Tag Archives: elf

Letters To Santa – Day 20

SEYMOUR: Santa, I’ve always wondered…. what’s up with your right eye? SANTA: I’m winking with it, you idiot! SEYMOUR: No Santa, it’s always closed!  I’m curious….. what happened to it? SANTA: Alright, it was an accident due to an unfortunate … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 19

SANTA: You look like you’ve wandered WAAAAAAY out of your territory. SLIDER: My name is Slider, and the entire Shelf is my territory.  I’m a critter rights inspector for the United Shelves, and I’m here to investigate claims that you’re … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 18

SEYMOUR: I’ve got some more letters from the critters that were delivered today, Santa! SANTA: Dammit, who even writes letters anymore?  How come nobody’s emailing me their stupid lists? SEYMOUR: Well Santa, when you set up email service here back … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 17

SANTA: You know what I love best about living at the North Pole, Seymour? SEYMOUR: The scenic winter wonderland of the arctic? SANTA: No, you dipshit! SANTA: The North Poledancers! SEYMOUR: Santa, why am I getting this strange sensation inside … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 16

SEYMOUR: Excuse me, Santa? SANTA: What is it, Seymour?  Can’t you see I’m busy buying bulk boxes of coal from Amazon? SEYMOUR: I just wanted to give you my Christmas wish list, sir. SANTA: That’s not how it works, dumbass!  … Continue reading

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