Happy Southpaw Day!

painting on the ceiling

Today is International Left-handers Day, a day set aside to honor 10% of the population in the one month of the American calendar that contains no commonly celebrated holidays.  Above we see Fanny, the resident lefty of the ES universe, and damned proud about it.  Thanks to the reverse way in which the brain works, she is the only one around here who is in her right mind…

cute cat pajamas

Southpaw Cuties represent!

I did not post about this day for my benefit…. I’m one of the majority who is right-handed.  However, there are a few things I do exclusively left-handed and it has always puzzled me as to why that is.  The three I know of right off the bat are….

Batting:

batting skunk

You can tell I reversed this image because her right hand didn’t come off the bat like it would for any lefty batter worth their salt.

I throw right-handed and bat left-handed.  That’s not really an odd combination… there are many players in the Major Leagues who fit that description.  Any infielder you see batting lefty other than the pitcher or first baseman is a right/left, because if you throw left, you’re discouraged from a young age at playing any of the other infield positions, and few left-handed throwers have ever played at 2B, 3B, SS, or C.  By contrast, the left/right combo is much rarer.  Among players you may recognize, lefty throwers/right batters include: Rickey Henderson, Mark Carreon, Cody Ross, David McCarty, Brian R. Hunter (the ex-Brave), and one of my faves, Ryan Ludwick.

I’ve always wondered though why the handedness of batting is defined as it is.  It feels natural for me to swing the bat “lefty”, and when I do so, it is my right hand which is supplying the power to the bat.  All my left hand is doing is guiding the bat towards the ball.  If I were to try to bat “righty”, the opposite would be true.  Anyway, it seems like my right hand is still the dominant one when I swing a bat lefty.  I don’t get it, but if it qualifies me for a partial membership in the Southpaw Fraternity, I guess I’ll take it…

Eating:

squirrel burger

McMange

Here’s another picture of mine I took to Paint to reverse… because it shows exactly how I’d set up my meal at any fast food restaurant.  Drink on the left, fries on the left, burger/chicken on the right.  And I exclusively use my left hand to eat with.  I didn’t first notice this until 2003, when they first began letting us leave work at night to go out for 2 AM lunch.  Every Tuesday night, I’d hit the drive thru at McDonalds, and eat there on their parking lot before going back to work.  The burger and fries were both set up on a napkin in the passenger seat of my car.

Guess which hand I was eating with?  Yep, I was reaching all the way across my body to grab at the food sitting way to my right with my left hand.  Weird.

Now, on the very rare occasions when I’ll eat using silverware, I will lift the food to my mouth righty.  But when I can use my hands, you can best believe the left one will be doing the grabbing and the lifting…

Shaving:

lefty pitcher

I don’t have a shaving image on file, so here’s a classic avatar of Southpaw Fanny.

I didn’t notice this until earlier this year… I shave left-handed!  You would think wielding a dangerous blade over my face that I’d probably take care to perform the task with my most capable hand…. but I use the same hand that shit this out when I tried to draw ES with it.  How in the heck did this happen?

Reflections

Maybe staring at my ugly ass fried my brai…… hey, wait a minute!

My theory: Like everyone else, I learned to shave in front of a mirror, and I’ll bet the mirror had my brain tricked into thinking my left hand was actually my right!  I’m already somewhat dyslexic as it is, but put me in front of a mirror, and I get my sense of direction all jacked up.  This would also explain why I shaved with my left hand for so long and had absolutely no idea I was even doing it!

squirrel balloon

An epiphany!!!! And another lefthanded avatar!

So if the world is 90% right-handed, I guess I can say I’m actually 90% right-handed as well.  The world was designed for me, and as an added bonus, I help keep those LOOGYs employed well into their 40’s.  I can also conveniently keep my drink away from the mouse side of the computer desk so I don’t spill it reaching to quickly click off of a squirrel porn link if someone comes over unexpectedly.  It also means I am entitled to 10% recognition on this day… which means I should get partial holiday pay and an hour off of work tonight.

Now if only I could quickly remember which direction is which without instinctively having to put my right hand over my heart like I was taught in pre-school when we recited the pledge of allegiance.  It’s the internal GPS of my left-brained mind….

tsa patdown

And now, fun things to do with your left hand!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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