Tag Archives: elf

Letters To Santa – Day 15

SANTA: Who in the hell found this shitty ass Christmas tree that’s making my cabin look like a dump? SEYMOUR: I think the tree looks beautiful, Santa!  Someone tried really hard to set up the festive atmosphere with this… SANTA: … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 14

SEYMOUR: Santa!  What are you doing? SANTA: I’m crossing the Indian Ocean in a kayak.  What in the fuck does it look like I’m doing, Seymour!?!? SEYMOUR: You can’t smoke that pipe, Santa!  Most places don’t allow smoking these days! … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 13

SANTA: “Dear Satan”…… dammit!!!  Don’t these critters hire proofreaders to go over their letters for stupid ass mistakes?  I can’t stand dyslexics! SEYMOUR: What do you give naughty dyslexics for Christmas, Santa?  Cola? SANTA: Dammit, Seymour!  I’m the one who … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 12

SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SANTA: What in the everloving hell is all that damn noise!?!?  This job already gives me enough of a migraine… SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SEYMOUR: Oh, that’s Scrat’s sleigh alarm going off, … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 11

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SANTA: What?  More mail?  I really need to get an unlisted address.  Say, why were you hanging around the mailbox anyway? SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!! SANTA: If you were waiting for this … Continue reading

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