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Tag Archives: santa
SANTA: You look like you’ve wandered WAAAAAAY out of your territory. SLIDER: My name is Slider, and the entire Shelf is my territory. I’m a critter rights inspector for the United Shelves, and I’m here to investigate claims that you’re … Continue reading
SEYMOUR: I’ve got some more letters from the critters that were delivered today, Santa! SANTA: Dammit, who even writes letters anymore? How come nobody’s emailing me their stupid lists? SEYMOUR: Well Santa, when you set up email service here back … Continue reading
SANTA: You know what I love best about living at the North Pole, Seymour? SEYMOUR: The scenic winter wonderland of the arctic? SANTA: No, you dipshit! SANTA: The North Poledancers! SEYMOUR: Santa, why am I getting this strange sensation inside … Continue reading
SEYMOUR: Excuse me, Santa? SANTA: What is it, Seymour? Can’t you see I’m busy buying bulk boxes of coal from Amazon? SEYMOUR: I just wanted to give you my Christmas wish list, sir. SANTA: That’s not how it works, dumbass! … Continue reading