Shelf Critter Theatre

The Shelf Critter gang, circa 2019

Shelf Critter Theatre is a (somewhat) regular Friday feature on The Nest that officially began in October 2016. SCT features my ridiculous collection of figurines, stuffies and other assorted treasures of mine (A number of whom were made and/or sent to me by blog readers and are credited here) acting out small plays in my computer room with minimal props and even more minimal scenery. While the potential of my collectibles in live “action” features using my beyond-warped sense of humor wasn’t fully realized until Bacon sent Bashful the pet rock to stay with me for a while… requiring me to come up with some kind of adventures for him, the roots of SCT can be traced back at least several years prior…

You can read about the many fascinating characters that make up this series in my SCT Meet the Gang page right here!

It’s a wild bunch, let me tell ya!

Some of the posts that inspired Shelf Critter Theatre include…

Along Came Scratchy from 2014

Who Needs An Elf? from 2014

Mystery Pony Theater 3000 from 2015

A Pony Christmas Carol…. posted in five parts (one, two, three, four, five) just prior to Christmas 2015

Preparation H from 2016

Most of Bashful’s Adventures (see below) in the Fall of 2016

Bashful’s quite happy to no longer be a part of the troupe…

Links to all of Bashful’s Adventures:

What’s In The Box? (9/7/16) – The ponies officially welcome Bashful to The Nest
Bowling For Critters (9/9/16) – Fuzzywig and Scrat take Bashful bowling
Of Mice And Rocks (9/11/16) – Rich Mouse, Poor Mouse
I Love It When A Drawing Comes Together (9/13/16) – Bashful can’t draw
Commercial Rock (9/16/16) – The Most Interesting Rock in the World
Meet The Star (9/18/16) – Buster’s dirty secret
Make A Wish (9/23/16) – Bashful’s three wishes go awry
Make It Rain (9/25/16) – Bashful messes with the wrong skunk
Pub Rock (9/30/16) – Bashful hits on a reluctant Sparklepony
Laundry Day (10/7/16) – Snuggle Bear helps to de-skunkify Bashful
Pros At Cons (10/9/16) – Fuzzy recruits Bashful for his crooked game
The Great Debate (10/12/16) – Bashful debates Uncle Sam
Tales From The Rock (10/14/16) – Fucked Up Fairy Tale #1 – The Three Billy Goats Gruff
Gotta Catch ‘Em All (10/17/16) – Bashful encounters a cunning Pokecritter
Leaving The Nest (10/21/16) – The ensemble bids Bashful adieu

Links to every episode of Shelf Critter Theatre:

