Tie A Squirrel Tail ‘Round The Old Oak Tree

Hey!  Who ironed my tail while I was asleep?

Hey! Who ironed my tail while I was asleep?

sqturday squirrel logoI didn’t prepare a Saturday Squirrel post yesterday like I’ve been in the habit of doing in advance lately, and I’m more tired this morning than a possum playing real life Frogger… so I just looked through my archive for the first squirrel picture to strike my fancy, and voila!  Here we have a squirrel whose tail seems to be clinging tightly to the limb he’s sitting on… so tightly, that it looks like his tail is actually wrapped around the branch like a scarf.

Here’s another picture of the same squirrel with the same clingy squirrel tail…

Oh great.... I feel sap on my tail.  Now I'm stuck!

Oh great…. I feel sap on my tail. Now I’m stuck!

The flatness of the tail and how it hugs the branch all the way around the bottom looks quite cool!  It’s like a fluffy sciurine Snuggie for the tree!  That is Saturday Squirrel worthy, even if I was rushed to find a photo to feature!

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Mystery Pony Theater 3000

This post has the official Bronyman Cutie Mark of Approval.

This post has the official Bronyman Cutie Mark of Approval.

prompt logoIt’s the funnest day of the week at The Nest…. Friday!  That means it’s time once again for one of my beloved readers to pick up a pointy stick and prompt the squirrel!  The good news is that I gained a couple more prompts over the week to get the amps up to 11… which means this series will last until at least June 19th now!  The bad news is…. there’s still a bunch of you who haven’t joined in on the fun yet!  Come on, it’s quick and painless…. submit a prompt for me via the contact form in this post, and get your day to be my inspiration!  I like a lot of the suggestions so far… and even the more challenging ones should still be a lot of fun once it comes time to put keyboard to editor…

Dammit!!!!  What moron suggested this anyway!

Dammit!!!! What moron suggested this anyway!

Upon looking at the suggestions in my mailbag, this week I decided to pull out the one sent to me by The Cutter.  Cutter’s gravatar stands out for its awesomeness… a silhouette of Rainbow Dash with the word “Brony” written over it.  Cutter adopted the stigma term when he realized just how down he was with the current iteration of My Little Pony due to the incessant viewing of the series by his daughter, The Cutlet.  And naturally, he turned to his fascination when he decided to prompt me…

“It’s gotta involve ponies in some way.”

Well…. (turns around to look at the critter shelf)… I think I can take care of that.  I’ve become quite familiar with the characters through the proliferation of Bronies in the furry art world that I follow, and as it would turn out, I have a small handful of them staring down the bald spot in the back of my head as we speak…

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From left to right, that’s Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Vinyl Scratch (DJ Scratchy as we like to call her at The Nest), and Applejack.  From the cheerful looks on all of their faces, they obviously have no idea what kind of torture I’m about to put them through for this post.  I’m going to have the mares check out what fun things insomniacs can watch on TV at two in the morning on a late Thursday night!  OK gals… let’s dim the lights and see what the boob tube’s playing at this ungodly hour…

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AJ:  Mmmmm, food glorious food!

VINYL: What in the hell kind of name is Wolfgang Puck?  Puck Puck bo Buck, banana banna bo Fu….

TS: That’s not quite the food of the gods, is it Luna?

LUNA: Shiiiit, Celestia couldn’t cook a sinner in boiled oil.  We’d starve at the palace if it weren’t for the hired help.

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TS: Hey, that cutie in the middle looks familiar!

AJ: Oh my gosh!  That’s… that’s….

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VINYL: It’s Joey Fucking McIntyre from New Kids on the Block.  Seriously… if I woke up and saw that at 2 AM, I’d never be able to sleep again.

TS and AJ: Swooooooooooon!

VINYL:  You two are pathetic!  Luna, why don’t you tell them….

LUNA: (panting)

VINYL:  Oh, for Celestia’s sake, put your highness’ tongue back in your highness’ mouth…

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TS: Now there’s a bargain!  A silver dollar for fifty bucks.

