Tag Archives: fucked up

The Cutting Room Floor

EVIL SQUIRREL: Welcome everyone to another fascinating episode of Shelf Critter Theatre!  Well, at least I would be welcoming you to another fascinating episode of Shelf Critter Theatre if I could afford a staff of writers so I didn’t have … Continue reading

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The Most Horrible Story Ever Told

It’s a cold December night as Mitzi walks herself back home after a grueling night of working the pole at the local gentlecritter’s club… MITZI: Brrrrrrrrsies!  It’s, like, so cold I can’t even feel my nipplies! (Believe it or not) … Continue reading

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Even Badder Santa

The little critters lined up at the local Mecca to tell Santa what their greedy asses want for Christmas are beginning to grow restless as the jolly old elf is now a good half hour late for his scheduled meet … Continue reading

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Hard Time

SNUGGLE BEAR: Heeeey there, cutie pie! TINA: (Squeeing like…. well, a little girl) Uncle Snuggie!!!! SNUGGLE: Ready for our big date tonight? TINA: Maybeeeeeee….. you got some candy? SNUGGLE: Dude, I treat all of my ladies right! TINA: Is that … Continue reading

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Called On The Carpet

TWILIGHT: Good evening everyone out there in Blogland!  I’m Twilight alongside crack fashion and verbal diarrhea expert Applejack… and this is the 2017 Golden Squirrels Red Carpet Show! AJ: Howdy, y’all!  Can we talk? TWILIGHT: Maybe later, AJ.  The biggest … Continue reading

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