Attack Of The Klingons

Looks like you have a joey in your pouch, squirrel...

Looks like you have a joey in your pouch, squirrel…

This poor Saturday Squirrel was unfortunate enough to get captured by my camera at a sqturday squirrel logomoment when he was carrying a little extra junk in his trunk.  Don’t you just hate those annoying klingons that get caught in your fur?  With all that scurrying around in trees that they do, it’s not surprising to see a bushy-haired winter squirrel pick up a stray object or two on its underside, like that broken off piece of a stick you see near this putz’s navel.  It still looks a tad embarrassing, though… you might wanna brush that out sometime, pal.  You never know when there might be squirrel girls watching…

Have a great, baggage free weekend everyone!

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More Beatlemania

angeles1

ANGEL: So, how’s your entry for Merby’s Beatles Contest coming, Evil?

ES: Not good… I’m so totally stumped.  This is nowhere near as easy as last year’s contest was.  I can’t come up with anything worth sending in!

ANGEL: How can you not be inspired by lyrics from some of the greatest songwriters of all time?  It seems like unless it involves being a smartass, a prevert, or gratuitously killing possums, your muse is absolutely useless.

ES: Give me a break, Angel!  Have you looked at any of these lyrics yet?  None of them make a goddamn bit of sense unless you’re stoned…. and MBRS took the last of my good stuff last night.

angel mbrs stoned

ANGEL:  Oooooh…. no wonder I feel so weird today.  Well, here, let me see if I can help you out.  Let’s look at the first set of lyrics…

Across The Universe

Words are flowing out like
Endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me

ANGEL: That’s so beautiful!  If you could write poetry like that for me, Evil, you wouldn’t have to get your jollies when I least expected it…

goose

ES: I don’t know what any of that even means!  Endless rain in a paper cup!?!?  How is that even possible?

endless rain

ANGEL: It’s a metaphor, dumbass!  How did you ever get to be an artist, anyway?

ES: Hey, don’t make fun of us Matchbook Cover University grads!

matchbook pirate

ES: Go Fighting Flints!

ANGEL:  Here, try the next set of lyrics!

Baby You’re A Rich Man

Baby you’re a rich man
Baby you’re a rich man
Baby you’re a rich man, too
You keep all your money in a big brown bag
Inside a zoo, what a thing to do
Baby you’re a rich man
Baby you’re a rich man
Baby you’re a rich man, too

EVIL:  Hey, I always liked that song!  If I was a rich squirrel, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!  See I’d have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy squirrel!

angel04

ANGEL:  Not THAT song, you moron!  Read the words!  This was written long before Gwen Stefani was even born!

ES:  Oh… ummmm, wait a minute!  What kind of moron keeps their money in a big brown bag inside a zoo?

moneybag

ES: What would you do if you needed money and the zoo was closed?  Or if the baboons used it to wipe their butts?  Why not just put it in the bank or invest it in chileh futures?

ANGEL:  You’re about hopeless, Evil!  Try this one…

Good Day Sunshine

Good day sunshine,
Good day sunshine,
Good day sunshine.
I need to laugh, and when the sun is out
I’ve got something I can laugh about,
I feel good, in a special way.
I’m in love and it’s a sunny day.

ANGEL:  Now how can you not draw a pleasant picture of a nice sunny day?

ES:  Hey, you’re right!  Even Jeremy from that Pearl Jam song could do that…

impaled

ANGEL:  OMG!!!  Were you dropped out of the tree when you were a baby squirrel!?!?  Where is your sense of humanity?

ES:  Humanity?  Eh, I’ve never cared much for drawing humans.  Maybe the next song’s better…

Hey Bulldog

Childlike no one understands
Jackknife in your sweaty hands
Some kind of innocence is
Measured out in years
You don’t know what it’s like
To listen to your fears
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
If you’re lonely, you can talk to me

angel02

ANGEL:  Don’t you DARE draw some poor critter getting jackknifed!!!

ES:  Man, you’re taking all of the fun out of this for me!  I was just starting to get on a roll!  OK, fine, I have a nice idea…

talk to me

ES:  Not bad….

angel05

ANGEL:  NO!!!!!  That’s horrible!!!  That’s not what that song’s about at all!!!  I don’t know why I expected you to come up with anything decent to submit… Merby must’ve been stoned when she made you the winner last year!

ES:  Well, I could always try the last one to see if I can come up with something that meets with your delicate sensibilities…

Lovely Rita

Lovely Rita meter maid,
Nothing can come between us,
When it gets dark I tow your heart away.
Standing by a parking meter,
When I caught a glimpse of Rita,
Filling in a ticket in her little white book.
In a cap she looked much older,
And the bag across her shoulder
Made her look a little like a military man.

