Anybody Home?

mbrs and angel love the merv

Yeah, I’ve been slacking on the blog posts lately.  I’ve been busy with a few things, and will hopefully have a few new posts and maybe introduce a new character or two next week.  But here’s some ES candy to tide you over until then.  This is another example of what I covered in my previous post, where I work my characters into an already existing photo.  This is Beebs’ cat Merv sitting between the two lovely squirrel girls.  When she used this picture as an avatar over on our message board, I was inspired to hijack it and first put a rather dreadful, quickie addition of MBRS to the portrait…

From the looks of it, I'm afraid Merv and ES will be facing off on the next episode of Maury....

I asked Beebs to send me the full sized pic, and after about 3 hours worth of painstaking work, I got the result you see leading off this post.  As you can see from the date I “inscribed” at the butt end of the branch, this one’s almost two years old…. but it’s still looking marvelous today.  I sent Beebs a copy of the picture and she has it framed on her desk at work, where she says it draws a lot of interesting comments.  She wouldn’t lie to me, would she…..???

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Knock Knock!

squirrel drivers license

I don’t just use blank canvas when creating my artwork.  Sometimes, I like to insert my characters into already existing photographs.  This is a much more challenging prospect, at least in Paint (which I used exclusively until about two months ago), for two reasons.  First off, the fill tool doesn’t work as it would on blank canvas due to the color differentiation in neighboring pixels of a photo.  Second, if you mess up past the point where you can undo your mistake (I can erase the last 10 things I did), you’re pretty much screwed and have to start all over.  It is quite tedious work, but the payoff can be huge.  I believe the only (and one of the best) examples I’ve provided on this blog so far is the picture leading off the post I did on Vandal.

There is a whole series of pics I have used to help ES torment Sprots over the years, but today I want to focus on what has been my longest running gag using my picture doctoring skills.  That would be the squirrel at the screen door series, which has been my avatar for ES on the forum since May of 2008.

peekaboo

Hey baby!

This is the original picture, which Sprots of all people found on the internet, and which I just has to grab for ES to replace his original avatar.  I don’t know who the picture actually originated from, but it’s all over the internet.  It didn’t take long before I used the setup of the picture to tease Sprots that ES was at her back door.  What followed were a number of different additions to the avatar used to capitalize on a topic of the moment over there.  They started off rather simple….

nice jammies sprots

Then I began adding little props, like the infamous “ridiculous looking” mistletoe…

Kiss me!

Adorable bows…

Unwrap me!

And they got crazier…

Say aaaaah!

And scarier…

Boo!!!!

And some were just plain WTF…

Snort!

And my most recent is a bit, um……….

trojan squirrel!

Hide the women and children...... NOW!!!

There are many more squirrel at the screen door pics, but these should give you a taste of how the series has evolved.  And when it ends with a squirrel holding lube and a box of condoms (this year’s Valentine’s Day tribute), it may have done more damage than good for the cause of squirrel awareness.  So until next time, if you hear a scritching at your back door, don’t even open the door to see who it is.  Just fetch the nuclear weaponry and ask questions later…

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Purple Mange

 

The Prince of Rodents

If you have logged on to the internet sometime in the past few days, you may have heard about the guy you see above.  In case you live in a cave that only has access to crappy blogs like this, here is the link to the story of the purple squirrel.  Of course, my friends on my other forum always keep me up to date on the latest sciurine news, so I knew about it a few days ago.  Now there really aren’t many squirrel stories out there that actually interest me, but this one caught my attention because he seemed to be a refugee from my art archive.  I mean, given the many colorful critters I’ve drawn over the past 4 years, certainly at some point I drew a purple squirrel….

Um…. no, actually I haven’t.  The closest I have is this:

He looks awfully blue for a purple squirrel.

That is a slightly doctored version of an avatar I used last February when I ran into a horrific streak of bad luck on a trip to Oklahoma that resulted in everything from getting sick to causing a wreck.  That is ES in the avatar.  The reason he appears purple is that for some reason, and I know not why, the subject of turning ES purple came up in the chatroom a few months ago, and I wanted to do a quick retouch on an old avatar to show off to the others.  But since I was on my laptop, where I rarely do any artwork, I had limited old pictures to work with… and this was the best one to make a purple ES.

