Make Like A Squirrel And Leaf!

Can't you just leaf me alone?

Can’t you just leaf me alone?

It’s a squirrel in the middle of what looks like the world’s largest leafpile!  How effing sqturday squirrel logoadorable, right?

I mentioned I finally made that winter trip to the park that I’ve long wanted to last Friday, and of the 100+ pics I took while I was there, about half of them were of this fellow you see above.  I’ll call him Wilson… and not because his face is largely obscured like Tim Taylor’s neighbor, but because my hometown park was named after our 28th President, Woodrow Wilson.  I chose to give this very special Saturday Squirrel a name because for the next few Saturdays, we’ll be following Wilson’s adventures that had me snapping so many photos of him, and see just what he plans on doing with that almost unlimited supply of dead foliage he has at his paws!

It's cheaper than buying Metamucil.

It’s cheaper than buying Metamucil.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Posted in Saturday Squirrel | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

How The Internet Works

So Sonny Boy, what has our granddaughter been up to lately... besides taking naked selfies that your father just found on the internet?

So Sonny Boy, what has our granddaughter been up to lately… besides taking naked selfies that your father just found on the internet?

We are reminded time and time again as bloggers that we need to write about the things that the people of the internet want to see.  If I were to take this at face value, then I should only write about possums, Lego squirrels and naked fat men… the subjects of my most “popular” posts of all time.

Well, now I can add a new topic to the list of things The Nest should focus on other than more lame attempts at humor… really bad game show questions!

More useless information than you can shake a selfie stick at...

More useless information than you can shake a selfie stick at…

That’s a screenshot I took just a few minutes ago.  I’m obviously experiencing a rather strange hit spike today, and those hits seem to be focused on my post titled “The $16,000 Question,” which fans of My Millionaire Journey will remember featured the ill-fated glowing potato question that was asked of contestant Ed Toutant on my show.  While the 15th anniversary of that show’s airing passed last Sunday, I thought it was odd to get the sudden jolt today, so for the hell of it (and since Ed still posts there), I mentioned the oddity on my WWTBAM message board.  That’s when one of the posters over there showed me this….

Damn, Ed's a whole lot sexier than I remember him.... er.... her.

Damn, Ed’s a whole lot sexier than I remember him…. er…. her.

If you’d like context (and all the eye candy random trivia you can stand to go with it), that image was posted today in a very informative column on The Chive, which is a website that is read by a slightly larger audience than The Nest since it contains many more pictures of half naked girls than I usually post.  Given that the hits are all coming from search engine referrals, there’s little doubt that this mashup of random facts and modern pinups sparked enough curiosity to be the reason my blog is such a hoppin’ place today.  That, and the fact that apparently some people really were checking out The Chive for educational purposes rather than getting their chick fix on…

Yes, some people really do read it just for the articles.

Yes, some people really do read it just for the articles.

So, there you have it, folks!  Becoming a big hit with the internet really is all about blind luck and being in the wrong place at the right time.  It also never hurts to add a little sex appeal to any trivia tidbits you might want to throw out to impress people…

Knowledge is power!

Knowledge is power!

Posted in Squirrel Droppings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #197 — 2/4/16


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Just A Little Off The Top


Hey Ralph!  Check out this squirrel’s nest!

A very happy Wednesday to you all!  It’s the day The Nest breaks out the dusty album full picture dayof embarrassingly bad photos to tell you another boring story for Picture Day!  Today we’re going to see what happens when a major utility company gets bent over and used like a corporate-owned rain forest by Mother Nature herself!

It occurred to me while I was out driving last week that there is something very odd about the scenery on one of the main streets near where I live that me and the rest of the residents have long taken for granted.  While driving back from a squirrel shoot (Not THAT kind of shoot, you know me better than that) last Friday, I snapped a few quick pics from behind my dirty windshield of the ugly scene.  Can you spot what stands out?

It's either tornado alley, or a giant buzzsaw came through here.

It’s either tornado alley, or a giant buzzsaw came through here.