ANGEL:  Just forget about it, Evil!  I don’t even want to know what deviant thoughts you have in mind for poor Rita!

es07

ES:  Who me!?!?

lovely rita

angelandes

ANGEL:  You are sooooo not gonna win this year!  And even if you do, I’m still gonna kick your ass!

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Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #152 — 3/26/15

comic32615

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Walk This Way

The Fab Four don't jaywalk, and neither should you.

The Fab Four don’t jaywalk, and neither should you.

Welcome to the first Monday of Spring!  I’ll bet you were in too big of a hurry to see the next song in my Top 30 Cover Songs Countdown to even stop and smell the roses today…. or brush the snow off of them.  Did you know it will be Fall when I finally reveal the #1 song.  Yep, this is gonna be a long and winding road… but you know I’m gonna try to make that adventure as fun as possible for you all.  Let’s look at this week’s awesome cover song so you can all proceed to mock my peculiar musical tastes!

top30covers

#28. “Come Together” – Aerosmith

You won’t find much argument from anyone that The Beatles were the greatest rock band of all time, at least unless you ask Kanye West.  The Fab Four pumped out #1 song after #1 song for most of the 1960’s.  Even after they broke up the band for good in 1970, all four members picked up right where they left off and became very successful solo musicians.  It’s no wonder they are still adored by legions of fans half a century after they first burst onto the scene and made rock history.

Ed Sullivan would have been proud!

Ed Sullivan would have been proud!

In 1969, The Beatles released one of their best known albums containing one of the most iconic jacket covers in pop music history.  The first cut from that album is “Come Together,” which is a completely fucked up and nonsensical song… much like everything else the band released during the latter half of their time together.  But between it being the 60’s and them being the fucking Beatles, they could get away with slopping any old crap together and turning it into a classic hit…

Especially if it contains drug references...

Especially if it contains drug references…

In 1978, someone had the insane idea to film a movie built almost entirely around Beatles music, the ill-fated “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band.”  While the film flopped, it featured a number of covers of Beatles songs performed by artists of the 70’s.  Probably the biggest hit of them all is the one I am featuring today in the countdown… Aerosmith’s take on “Come Together”…

This cover by the bad boys from Boston made it to #23 on the pop charts, and was also the last Top 40 song the band would have for another 10 years.  Aerosmith hit the skids for the next decade, and may have gone down in history as just another blip on the radar of the wild and wacky 70’s had it, ironically enough, not been for another group coming along and covering one of their songs…

Go for yours, Steven!

Go for yours, Steven!

In 1986, Run DMC invited Steven Tyler and Joe Perry to accompany them in a hip hop cover of Aerosmith’s 1976 Top 10 hit “Walk This Way.”  Despite my exclusion of this cover from my countdown, it may have been one of the most history changing redo’s ever.  It not only made stars out of the rap trio Run DMC, it was also one of the first hip hop songs to become a pop hit and pave the way for the genre’s explosion in the late 80’s.

Oh, and it also made Aerosmith relevant again… and yeah, they may have just milked that for all it was worth…

Thanks for making me a rock star again, boyz!

This is the same man who sang “Dude Looks Like a Lady?”

From 1988 right on through the 90’s, Aerosmith took advantage of their second wind, becoming even bigger stars than they were during their first go round…. even if all of their songs now sounded the same kind of lame.  Steven Tyler capitalized by suddenly becoming the ugliest rock legend since Keith Richards.  Only in America, folks…

Come back next Monday as the countdown rolls on with one of the more bizarre entries in my entire 30 song compilation…

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The Hopping Dead

Hey!  How's it goin'?

Hey! How’s it goin’?

This week’s Saturday Squirrel photos were kindly submitted to me by Emily, who writes a blog called Nerd in the Brain!  She took a few photos of a cute little sciurine while on a field trip, and sqturday squirrel logowhen she mentioned that to me, I just had to ask to feature them on The Nest.  The first two images she sent me were very normal looking shots of an adorable grey scavenging for food near a tree.  Awwww!

But what caught my eye in the email wasn’t just the pictures, but her mention of a third shot that was so out of focus she chose not to include it…. but it kinda looked like a zombie squirrel.  There was no way I could let that go… my curiosity was totally piqued.  I had to see this freak of nature for myself… so Emily included it in her next response.

Yep…. that was definitely Zombie Squirrel!!!

You should check out his stash of buried brains.

You should check out his stash of buried brains.

Yes, that’s the same squirrel from the first photo!  I absolutely adore photographic “accidents” like this, and have taken advantage of many of my own in past Saturday Squirrel editions.  The almost impossible combination of the photo’s lack of focus, the squirrel’s pre-jumping pose, its gaping maw, and those infamous “tabby stripes” you’ll often see on grey squirrels come together to create this epically awesome picture!  Thanks again Emily for allowing me to share this freaky fun photo with all of my sciurine fans here at The Nest!

Have a great first weekend of Spring, everyone!

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