#1 – A Very Sponkie Halloween (10/28/16) – The Sponkies go trick or treating
#2 – I Approve This Post (11/4/16) – Dueling political ads from Sam and Luna
#3 – Just The Facts, Ma’am (11/11/16) – The unusual suspects get questioned
#4 – Bad Santa (11/18/16) – The world’s worst mall Santa
#5 – Square Pegs (11/25/16) – Let’s play The Shelf Critter Squares
#6 – Up Up And Away (12/2/16) – Sammy drops by the Shelf on his was to the Rainbow Bridge
#7 – Seasons In The Snow (12/9/16) – Creating a wintry scene out of styrofoam peanuts
#8 – Humblebragging (12/16/16) – Our fucked up holiday newsletter to you!
#9 – The Big Night (12/23/16) – A Visit From Bad Santa
#10 – Year End Clearance (12/30/16) – No plot and no script leads to SCT’s most iconic image
#11 – Who’s Your Daddy? (1/6/17) – Maury Povich meets Mitzi
#12 – Superstition Ain’t The Way (1/13/17) – The most fucked up Friday the 13th ever
#13 – I Missed The Bus (1/20/17) – Tina’s adventures walking uphill to school
#14 – Rain In Vain (1/27/17) – Fleabag leads Rainy on the scent of precipitation
#15 – Mystic Unicorn (2/3/17) – Madame Mitzi, like, knows all!
#16 – Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Critter? (2/10/17) – Fucked Up Fairy Tale #2 – Little Red Riding Hood
#17 – More Than Happy (2/17/17) – The dangers of too much Prozac
#18 – Called On The Carpet (2/24/17) – The pre-SCT Oscars red “carpet” show!
#19 – Amateur Crittermatography (3/3/17) – A show almost as fucked up as the real Academy Awards
#20 – The Squirrel Upstairs (3/10/17) – Troll dares to confront THE Evil Squirrel over his roles
#21 – I’m The Pied Piper (3/17/17) – Fucked Up Fairy Tale #3 – The Pied Piper of Hamelin
#22 – The Great Pretender (9/22/17) – Skunk girls can’t get any respect
#23 – A Doggone Shame (10/6/17) – Fuzzywig tries to sell his dog to the Chinese buffet
#24 – Hard Time (10/13/17) – Snuggle Bear gets sent up the river!
#25 – Talentless Show (10/27/17) – Shelf Critter Idol brings out never before seen critters from my collection!
#26 – Expect The Unexpected (11/10/17) – Mitzi has the world’s most expected surprise
#27 – Children Of The Unicorn (11/17/17) – Hide the children… Mitzi’s in charge of the day care
#28 – Even Badder Santa (12/1/17) – Our terrible mall Santa returns with a vengeance
#29 – Mitzi Baby (12/8/17) – You can’t always get what you want, especially from Bad Santa
#30 – The Most Horrible Story Ever Told (12/15/17) – Desecrating the classic tale of a virgin birth
#31 – Shower Power (12/22/17) – Not your grandmother’s baby shower…
#32 – Happy Birth Day (12/29/17) – The little Mitzis are hatching!
#33 – Too Drool For School (1/5/18) – Zeeba and Bearcat’s first day of school
#34 – Rage Against The Machine (1/12/18) – A robotic fox bent on taking over the shelf!
#35 – The Cutting Room Floor (1/26/18) – Fucked up outtakes from Shelf Critter Theatre
#36 – Dark Shadows (2/2/18) – Groundpossum Day doesn’t go too well for poor Buster
#37 – Imagination At Work (2/9/18) – How to create a fucked up Contest of Whatever entry
#38 – Ain’t Too Proud To Beg (2/16/18) – The Shelf Critter Theatre telethon
#39 – A Date With Density (2/23/18) – Troll gets set up on a blind date with Rainy
#40 – Viewer Mail (3/16/18) – Chip and Fuzzywig answer fake reader questions
#41 – The Chop Shop (3/23/18) – Neutering gone horribly wrong
#42 – Bad Eggs (3/30/18) – Santa has to fill in for the Easter Bunny
#43 – Submitted For Your Approval (4/13/18) – Buster enters The Shelf Critter Zone
#44 – The Big Day (4/20/18) – Fuzzywig wants to celebrate 4/20 with everyone
#45 – There Goes The Neighborhood (4/27/18) – The Shelf is so much different than Sesame Street
#46 – Rhyme Time (5/4/18) – Fucked up nursery rhymes for deranged children
#47 – The Mother Of All Episodes (5/11/18) – SCT’s fucked up tribute to Mothers Day
#48 – Recipe For Disaster (5/23/18) – Snuggle Bear cooks up something truly awful for a contest
#49 – Net Brutality (6/1/18) – Warning: This episode contains tracking cookies
#50 – Million Dollar Bear (6/22/18) – Snuggle Bear takes on The Shelf’s most fucked up game show
#51 – A Shelf Of Sin (7/6/18) – Temptation times seven on The Shelf
#52 – Boy Meets Girls (11/9/18) – A first love story like you’ll only find on The Shelf.
#53 – Poetry In Commotion (11/16/18) – The critters can even make poetry recital a fucked up mess
#54 – Pardon Me (11/22/18) – Stupid Presidential tradition meets stupid Shelf Critter Theatre episode
#55 – A December To Remember (11/30/18) – Creating the world’s most fucked up Advent calendar
#56 – Two Thousand Zero Zero (12/28/18) – Celebrating The Nest’s 2,000th post in millennial fashion
#57 – Flight Risk (1/4/19) – The shit really hits the fan
#58 – Lowering The Bar (2/8/19) – Another messed up Contest of Whatever entry
#59 – An Oscar Worthy Performance (2/15/19) – Val the unwanted Valentines unicorn takes the Shelf critters down a peg
#60 – Not Necessarily The News (3/8/19) – The real Fake News
#61 – Enter The Dragon (3/15/19) – It’s not everyday a dragon wanders into your crib
#62 – Tax Day (4/12/19) – Uncle Sam squeezes blood from the turnip critters
#63 – To The Moon (4/19/19) – Mitzi’s adventures on “The Moon”
#64 – The Jenius (4/26/19) – Nobody likes a game show know-it-all
#65 – Astrologer To The Critters (5/10/19) – Madame Mitzi returns, this time with her own psychic show!
#66 – Mail Call (5/17/19) – Fuzzy and Chip work the SCT mailroom
#67 – They Might Be Giants (6/14/19) – Fucked Up Fairy Tale #4 – Jack and the Beanstalk
#68 – Crittercare (6/21/19) – Bub fights the system for a new weewee
#69 – Bible Adventures (7/19/19) – Blasphemy reigns at Pastor Ricky’s Vacation Bible School
#70 – Good Ol’ Boys (9/13/19) – A trio of innocent farm boys get corrupted by the shelf.
#71 – Disorder On The Shelf (9/27/19) – The trial of the millennium
#72 – Dragon Quest (10/18/19) – Fierce dragons and fucked up knights
#73 – Come As You Aren’t (10/25/19) – Costumed craziness at the Shelf Halloween party
#74 – Black Thursday (11/28/19) – Fucked up critters meet fucked up sale
#75 – Hot For Trots (3/13/20) – The gang attempts to survive the Great Pandemic of 2020
#76 – Critters Gone Viral (4/7/20) – The side effects of viral lockdown
#77 – Sex And The Single Skunk (5/22/20) – Rainy needs to get laid
#78 – Flower Power (6/26/20) – The Shelf is no place to grow your roots
#79 – SCIENCE! (7/17/20) – The only somewhat educational SCT post ever
#80 – Gimme Shelter (8/14/20) – Adopting critters has never been so fucked up
#81 – Rated Arrrrrrrrrr! (9/18/20) – Talk Like A Fucked Up Shelf Critter Day
#82 – A Stand Up Actor (11/13/20) – The life and times of Brother Bear
#83 – Meet The New Boss (1/20/21) – Inauguration Day, SCT style
#84 – The Slow Lanes (2/19/21) – Take the critters bowling, take them bowling
#85 – Undercover Angel (4/23/21) – Buster, the world’s worst guardian angel
#86 – The Chamber Of Tortures (6/11/21) – The horrors that go on in Shadow’s evil laboratory
#87 – The Psycho Ward (7/16/21) – Dr. Chip’s first day as a psychiatrist
#88 – Dear Crabby (8/13/21) – Val’s advice stand is open for business
#89 – Special Sauce (10/1/21) – Someone ate all of Hung Lo’s porridge
#90 – It’s A Wonderful Shelf (12/24/21) – The Shelf without Evil Squirrel (gasp!)
#91 – Calendar Of Critters (2/11/22) – The Shelfese Zodiac!
#92 – An Eye For An Eye (4/8/22) – Buster needs his eye put back on
#93 – Boomsday (7/1/22) – Fireworks on the Shelf!
#94 – Alternate History (3/17/23) – This day in fucked up history

