Tag Archives: children

An Oscar Worthy Performance

VAL: Oh boy… February 15th, and once again I’m still sitting on this damn dusty shelf because no man’s got balls enough to buy their ho a pretty little unicorn like me.  Well, fuck them!  Fuck every one of them.  … Continue reading

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BDAC – 12/6/18

Day 6: Well, That Sucks SQUIRREL CHILD 1: Wow!  What’s happening, Uncle Shadow? SHADOW: I used my telekinetic powers to create a black hole behind Buster.  He’s getting sucked into the singularity with a gravitational pull even light can not … Continue reading

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There Goes The Neighborhood

SQUIRREL CHILDREN: Uncle Chip!  Uncle Chip! CHIP: I’m not your uncle.  I don’t even have any siblings. CHILD 1: Uncle Chip, we’re BORED! CHILD 2: Can you read us a story? CHILD 3: Or maybe a comic book? CHIP: I … Continue reading

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Meet The Squirrel Children

Beware the Ides of Shelf Critter Theatre… where impending and fucked up doom is always just a dagger away.  No need to be so dire, so maybe for this Thursday’s SCT meet and greet, we’ll feature one of the gang’s … Continue reading

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Children Of The Unicorn

SPONKIE 1: Mommy!  When will we old enough not to have to go to day care? SPARKLEPONY: Maybe when you are old enough to qualify for Social Security… SPONKIE 2: But Mommy!  All of the rest of the foals in … Continue reading

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