The time has finally arrived to announce the winner of the 2023 Contest of Whatever! While I don’t think this year’s prompt will go down among my best (even I had trouble coming up with good teasers to serve as reminders and spur interest), the participants made the best of the situation and presented a fitting ten different interpretations for the tenth annual contest!
This year was the complete opposite of the 2022 contest, where one entry stole the show and gave me my easiest decision ever as to the overall winner. I debated quite a bit over the weekend, and at various times had preliminarily decided on no fewer than five of the ten submissions as the one I’d likely choose. It took going over each one of them one final time this morning before I ultimately made the decision on which one will take home the top prize.
And the winner of the Tenth Annual Contest of Whatever is………………….
In the end, it was the failed rise of the household machines that nabbed the prize. Perhaps my longtime fascination with appliance clocks, which dates back to when I was a kid and would get out of bed on sleepless nights to continually check the time on the oven clock, played a role in boosting Michael’s story up in my mind as a favorite. But what really won me over was the aspect of “smart” machines not really being that smart after all. As one who has certainly NOT embraced the smart technology of the past decade-plus, it tickled me to see these idiot devices taken down a peg. Viva November 31st indeed. How about just making some damn coffee?
On a somewhat funny note in me choosing Michael’s submission is that despite being posted on March 20th, I didn’t even notice it until I scrolled back through the comments of the Contest post while writing the judges commentary Thursday night! Good thing I’m always thorough….
Now, before the rest of you all try to banish me to the cornfield of November 31st…. you still have a chance at a prize of your own! There’s still the random prize to be awarded that all non-winning entries are eligible for! Let’s look at that lineup I chose on Friday…
- Rick Turton
- Willow Croft
Using these numbers to represent each 2023 CoW participant, I got out my trusty deck of playing cards which has decided the random winner of all previous nine contests, and dug out the Ace through Ten of spades, pitching the 8 for Michael.
Alright, Mitzi! Let’s pick……
Mitzi, what in the hell are you wearing!?!?
MITZI: Mitzi thought that, like, since it was Easter today, she’d totally wear her bunny costume to do the drawing!!!
That’s NOT the kind of bunny costume you wear on Easter! Take it off right now!!!
MITZI: Like, that’s what everyone down at the Playcritter Club tells Mitzi!
MITZI: There! Like, Mitzi’s tastefully nude now!
There’s nothing tasteful about you Mitzi…
MITZI: That’s totally not what Snuggie Wuggie Teddy Bear says! He says Mitzi tastes really delicious!!! Especially down…..
Mitzi! Just…. please…… DRAW A CARD!!!!!!!!
MITZI: Sounds like someone could totally use one of Mitzi’s famous lapdances! Mitzi charges more when she has her bunny costume…..
Sigh…… and the winner of the random drawing is………………
Congrats to Juliette!!!!
So Michael and Juliette can each choose one item valued at $20 USD or less from my Cafepress shop (Any image can be added to an item if you don’t like what’s there… and most of it is old as dirt). Just hit me up with your selection and mailing info at my email address which can be found here.
And it’s just not a Contest of Whatever without the crappy badges I make for everyone who played to show off on their blogs if they dare!
For the winners….
And for the almost winners…..
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who took part in the milestone 2023 Contest of Whatever! It was refreshing to have a lot of new blood this year, and I certainly hope to see everyone back to play again next year in the Eleventh Annual Contest of Whatever!
Thanks. I so enjoyed your and thought it the winner. Cheers
Big Congrats to you Michael and same to everyone who did such a great job coming up with stories, poems, etc. for COW2023. I hope my brain is in better condition by NEXT COW although there’s no guarantee for that either!! Thanks for the fun Squirrel guy……………….. 🙂
Maybe you should change your name! I just realized this is the fifth straight time someone with a first name starting with M won!
Mam has a nice ring to it…………..I’ve been called THAT before! It would be an easy name change.
Thanks so much. Such excellent, entertaining stories were offered, I’m flattered.
Reblogged this on DysFictional and commented:
And here are this year’s winners!
Great choice! Michael’s entry was one of my favorites. So appropriate in this age of smart devices and AI. Heck, even my car is smarter than I am…
Oooh so exciting! Congratulations to Michael for the win!
Thanks ES for a fun challenge again this year. 🙂
Congratulations to the winner and to you for being able to keep this yearly challenge going. You do make Whatever interesting.
I do think Whatever should be interesting. Whoever thinks it, However they create it, and Wherever they display it…
Congrats to the winners! The team here at DraliHQ is already in training for next year. Well, the new team. Obviously I had this year’s losing team shot…
I heartily approve. I’m sure there are still no shortage of applicants after eight straight teams were “fired”….
Congrats to Michael! I’m happy to display my loser badge if I can find out how to do that. 🤣
Congrats! And thanks for the fun, Evil Squirrel!
Oh fun. And I won again – the drawing. Thank you Bill. I’ll pick out something nice. So many good entries this year – I know it was a hard choice but Michael was brilliant. Congratulations dude. You deserve it. I still have to frame my pigladillo portrait from a few holidays ago.
Sounds like people are really jazzed about November 31. Well done contestants and congrats to the winners. You’re all winners in my mind-we had nothing so you’re all light years better than us. 🏆