Now red is by far my favorite color, with blue a close second.  But I like just about any bright colors, and purple is a guilty pleasure of mine.  That made me dig in the archive to see how often I’ve used the color in my previous artwork, and I was surprised to discover that it wasn’t very often.  One of the reasons for that is when I was doing the original portrait series back in 2008, I was trying for realism (in an anthropomorphic way, of course), and generally used natural colors, both in animal fur and in hair.  Towards the latter half of the series, after too many similar looking characters, I finally began expanding my horizons a bit more…. but for whatever reason, purple didn’t come up over that horizon very often.

Now, there is one of my more frequently drawn secondary characters who does flash the purple, and that would be Buster’s favorite tormentee Holly…

It takes a scavenger to know one.

Holly’s purple hair, which you first got to see in Buster’s introduction, was one of my first attempts at coloring outside the box.  One of these days I’ll give Holly her own post, and I feel bad now for neglecting my only prominent purple creature.  And while Holly stands alone in the violet part of ES’s world,  there are several one-and-done characters who got the purple treatment in their only rendering…

This is the most recent, and one of my favorites from the series of “tattoo” avatars I drew for people on my forum.  Merlin was based on the beloved former dog of one of the gals, and I got extra crazy when designing this character by not just going with purple hair , but two-toning it with blonde on the other side.  Purple and yellow are complimentary colors, and they work doubly well since the canine character herself is black and white… for which any color of hair will go well with.

I have a feeling you're about to experience the worst of it, pal...

Here is a picture I drew for a game I run on the forum where you have to guess the song from the lyrics provided.  The song is “Chelsea Dagger” by The Fratellis, and was requested by the person listed, who we know as megaaddict.  Since the song describes kind of a wild child girl, I wanted to let the imagination run away with me when designing her for the picture, and that almost always seems to take me to the right end of the color spectrum on Paint, where the purplish colors reside.  While Chelsea never crossed over into another picture, she does stand alone as the only actual purple furred character I ever drew and posted…. unless you count this pic I drew for the girl at work who supplied me with my cats.

Or the non-descript groupie of Clem's in the background there.

And then there is my purplest creation of all, a character I was inspired to draw once that I haven’t shared much with anyone, though I may eventually share her story on the blog.  And that would be the weasel Caitlin…

Yes, I am certifiably insane. Why do you ask?

So what have we learned today, other than I need to start drawing more purple characters?  Absolutely nothing, of course.  But you did get to see even more of the crazy crapola that emerges from my warped mind and onto my computer.  Have a great weekend, and don’t forget to visit my store and support a sometimes-purple squirrel!

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Devil Kitty

Hell hath no fury...

Some like it hot, and some just make it hot for others.  Devil Kitty doesn’t take any crap from anyone and tells it like it is.  From her underground cavern (where the temperature is always a comfortable 600 degrees) she monitors the daily activities of the gang, just waiting to stick a pitchfork in a fresh load of BS.  While a devil, she’s not really evil, it just seems that way sometimes…

All squirrels go to Hell...

ES knows better than to mess with the Devil Kitty, but that doesn’t keep him from getting scorched by her hellfire from time to time.  That doesn’t mean that DK doesn’t appreciate what ES brings to the table in the form of his unique talents and personality, but as the other girls in ES’s life know all to well, there comes a time when he just needs to be taught a hard lesson.  MBRS is a natural sidekick for DK with her fiery squirrelsona…. Angel, not so much.

DK has come to be feared, but respected by most of the gang…. though there is one notable exception….

Photo taken from the kitchen of your local Sizzler steakhouse.

Hooly and DK just don’t mix.  Devil Kitty isn’t a fan of Hooly’s self-centered, attention grabbing antics, and Hooly, well, Hooly isn’t a fan of anyone who doesn’t like her.  The two have waged some epic battles in the past, often with ES getting caught up in the middle and ending up burned as a result.  DK and Hooly often keep their distance from each other to preserve world peace and keep World War III from breaking out.  Though that doesn’t keep the impish ES from occasionally stirring the pot…

What's black, white, and red all over?

