Tag Archives: reindeer

The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 3

On the third day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me… Three French…. words. SANTA: Just three!?!?  George Carlin said there were seven of them, and that ain’t even close to enough profanity to get me through this fucking holiday! … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 23

SEYMOUR: Checking out the weather report, huh Santa? SANTA: How very observant of you, Seymour.  What if I was looking at something personal and confidential, you nosy fuck? SEYMOUR: Oh no, Santa!  Is it really going to get up to … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 22

Christm….. errr, THIS morning…. EVIL SQUIRREL: Santa not only insults me by not honoring my request, but he re-gifts his Squirreldeer he already gave to Mr. Fox?  I hope that jolly old sack of shit enjoys his new life on … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 20

SEYMOUR: Santa, I’ve always wondered…. what’s up with your right eye? SANTA: I’m winking with it, you idiot! SEYMOUR: No Santa, it’s always closed!  I’m curious….. what happened to it? SANTA: Alright, it was an accident due to an unfortunate … Continue reading

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Letters To Santa – Day 16

SEYMOUR: Excuse me, Santa? SANTA: What is it, Seymour?  Can’t you see I’m busy buying bulk boxes of coal from Amazon? SEYMOUR: I just wanted to give you my Christmas wish list, sir. SANTA: That’s not how it works, dumbass!  … Continue reading

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