LUNA: How stupid mortals must be to buy shit like this at a time when they’re not awake enough to do the math.

AJ: 1988?  That was way back before us ponies got cute!

VINYL: I’m a Seoul Man…. dunna-da-dun-da-dun-da-da, I’m a Seoul Man!

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AJ: I dunno about y’all, but I could definitely go for a less frizzy mane.

LUNA: But it’s only 90% less frizzy.  Who did the calculations on that anyway to determine the exact percentage?

TS: Actually, there’s a formula to figure out frizziness… d(x) = f(x³ – y²) / pi….

VINYL: Nobody asked you, Egghead.

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AJ: Hey Luna!  If we’re all descended from a common pony, why do we all have different DNA?

TS: Mutations

VINYL: You mean like Maury Povich?

LUNA: Why is all of the stupid shit on after the sun goes down?  As the Princess of Night, I demand that only quality television be aired after dark!

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AJ: Because WHO asked?

LUNA: As a goddess, I do not find this to be amusing.

TS: I still have faith in you, Princess… even though you made me into a bad Mecca cake decoration.

VINYL: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer goddesses heads in the morning, I’d hammer goddesses heads in the evening, all over Ponyland!

LUNA: (glares)  Hell will be too good for you, heathen unicorn!

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LUNA: Oooh, only $112.80 for a pair of fucking shoes.

TS: But they’re so cuuuuuuuuuute!

AJ: So are my cowboy boots, and they’ll at least keep me from breaking a hoof next time Big Mac drops a bushel of apples on my foot.

VINYL: That looks like some shit Octavia would wear.  I need to go wake her up…

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VINYL: Ack!  C-SPAN!

AJ: Even the dudes in the background have all nodded off!

TS: The pitcher of water always cracks me up.  Who wants to drink tepid tap water while discussing military capabilities in the Pacific?

LUNA: I feel the magical capabilities in my horn welling up. I’ll change that pitcher to beer…. that’ll make C-SPAN more interesting!

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VINYL: Let’s get physical!  Physical!

LUNA: I got a pair of yoga pants just like that… and I look quite heavenly in them, if I do say so myself.

TS: The dude that’s eying her up is kinda creepy looking… is that a tank top with glowing stars?  He’d get his ass kicked in a real gym for wearing that.

AJ: Why are there so many balls in the background?

VINYL: Heh heh heh!  Balls!

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LUNA: Well….. anypony?

VINYL: Like you wouldn’t know, being all omniscient and shit.

TS: I…. I gotta pee.  I’ll be back….

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AJ: Wow!  I haven’t seen this creature since I was a l’il filly!

LUNA: I thought I banished this fiend to the glue factory back in the 90’s!  I have no words to describe the anguish he put so many young foals through during his heyday.

TS: I love you….. You love me…. hey, don’t hate!  I love Barney!

VINYL: Open the door, get on the floor.  Everybody kill the dinosaur!

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TS: Ummmmm… “School of Rock?”  I think AMC needs to look up the definition of the word “classic”…

VINYL: The acronym doesn’t mean anything anymore.  All cable channels have done the KFC thing now… they’re just letters left over from a past existence that mean absolutely nothing.

LUNA: See – TLC

AJ: Mmmmm, Jack Black’s got my cider boiling.

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LUNA: Well… nothing quite spices up the night like a nice, romantic kiss.

AJ: And all the fun stuff it leads to!

VINYL: I kissed a girl and I liked it…

TS: You probably have before, Scratchy.

VINYL: Just ask yo’ mama, Twi….

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LUNA: Now I know what to get you for your birthday, Scratchy!

TS: Giggle!

LUNA: Expensive, sure, but I could dip into the palace’s treasury…

VINYL: I swear… if anyone gets me some shit from Keith Urban… goddess or not, I will gore somepony with my horn!

AJ: Yeehaw!  We country mares luv ya, Keith!

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VINYL: OK, anyone up on their Brit politics to have any idea what this means?