He is an Evil Squirrel after all…

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The Big Huge Stupendous Extravagant Copyright Protected Game!

Use the Schwartz!

It’s that time of year again.  Time for everyone to gather around the TV and hold a huge, kickass party for something they really couldn’t give a crap about.  Yep, the Super Bowl kicks off today, which is the moment those who began watching the pregame show about 2 weeks ago have been waiting for.  This year the New York Giants and New England Patriots will square off during the few minutes of non-commercial time NBC will allow during their broadcast.  There was a time when even if you didn’t care about the teams that would be playing, the Super Bowl was entertaining to watch because it was the biggest showcase for the cleverest advertisements, which they should be given that the cost of a 30 second Super Bowl ad would buy you half of Central America…

Alas, Super Bowl commercials jumped the shark several years ago.  Ad agencies try too damn hard anymore instead of just going with the flow.  And what’s worse, most of the ads end up out on the internet days if not weeks before game day.  The ad referenced in my pic above is a good example of both…. it wound up on YouTube the week before the Super Bowl and was posted by someone on my forum.  I’m a big fan of cute, but kids generally annoy me, and I was honestly rooting for the car to spring to life in this commercial and run over the little imp.  If I wasn’t clear, I didn’t care for the ad… nor many of the others that aired last year.  I only remember one even drawing a chuckle, and to emphasize my point, I don’t even remember what it was about or who it was for…

And besides, nothing…. I mean NOTHING will ever top this ad that ran during the 2000 game….

bud weis er!

Sorry, dudes.

So anyway, I figured I’d dig into my art archives and share a few of my football related pics.  Nothing extraordinary, but it’s always fun to look at an old picture I drew and recall what inspired me to create it in the first place…

Achoo!

This was the avatar I had up with my account for the Super Bowl last year.  It shows ES blowing his nose into one of Pittsburgh’s famous Terrible Towels as MBRS waves some green pom-pons.  The avatar wasn’t drawn for the Super Bowl, but instead for the AFC championship game 2 weeks earlier, where the Steelers defeated the New York Jets to advance to the Big Game.  We have a small but quite vocal Stillers contingent on our forum, and to say they annoy me would be a #$&@* understatement.  I was laughed at by one for guaranteeing a Steelers victory by dissing the Towel (Or Tahl, or however Pittsburgh natives would say it).  Not being one who believes in curses or jinxes or any such nonsense, and at the urging of Fanny who pointed out that the green pom-pons work just as well for the Packers as they did the Jets, I put it up again on Super Bowl Sunday.  Of course, the Packers defeated the Steelers and silenced the fans of the black and gold… including the one who was kind enough to point out how I was being a jinx to the Steelers’ opponents…

Squirrels get in for free

Here’s an avatar I did back in November 2009, when Sprotsie and a couple others from the forum got together at a Monday Night Football game in Denver between the Broncos and Steelers.  Here we see old school Sprotsie Baby trying to enjoy the game despite the beer guzzling mangy rodent on her lap.  The girls are perched in the laps of her two friends, Tgirl and Peacock (The feathered one wearing the Ben Roethlischeeseburger jersey).  I tortured the heck out of Sprots for months with my Evil Squirrel alter ego saying that he was going to be attending the game with her, so drawing up this scene was a must…

#71

One of our members, who also has her own character who may be revealed later, has a son who plays high school football.  She often included a picture of him in his #71 jersey as her avatar.  When she announced his birthday back in 2010, I drew up MBRS wearing a pink #71 in his honor, ala those shots of Jessica Simpson rooting for Tony Romo that had become popular the season before…

And there have been some tributes for the college football fans…

real rally squirrels     oklahoma sooners

The image on the left was drawn for one of our big Auburn fans before the SEC Championship game in 2010.  The one on the right was inspired by a picture the one and only Ms. Camaro posted of her granddaughter wearing an Oklahoma University cheerleader uniform, with Angel copying her pose as best I could (though someone commented it looked like she had to pee).

And of course, just because I’ll take any opportunity I can get to show it off again….

rainbow bronco

RAINBOW BRONCO!!!!

