If this doesn’t make her say “yes,” it’s time to dump her ass.

On January 26, 1905 one of South Africa’s many diamond mines produced the biggest hunk of glass the world has ever seen.  Weighing in at a whopping 3,106 carats, the Cullinan Diamond (named after the mine’s owner who probably wasn’t the stiff who actually dug it up) was and remains the largest gem quality rough diamond ever unearthed on the planet.  The shiny hunk of rock was split up into no less than 105 individual stones, of which many naturally wound up in the crown jewels of the British royal family…

That’s a lot of carats, Doc!

Alright, it’s time to put the fancy bling back in the underwear drawer and get on with answering this week’s Share Your World questions from Di!

The earth is Mitzi’s diamond…

Do you find it relatively easy to fall asleep at night?

No.  Especially with the new speaker system that was installed at Mecca last week, it’s near impossible for me to nod off on my 2 AM lunch break now.  I have to just wait until I get home in the morning so I can fall asleep in peace and quiet…

Time to spend all day prancing around on someone’s bed…

Do you remember your dreams?

The only way anyone remembers dreams is if they wake up in the middle of one, otherwise they’re just forgotten noise filtering through the brain while I’m trying to sleep during the day and the cat is prancing all over my bed.  It’s a shame, because they’re more interesting than anything I can cook up while awake.  I also have an odd tendency to have completely made up original songs pop up in my dreams that I’ll still have going through my mind if I wake up right then, but that a few minutes later are completely gone.  It’s too bad, I’m sure I’ve dreamed up a few number one hits now…

A mix tape of your dreams? Fuck off, Chip!

If you can’t sleep, do you watch TV, read or listen to music in the hope you will nod off?

I’m always amazed at people who can nod off with distractions like that.  I have never fallen asleep while reading even the most boring book or watching TV.  Music and TV sounds are not white noise, which is what I need to fall asleep…

Set me up a box fan, and I can sleep anywhere…

Can you literally sleep anywhere?

See above caption.  And if you don’t read the captions on my blog, you sure are missing out!

Sebastian Cabot finds my captions to be highly amusing…

Gratitude: Flowers from a child, be they weeds or roses, have equal worth.

Hmmmmmm…… rather than a retro comic this week, how about a scene from one of my past episodes of Shelf Critter Theatre?  It fittingly features the Sponkies on this Australia Day.  This comes from my Mother’s Day episode from 2018:

BOTH SPONKIES: Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!

SPARKLEPONY: You shouldn’t have, kids.  Really, you plucked a weed out of someone’s lawn just for me.  How absolutely touching.

SPONKIE 2: But it’s the thought that counts, right Ma?

SPARKLEPONY: Sure, in some namby pamby fantasy world where things such as deluxe spa gift cards and Cucci purses don’t exist.  I’ve raised such ungrateful little spawn who don’t know the value of material things.  Where did you even get this hideous thing at?

SPONKIE 1: Ummmmmm….

SPARKLEPONY: And why do you both smell like……. blech!

SPONKIE 2: Well, Ma, you see…..

RAINY: How dare you pull up one of my prized dandelions from the garden!  And then steal my precious rain gauge to use as a vase!  Incorrigible little brats like you two are why I am NOT a mother!

SPARKLEPONY: (Dragging both kids by the ears) Let’s go…. it’s tomato bath time!