TS: Given the margin of error, it mathematically means dip diddly squat.  And shouldn’t that be “errour?”

LUNA: Goddesses like myself allow no margin for errour!  This is also why we abhour democracy in our ponydom!

AJ: I wonder who the Others Party is?  5% of the people like their mysterious platform to the rest of the candidates.

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AJ: FORE!!!!

VINYL: FIVE!!!!

TS: Pick it up!  It’s a gimme!

LUNA: I love to see all of the green space we created on this planet be put to such important use as hitting a tiny ball around until you lose it in a hole.

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LUNA: So, if ES had someone pay him to make a post on his blog, he wouldn’t be responsible for the content it contained or the opinions it expressed?

TS: I call bullshit on that, Princess.  What if they were selling faulty transvaginal meshes, or raising money to resurrect Hitler?

VINYL: Then everyone would quit reading his blog, and I could go back to playing decent music rather than shitty covers and shopping muzak.

AJ: The opinions and views expressed by my three unicorn friends do not reflect those of the staff at Evil Squirrel’s Nest.

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LUNA: Dammit, if it isn’t another coin show ripoff!

TS: Wait a minute!  “Kenndy!?”  Hey, maybe it’s a typo that really is worth a fortune!

AJ: Sold out from the mint… yet the shopping channel has beaucoup of them in some secret vault.  At least they have a satin finish.

VINYL: Coins in white satin… never meaning to spend….

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AJ: Is it really theoretically possible to save a child’s life for 92 cents a day?

VINYL: AJ, for the price of a cup of cider, you too can feed a starving child in Bumfuckistan.

TS: What happened to the fat chick who used to do these commercials?

LUNA: I banished her to the same unholy place as the purple dinosaur.  That probably means she’s on another channel right now chowing down on the flies circling some poor waif’s head.

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VINYL: Bum ba bum ba bumpa bum…

AJ: The beat goes on!

VINYL: Bum bum ba bumpa bum…

TS: The beat goes on!

VINYL: Bum bum ba bumpa bum bum bum…

LUNA: Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain!

AJ & TS: La de da de de!

ALL: La de da de da!!!

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AJ: I don’t get this commercial.

TS: That’s because it’s told from the perspective of humans who think that a talking horse is impossible.

VINYL: Oh Celestia!  You mean humans can actually talk!?!?  I thought they just shoved probes up their behind to get them to move their lips on TV…

LUNA: You know, I could sure go for a stud like that right now….

ALL: <3 Siiiiiiiiiiigh……..

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AJ: Is that Alex Trebek pitching life insurance?

LUNA: Don’t forget to phrase your claim in the form of a question.

TS: And yet another geriatric celebrity in the mold of Art Linkletter

VINYL: My life’s in Jeopardy, baby!  Oooooooooooh!

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AJ: Speaking of game shows…

VINYL: That’s Springer!  Good to see he’s still hanging around with trailer trash.

TS: This is that dating show called “Baggage.”  She’s about to find out what her potential dates have wrong with them….

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VINYL:  It’s EVIL SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TS: It can’t be… he couldn’t get a date if every other man on earth dropped dead tomorrow.

AJ: Who else has that many unicorn figurines in his room?

LUNA: 250 unicorn figurines is kinda exaggerating a bit, don’t you think?  I mean, there’s three unicorns here… Rainbow Donkey…. the Sponkies…. George…. the unicorn head….. um….

VINYL: Yep, it’s ES!  Don’t pick him, girl!  You can do better than that!


OK… I’d heard enough out of these four.  Back onto the shelf they went along with their 247 other companions.  The remote was seized, the television was turned off, and another Friday prompt was successfully executed.  Thanks again Cutter for inspiring this mashup of ponies with Beavis & Butthead.  I’ll be back next week to answer to yet another Friday prompt…. maybe yours!

I am quite upset that I got looked over for this challenge!

I am quite upset that I got overlooked for this challenge!

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Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #155 — 4/16/15

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¡Bailamos!

Don Flamenco, five time lightweight champion of Dancing With the NES Characters.