Enjoy the game everyone, even if the commercials do suck royally…

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Coming Out of the Dark

Early this morning around 3 AM, while I was working on my Groundhog Day post, my power went out.  I nearly killed myself trying to get to the closet where I keep the candles, but got them set up and waited for the light to come back on.  Unfortunately, the only light that came back on was the rising sun.  It was 8 AM and about 10 power flickers later before it finally came back on for good.  Naturally, something like this will only occur on one of my nights off, and since I can’t sleep without the constant drone of a box fan running, I was pretty tired and cranky all day.

But I didn’t write a post just to whine about the power outage ruining my night.  Inspiration comes from boredom, and I wanted to show off a picture I took about 2 hours into the blackout.  But first, let me show you a constant companion who sits atop the TV stand in the living room…

squirrel statue

This is a cheap $10 lawn ornament I bought from Wal-Mart last Spring…. at least it was a cheap $10 lawn ornament.  It used to look like this.  I got out the paints I hadn’t used in almost a year and went to work turning that bland piece of junk that wouldn’t pass as decorative lawn art in Boring, Oregon into the lovely MBRS.  I thought it turned out nice, and when those squirrels went on clearance a few months later, I bought two more intending to turn them into ES and Angel, but they still reside in a plastic bag unpainted.

OK, I didn’t just make this post to show off my neat looking MBRS statue.  THIS is what I made this post for….

You weren't planning on sleeping again anytime soon, were you?

It’s hard to believe that given how big of a wussy I can sometimes be when I’m alone in the dark, that I even had the guts to set this scene up at all.  But I had one of my candles on top of the TV stand, and noticed how it was eerily glowing off of the MBRS figure, and decided to grab my camera and at least have a little spooky fun while there was nothing else to do.  MBRS always did have that look of evil in her eyes, but this here takes the cake.  I don’t think she’ll have any more trouble out of ES for a while.  And how lucky I feel that I usually sleep during the daytime….

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Happy Groundsquirrel Day!

shadow dancing

Many people (myself included) often accuse the greeting card companies of making up holidays solely to pimp their greeting card business.  Do we really need a special day for grandparents, secretaries administrative professionals, or the damned boss?  I work in retail, and it’s already a sin what we’ve done with Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween, and of course, Christmas.  But who is the special interest behind Groundhog Day?  This has to be the most commonly known nonsense holiday in American culture… and yet outside of Punxsutawney, PA, there seems to be nobody there to actually capitalize off of it.

Think about it… nobody gets anyone a Happy Groundhog Day card.  Nobody buys gifts for their kids under the presumption that they were left by Shadow the Groundhog.  Nobody dresses up as their favorite animal to celebrate the fact that winter is half over…

Well, most people anyway...

Nope, you can’t blame the retail industry for this one… although I’m sure they’ve tried to make a moneymaker out of February 2nd and/or tried to get it passed as a “federal holiday” so that they can hold that annual Groundhog Day sale… which promises to be even bigger than the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Sale!  No, this is the fault of a different bastion of evil, the media.

I got you babe

Imagine waking up every morning to this...

In particular, those idiotic morning “news” shows that are little more than fluff TV.  Sure Al Roker may be a lovable, affable guy, but do you want to be getting your weather from someone who travels to Pennsylvania every year to get the long range forecast from some poor rodent who’s rousted from his sleep and hauled out in front of a billion TV cameras by a bunch of weirdos in top hats who probably discuss the good old days before the government stepped in and busted up the steel trusts the other 364 days a year?

WTF? Phil said it was gonna be balmy this February!

And you can bet that without the hordes of media that show up every year, Phil would get to sleep in every February 2nd and not get molested by a bunch of Rich Uncle Pennybags wannabes with cold hands.  Groundhog Day would be about as well known as Arbor Day if TV weathermen didn’t need to resort to entertaining folklore to make up for their lack of skills at actually predicting the weather.  Most TV weather personalities are just pretty faces anyway doing a Copy Cat routine from forecasts being made by real, not ready for television meteorologists…

But at least there’s only six more weeks until your local TV weathersuit tries to balance an egg on end!

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