Special SCT movie presentation – The Gizzard Of Blahs:

Part I (7/20/18) – Farm livin’ is the life for Mitzi
Part II (7/27/18) – Riding the storm out
Part III (8/3/18) – Meet the buttmunchkins
Part IV (8/10/18) – The Wicked Bitch lives up to her name
Part V (8/17/18) – Meet our Scarecrow
Part VI (8/24/18) – The unfunny Tin Man
Part VII (8/31/18) – I’d be lyin’ if I said you’d meet a Lion
Part VIII (9/7/18) – Almost out-foxed by the Bitch
Part IX (9/14/18) – Inside The Cubic Zirconia City
Part X (9/21/18) – Meeting The Gizzard
Part XI (9/28/18) – Journey to the Bitch’s castle
Part XII (10/5/18) – Wasted on the way…
Part XIII (10/12/18) – Rescuing Mitzi and battling the wicked bitch
Part XIV (10/19/18) – Back to The Gizzard
Part XV (10/26/18) – We’ve ruined their exit
Part XVI (11/2/18) – The utterly insane conclusion to this messterpiece

You’ll never look at The Wizard of Oz the same way again…

SCT shorts appearing in Random Image Inspiration:

Crush Hour (1/30/19) – Bub and Troll check up on their old crushes
Secret Ingredients (2/13/19) – You don’t really want to know what’s in the food
Artsy Fartsy (4/3/19) – Crafting with the critters
Who’s Bad? (5/29/19) – Lyrics unapproved by the Michael Jackson estate
A Dumb Idea (6/26/19) – How many critters does it take to change a light bulb?
A Dog’s Life (7/31/19) – The consequences of beating your dog
Byte Me (8/28/19) – Little trouble in big China
Shelf Netiquette (10/30/19) – Post-interview emails from real Shelf critters
Sign Here Please (11/20/19) – Autograph hounds on the Shelf
Who’ll Start The Rain (1/22/20) – Rainy finally gets what she wants
Here’s Mud In Your Eye (2/26/20) – Fuzzy needs an eye to poke out
Democracy In Traction (5/13/20) – Uncle Sam crashes the election
Maxed Out (10/14/20) – I need a credit card that’s got no limit…
Crank Callers (11/18/20) – Sports call-in shows made better
Sign Your Name (3/3/21) – Signing the Declaration of Shelf Critter Independence
The 70’s Preservation Society (7/14/21) – The music of The Carpenters was never so fucked up