Don Flamenco, five time lightweight champion of Dancing With the NES Characters.

It looks like Lunes…. er, I mean Monday is upon us again, and that means it’s time once again to open DJ Scratchy’s musical vault and pull out another muy beuno song for The Nest’s Top 30 Cover Songs countdown!  You don’t have to be Speedy Gonzalez to have noticed that there just may be a Latin flavor to this week’s post… so let’s break out the Doritos and fire up the mariachi band!  ¡Andale!

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#25. “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” – Santa Esmeralda

Shortly after The Beatles stormed their way into the hearts of America via The Ed Sullivan Show, numerous other UK bands began taking over our radio airwaves, and there wasn’t a thing our colonial army of disc jockeys could do to stop this British Invasion.  One of those groups that found success in the States in the mid 60’s was The Animals.

Yeah... I would say Animals was a pretty good description of the band.

Yeah… I would say Animals was a pretty good description of the band.

The Animals breakthrough hit was their version of “House of the Rising Sun,” which itself is actually a cover of an ancient folk song out of New Orleans.  Since Eric Burdon and his bunch brought that song into the spotlight in 1964, it has been one of the most covered songs in rock, with countless versions in nearly all genres to be found.  Despite me not being all that enamored with the iconic Animals version, none of the covers I’ve heard have really won me over either…

Sorry, Esteban.  You're not the Latin influence we seek.

Sorry, Esteban. You’re not the Latin influence we seek.

But The Animals had another hit that I like much better than “Rising Sun,” and that would be “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.”  Of course, that would be the song that would get the awesome cover version in the disco-laden 70’s.

Everything sounds better with a disco beat!

Everything sounds better with a disco beat!

Santa Esmeralda was not one of Columbus’ ships, it was a French band that took classic songs and infused them with disco beats and Latin flavor.  Their first hit, and the only charting song they released with their original lead singer Leroy Gomez, was this awesome cover of “Misunderstood”…

Doesn’t that just want to make you get up and lambada?

On top of police cars, even!

On top of police cars, even!

In an effort to capitalize on what worked for them the first time, Santa Esmeralda followed up that hit by covering…. what else, “House of the Rising Sun.”  It sounds a lot like their previous attempt, just shittier.  Seriously, can anyone provide a take on this song without screaming like their microphone is broken?

Sing it, Howard Dean!!!

Sing it, Howard Dean!!!

Well, it’s time to go from fiesta to siesta.  Wake me up in 168 hours when it’s time to present the 24th greatest cover song of all time…

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What Up Dawg?

Yo mutt!!!  Up here!!!

Yo mutt!!! Up here!!!

sqturday squirrel logoCats may be the most popular “enemy” of dogs, but you can bet your last Milkbone that squirrels are not too far down the list of canine adversaries.  Bring a dog and a squirrel together, and you will have hours and hours of chasing, taunting, comical fun…. assuming it doesn’t devolve into a bloodbath.

Today’s guest Saturday Squirrel photos were sent to me by one of my message board friends Nancy Christy, who I’ve met in person several times at the Oklahoma gathering several of us have attended the past few years.  While on a stroll with her beloved dog Josie, the two passed this leering squirrel sitting on top of the fence.  No doubt, that squirrel was calling Josie every name in the book… just daring her to try and catch him…

Just stay right there so I can eat you, Mr. Squirrel!

Just stay right there so I can eat you, Mr. Squirrel!

The squirrel succeeded in getting Josie’s attention, and she was off and running, ready to chase the nasty varmint down the fence…

Retreat!  Retreat!!!

Retreat! Retreat!!!

The ever eager Josie finally charged directly at the squirrel, causing him to reverse course and eventually flee into a nearby tree.  But not before he successfully irritated yet another poor little pooch.  One of these days, he might not be so lucky….

Thank you Nancy for sharing these pictures and for allowing me to feature them on my blog!  And I know Josie, who already believes she is a superstar, will be pleased with gaining more exposure to her adoring public…

Have a great weekend everybody!

 

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