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Tag Archives: elf
On the third day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me… Three French…. words. SANTA: Just three!?!? George Carlin said there were seven of them, and that ain’t even close to enough profanity to get me through this fucking holiday! … Continue reading
SANTA: Alright, the sleigh’s loaded up with all this useless shit I had to buy at Mecca because my elves can’t figure out the Chinese pictogram instructions to assemble anything! Let’s get this road on the show! The faster I … Continue reading
SEYMOUR: Checking out the weather report, huh Santa? SANTA: How very observant of you, Seymour. What if I was looking at something personal and confidential, you nosy fuck? SEYMOUR: Oh no, Santa! Is it really going to get up to … Continue reading
Christm….. errr, THIS morning…. EVIL SQUIRREL: Santa not only insults me by not honoring my request, but he re-gifts his Squirreldeer he already gave to Mr. Fox? I hope that jolly old sack of shit enjoys his new life on … Continue reading