A Brand New Car!!!!

Santa Baby, slip a Lexus under the tree for me!

Santa Baby, slip a Lexus under the tree for me!

tuesday tvLike many of you out there, I grew up in a family that struggled to get by.  I not only learned a lot about doing without and appreciating the things money couldn’t buy, but I actually got a distaste for the luxuries of life.  Don’t take me to a fancy restaurant, I won’t be eating anything there.  I’d rather have Mickey Dee’s or KFC.  I’ll pass on all of the expensive gadgetry and iCrap, thank you.  I think luxury cars look abominable… and I wouldn’t be caught dead driving one.

And you can rest assured I would never, ever, ever give a luxury car as a gift….

I think I can safely say that you don’t have to be someone who abhors the “finer things” in life to want to throw up in your mouth watching that commercial… and the many other ads Lexus bombards us with every holiday season as part of their “December to Remember” campaign.  The very thought of buying someone a car that costs more than many of us make in a year is enough to make most of us want to storm into a gated community and go all Motorhead over some of its denizens.

Mmmmm!  Tastes like caviar!

Mmmmm! Tastes like caviar!

Now, I realize that Lexus has just as much right as anyone else to advertise their wares in a way that will get more people to buy them… and there are a lot of people out there who have enough money lying around to get their loved ones the gift of overpriced German engineering for Christmas… but still, for the majority of the population, the very idea behind these commercials is merely rubbing our noses in the fact that we are poor and we should feel ashamed of ourselves for being too cheap to give our wife/husband/son/daughter/grandfather/cousin/best friend/illicit lover a new Lexus.

rainbow donkey bum

Not even the gift of unicorn magic is better than getting your loved one a Lexus, you pathetic ingrate!

The very audacity of Lexus to assume one of their cars is the perfect gift for the average person to give to someone else!  The gap between the haves and have nots in society is already wide enough and beginning to stir tension.  These December to Remember ads are like throwing a little Texas Tea on the fire burning in our barrels that keep us warm on long winter nights…

Get off of my lawn!  Unless you are going to mow it...

Get off of my lawn! Unless you are going to mow it…

Here’s a call for some sanity in luxury car commercials, and a warning to the upper upper class high society that they need to be kicked in their fancy big balls.  No sane person with any financial common sense whatsoever buys another person a brand new car worth several tens of thousands of dollars for Christmas, or any other occasion.  The only people who could afford to put a bow on a brand new Lexus and give it to their new trophy girlfriend probably don’t need your advertising to be lured into a Lexus dealership to part with several hundred pictures of Benjamin Franklin they probably didn’t work very hard for in the first place.  If we see these ads again next holiday season, The Nest might have no choice but to organize an Occupy the Lexus Dealership movement!

Ooooh!  Mommy!!!  Can we drive down to the ghetto and wave at all of the poor people again?  PLEEEEEEEASE!!!

Ooooh! Mommy!!! Can we drive down to the ghetto with the big bow on the car and wave at all of the poor people again? PLEEEEEEEASE!!!

As a side note, today Evil Squirrel’s Nest celebrates its second anniversary on WordPress!!!  Yes, to think I started this odd collection of squirreliness all with this lameass post on Christmas Eve 2011.  I’m not sure if there is a list of what kind of gifts are appropriate to get a blogger for each milestone anniversary (not that I’m asking for any, mind you), but I’m pretty sure that for a second anniversary, it probably isn’t a brand new Lexus…

Happy Second Blogging Anniversary!!!

Happy Second Blogging Anniversary!!!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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35 Responses to A Brand New Car!!!!

  1. merbear74 says:

    Thank you for the gift of Christmas vomit, ES. Happy blogoversary to you!! 🙂

  2. Juliette says:

    A big car payment for Christmas… just what I wanted! I want that possum! I will be smiling all day thinking about it! And Happy Blogoversary too! Woo Hoo!