About 8 years ago, Ameren Electric, which serves the electricity needs of most of the metro St. Louis area, embarked on a major tree trimming venture that had one and only one goal… to prevent weather related power outages.  They weren’t concerned with the aesthetic effects of what their arboreal butchering was going to leave.  They could’ve cared less about how many squirrels they put out on the streets after they lost their nests.  They probably didn’t even give any fucks if the lopsided trees they left behind toppled over and crushed your roof onto you as you slept.  Any limb, branch or twig that was a threat to take down a power line was terminated with extreme prejudice… and with a major series of power lines running down this particular street, the extreme cutting produced some rather surreal looking trees…

The city needed more bonsai trees...

The city needed more bonsai trees anyway…

The tree amputation team finally made it to my neighborhood in September 2012, and I did a post about it at the time.  The photo at the top of today’s post is that cutting crew hard at work decimating my backyard oak tree and any other plant life that was foolish enough to grow near the power lines that run along my ditch.  You shoulda seen what my front yard temporarily looked like when they got done de-vegetating everything along the way…

Proud owner of the world's largest compost heap.

Proud owner of the world’s largest compost heap.

Now, you may be wondering why Ameren was going through all of this trouble and expense in the first place.  Remember when Milli Vanilli lip synched about blaming it on the rain?  Well… this massive tree trimming project could be blamed on the rain… and the wind… and the ice… and the fact that within a span of six months from July 2006 through January 2007, St. Louis got hit with the two biggest thunderstorms and two most massive ice storms we’ve seen in recent history.  That first thunderstorm will hopefully be a future Picture Day topic itself if I can find the pics my Mom took that night while we were at the ballgame.  But needless to say, a large portion of the population spent a very large amount of time in the blazing summer heat and the frigid winter cold without power due to those storms essentially shredding and re-shredding the power grid with each pass.

Only the candle industry was happy about this.

Only the candle industry was happy about this.

So the electric company was forced into drastic measures to ensure they could provide the vital service everyone paid very high prices for them to maintain.  And you know what?  In the three and a half years since the trees in my area were carved up into toothpicks, storm related power outages have become almost extinct!  Short of a car accident or an adventurous kamikaze squirrel, The Nest never goes dark anymore.  So the fucked up shrubbery is a small price to pay for the reliability of the electric service that helps keep this blog up and running for your enjoyment!

Eh... maybe we'd all be better off if this house stayed dark.

Eh… maybe we’d all be better off if I pulled the plug on this residence…

I’ll try not to waste any more precious electricity next week…

Posted in Picture Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

The Songs Are Out There

The music in this vault is going to have to be shipped out to Area 51 for our national security.

The music in this vault is going to have to be shipped out to Area 51 for our national security.

Welcome to the fabulous month of February everyone!  Did you know that a February with five Mondays in it only occurs once every 28 years?  How lucky we all are to get treated to five classic, lost earworms this month courtesy of The Nest’s equine musical curators of the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  For the first of those February songs that will make you shiver, DJ Scratchy and her Sponkie helpers decided to pay tribute to a once-popular TV show that I never watched, but has been recently rebooted in an effort to squeeze more money out of the nostalgia cash cow…

dusty vinyl

The Mecca CD’s tendency to include under the radar songs by under the radar artists was not something that popped up during their recent run in our stores… it’s a practice that was also used to a lesser extent by classic Mecca Radio in the first half of the 2000’s.  One of those eclectic songs that got a fair amount of in-store airplay that caught my ear was a 1999 ditty by a gal named Bree Sharp, who professed her love for one of the co-stars of the hit 90’s drama The X Files with a track titled “David Duchovny”…

Normally when unknown, common folks do fangirl types of stuff like come up with a song about an extremely popular actor, the work is rarely seen by anyone other than your internet social circle who probably wish to keep their distance from you.  But according to the Wiki page for “David Duchovny,” a couple of assistants who worked on The X-Files set discovered the song and made a cheesy video of it to play at a cast party.  That video, which featured stars of every grade from A list on down to celebrity rehab rejects lip synching the words, became an early internet sensation and helped launch Bree Sharp from anonymity into someone only most people have never heard of before.

May as well cash in on your semi-fame while it's still lukewarm...

May as well cash in on your semi-fame while it’s still lukewarm…

There will be more almost forgotten music next week!

Posted in Scratchy's Classics | Tagged , , , , , , | 24 Comments