Now showing on Channel 33…. scrambled porn!!!
Oh my… for the second straight week, I’ve started out my Flashback Friday post with 
some archaic looking device that anyone born since Ronnie Reagan left office has most likely never seen before, and is probably frightened of. Relax, kiddies… back in my day, this was one of several old relics that we used to tune in cable TV. Yes, we had cable TV back in the 80’s… and a number of those stations are still with us today and at some point in the recent past have likely celebrated 30th anniversaries.
Back when MTV’s acronym actually had some meaning!
I scoured and scoured the vast openness of Google to find an old cable channel lineup from the 1980’s, but came up empty… which is too bad, because it would have pointed to one of the first oddities a youngster might notice about that old cable box. Why does it only seem to have 37 channels? Heck, these days, most basic cable packages come with around 100 channels. Well, even though cable TV was first getting a strong foothold on the country back in the early 80’s, there still weren’t very many channels of national prominence. When you factor in that about 10 of the spots on that box were reserved for local network and local access (not to mention three set aside for FAA access, which my 9 year old mind couldn’t comprehend at the time), there were only about 20-25 actual cable channels back then.
The only possible explanation for how Mother Angelica became one of the biggest cable TV stars of the 80’s.
That simple, but clunky box sat atop many televisions three decades ago. Here’s an even older version of a cable box that was the kind I saw the first time I laid eyes on this curiosity that gave us more than 7 channels…
Is that AM or FM?
Notice that neither of these boxes had an eyehole to make them compatible with a remote control. So even if you did have the luxury of changing channels on your TV without leaving the couch, you still had to wriggle your ass out of the seat to switch from The Nashville Network to The Christian Broadcasting Network. That was one of the small prices to pay to have access to music videos any time, any day instead of just on Friday nights, or to get the weather whenever you wanted it from trusted names like Dale Dockus and John Hope.
John Hope practically invented hurricanes!
Today, cable TV is a vast wasteland of hundreds of channels with a ridiculous amount of content. What’s truly sad about the state of CATV is the way many classic niche channels have allowed their very identities to be stripped so that now there is very little actual variety on anymore, and the programs offered are essentially just heavily edited “reality shows” involving almost any theme you can imagine. MTV is the most infamous example of this devolution, but so many other stations have followed suit. Does anyone out there really believe that TLC stands for The Learning Channel in these days of pageants and Honey Boo Boo? What could possibly be Artsy and Entertainmentlike about a bunch of hillbillies or bounty hunters? Since when are modern dramas considered to be American Movie Classics?
Just try and hock this, Pawn Stars!
The early days of cable bring back so many memories for me… and I’ll be sure to share some more of those in detail in future Flashback Friday posts. But until then, I need to get up and press a new button after the umpteenth night of some silly reality marathon. I can only pray my shiny 21st century cable box can become a time machine, and allow me to stumble across some semblance of coaxial sanity. This looks like a job for the greatest secret agent in the world…..
Oh, crumbs!
Awesome walk down memory lane–thank you!
You’re welcome! I love being the tour guide of nostalgia! 🙂
The day we got Nickelodeon was one of the best days of my pathetic life. I love you’re Friday Flashback’s!
Classic Nick was great! When did you get cable? We got it in 1984… and I have a future and hopefully not too far off FF idea that will bring back a lot of memories for anyone who watched a lot of Nickelodeon in the mid and late 80’s…
Cool! We had it off and on, starting in maybe 1982, because we were poor. lol
Likewise us… and my parents would have never sprung for it had me and the sisters not become so enthralled with seeing MTV out at my Granny’s house. We may not have discovered MTV out there had it not been the next channel over from The Nashville Network, which was Granny’s preferred channel…
Ah yes, when they actually played fucking music…Ugh, hate country, though some of the old stuff is ok..like “Elvira.” lol
I love the History Channel. Well, H2 (History 2). I’m not sure what “regular” History Channel is supposed to be. Pawn shops, renovations, junk pickers … hubbie loves the “reality” shows but they drive me up the wall. Nothing “history” or even “reality” about it!!!!! I’m glad someone else is on the same page. Thanks for the flash back!
Now … do you remember the old TV rotors that would rotate the antenna? Ah, yes, the days when we had 31, 25, and sometimes 68. o.O
There are many people on that same page, believe me! I have no problems with the shows themselves since they obviously have their audience, but it bothers me when stations give up on their identity that once defined them….
Oh my… I think I might know what you’re talking about, but I think that predates my time a bit. In this day of HDTV, how in the world did we all survive the era of broadcast TV! I remember putting Reynolds Wrap on the rabbit ears to help get better reception….
Hahaha! I can remember that!
So much my kiddo (12) doesn’t understand … like loading film in a camera, rotary telephones, and the sadness that came with missing the Peanuts cartoon specials. Ah, good times, good times. 😉
He *does* understand records though, since we have a huge record collection. Nothing sounds like vinyl. (I wouldn’t recommend wearing vinyl though. o.O)
you should be a teacher, mr. brown …
Who’s Ronald Reagan? (Grumpy Smurf says stop making me feel old. I’m still in denial.)
Ronald Reagan!?!?!? The actor!?!?!?
Who’s the Vice President, Jerry Lewis!?!?
Major bonus points for including Danger Mouse. I soooo miss him.
Thank you! DM was one of the most underrated cartoons of the 80’s!
Oh how right you are! 400+ channels and all full of absolute crap!! Let’s not get into what that says about the television-viewing public. Help!!!
Bruce Springsteen is going to have to update his song “57 Channels and Nothin’ On”….
Seriously. 🙂
the Jerrold box is like a set piece from some early 80’s film classic, like War Games. I’m hoping the Smithsonian is setting up a new wing for these items. You can curate. Or, at the very least, become a Danger Mouse Docent. good luck with that ;-D
I wish I had one of those boxes…. it would be fun to play with when I got bored. I may have to start an internet museum of 80’s curiosities….
OOH, but wait! That Jerrold Box did allow for changing the channels from wherever you were sitting! The cord we had on the back of ours was lonnnnng! You could stretch it over to the couch or chair and then surf away.
I guess we just got short-corded!
I grew up in the country, so we never had cable. Some of my friends, who lived in town, had cable. I was mesmerized by MTV whenever I visited them. Aaaaaah … the memories. I miss the videos.
Oh! And we never, ever had a TV that could change channels by remote. My dad said it was a total waste of money to pay extra to be lazy. LOL 😀