  3. Bethany Karn says:

    Well. Guess we won’t be dropping off that 2014 LS, like we had planned…hmmmm, back to the drawing board. what about a Cadillac? is that Man of the People enuff for you? No? oh well.
    Bloggie Christmas and Merry Anniversary to you and all your Evil Minions!

  4. Her Majesty says:

    Coincidentally, today is Lemmy’s 68th birthday? He’s the Christmas gift that keeps on giving….

  5. Well said! Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas to you and the Evil Squirrel’s Nest family!

  6. youngatfifty says:

    Merry blogoversary to all the evil squirrels out there 😉 Ah ! how do the rich measure their riches ? For us downtrodden ones, owning a lexus is being rich, but I wonder what are the thresholds for the rich, super rich, stinky rich, ……… !!!!

  7. Scout Paget says:

    Yeah, when I see those adverts I kinda sneer – and I’m usually a live-and-let-live sort. I laughed when I received an e-mail from Apple offering a discount on the MacBook Air – ‘great gift’ sort of thing. Anyway – congrats on your blogoversary! Well done!

  8. draliman says:

    Oh no, I’ve bought all my friends a Lexus, even the friends I only pretend to like, and now I feel like a rich entitled asshole!
    (Note: I haven’t really. It’s BMWs).
    (Second Note: That was a lie as well, it was boxes of cheap chocolates).

    Congratulations on your Blogaversary, and Merry Christmas to all at the Nest 🙂

  9. Lynda says:

    Do you know how much I love that last photo of the Opossum? 😀
    Happy Blogaversary, ES!
    Oh, and so sorry to let you down, but I had a choice to make this year… Buy you a Lexus, or pay for my Obama Care… 😉

  10. Happy Bloggerversity to someone who appreciates the things that matter and is able to think for himself! 🙂

  11. Mental Mama says:

    Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy 2nd. 🙂

  12. dogfordavid says:

    Happy blogging anniversary 🙂 and I hope you had a good Christmas : )

    • Thank you, and I did! Hope yours was great as well! 🙂

      • dogfordavid says:

        Glad to hear that. 🙂 and thanks 🙂 I have been fighting with being weak again and treating an injury but the boys definitely had a wonderful Christmas this year. They finally understood enough to be truly excited without any prompting from me and that was fun to watch. 🙂

  13. C.K. Hope says:

    I went to a school district where the minority of us were poor and the majority got BMW’s with bows on them for their 16th birthdays. My parents had a Buick (ok it was a Wildcat so it was a classic and it was fast as hell, so *I* thought it was cool.) I have a 90 something Cavalier now, and don’t foresee me ever thinking a luxury car was the way to go. And honestly, if I had the money to buy a Lexus (bahahaha) I’d use it to buy a Roadrunner. And a bigger house …

    Happy Bloggy Birthday! I should have made you a cake!

    • Oh lord, I would never have survived in a school full of snotty rich kids! No wonder you went off the deep end! 😉

      Thanks! Chocolate cake with chocolate icing… and burn it please! 😉

      • C.K. Hope says:

        How about I light it on fire? 😉

        I still don’t know what my parents were thinking moving our poor butts to the “rich” area. Delusions of grandeur lol

  14. Twindaddy says:

    I’ve always hated those idiotic ads. Who buys someone a car for Christmas? Fucktards.

  15. Dylan Dailey says:

    Ooohhh, I hate the luxury car commercials, too! They do rub your nose in it. How about that fucktard classic where the neighbors are all out looking at houses beautifully decked out in lights, and an arrogant douchebag literally lifts his nose in the air then pulls his Acura out of the garage, headlights on, and the neighbors drift over like zombie moths. If I had a pistol in my hand, I’d shoot the fucking TV when that one comes on!

    • I haven’t seen that ad and couldn’t track it down on YouTube, but that definitely sounds like a typical luxury car commercial. I hate any commercial that treats a product that’s supposed to be “elite” as a status symbol for your place in society. Yeah, it’s a status symbol alright… and your status is FUCKTARD!

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