That Look

Dafuq is that dude doing?

Having taken a lot of pictures of squirrels in trees over the past few years, I am more than used to sights like the one you see in today’s featured photo.  Since the squirrels of my local park are not tame, they typically scatter when they realize I’m approaching and usually scurry up the closest tree.  But once they reach a place where they feel relatively safe, out pokes the head and I get that look.

As a species that is more prey than predator, squirrels have to be aware of their surroundings at all time in order to survive this cold, cruel world… and it is that hyper state of alert that accounts for much of that look.  But there’s also a tinge of genuine curiosity in that look which leads to what I consider to be a squirrel’s deer-in-the-headlights reaction, or a non-reaction, as it actually is since they will rarely flinch once they fixate on me.  He has to be wondering what in the hell I’m doing, why I’m apparently so fascinated with him and just what my intentions are with that scary black box I have up to my face.

I have no way to communicate to the poor critter that I only want to capture his pretty face for a blog post.  But that’s OK, because squirrels are so adorable when they are trying to make heads or tails out of a strange situation.  And this week’s Saturday Squirrel definitely has the look….

That look.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #264 — 5/18/17

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Holy Hot Dog!

There are worse jobs than dressing up as a hot dog. Like being the person who has to escort the hot dog.

Welcome to the Wednesday feature I seem to do only when I feel like it now, Picture Day at The Nest!  Inspired by one of the comments on yesterday’s A to Z post that paid tribute to the strange letter aitch, I decided to dig out one of the deeply buried “treasures” of my critter populated shelf that I’ve never allowed to star on my blog before.

The title of this post was the exact exclamation made by Quirky Girl in response to the photo you see above of a rather awkward looking hot dog mascot I took a picture of at Progressive Field in 2009.  Onion, as she is called (Yes, there are female hot dogs you know), is one of the three anthropomorphic hot dogs that race (or raced, I have no idea if they still do it) at Cleveland Indians games.  If you’ve gone to a professional sporting event over the past two decades or so, you’ve probably encountered those booths on the concourse where for the small price of providing your personal information on a card (which would never be used to put you on a junk mail marketing list of course!), you can win some really tacky gift.  I gave a bunch of fake information did that before one of the games I saw there and walked away with this…

If this isn’t an oddball, I don’t know what is.

That is the stuffie version of Onion, and as you can see on her right arm, she even carries the purse Quirky Girl took note of that no doubt contains pictures of her little Vienna sausages, ketchup and mustard makeup, and assorted bun-length feminine hygiene products.  So what does our wienerette look like from the back, you’re wondering….

This glorified chew toy is sponsored by Sugardale, makers of fine quality mixed-species meats.

Other than being, well…….. too weird for even The Nest, the fact that she’s difficult to have sit upright is among the reasons you’ll probably never see her in a future episode of Shelf Critter Theatre.  Well, that and the reality that I employ too many creepy, predatory critters who might want to do more than just nibble on her ends…

Hey there, sweat meat! Mind if I put my hot dog in your bun?

Damn, I actually miss putting together those fucked up SCT’s….

Sorry, dude, but I’m kinda hogging the stage right now.

I may or may not have another plump and juicy photo for you to eat up next Wednesday….

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H Is For…

It’s Tuesday again, so that means we’re bringing back everyone’s favorite alphabet game since Hangman became politically incorrect.  So here’s edition number eight of The Nest’s Photography A to Z challenge, and this time we really are going to hell with the letter H!  While I go digging through my archive for pixellated etas, you can read my two simple rules for the umpteenth time…

  • Only photos I took myself will be used.
  • All photos used will have been taken without any thought given to this challenge.

OK, are you ready?  Let’s see where the letter H and my camera crossed paths in the past.  And don’t worry, I don’t have any photos of hemorrhoids…

Sure I just used this photo on Saturday, but it’s a squirrel on a HILL, so I can use it again!

My new HOUSE shortly after I signed my life away purchasing it 8 years ago yesterday.  It’s weird to see it without the ever-present collection of dead leaves that have collected all around the perimeter…

Mitzi modeling the tocque HAT that was knitted by my loyal follower Fanny.

This was the one and only photo of a HYENA I was able to get on my visit to the zoo last year.  Alas, I don’t have the same luck as my Mom does taking pictures of yeens…

Apparently I’ve never taken a picture of a real HORSE before, so you’ll have to make do with the Texas Rangers mascot.  I have no idea what his name is, and I don’t want to know.  Come to think of it, he looks like ALF with a mohawk…

Gigantic chunk of HAIL that fell back in a nasty April 2012 storm… fittingly compared with a Travis HAFNER batting practice HOMERUN

A neighbor’s yard all decked out for HALLOWEEN.  Curiously, they never had a single bit of decoration for Christmas…

That is a classic HOOK ECHO that you never want to see on your local weather radar… as it is usually a sign of a potential tornado.

Nice HAIR, dude…

The main entrance of my HOTEL in the suburbs of Cleveland.

This walking HOT DOG is one of the three who race (at least at the time I was there) at Cleveland Indians ballgames.  I actually have a plush of her I won in some stupid contest there, which you’ve never seen before because it’s too hideous for even Shelf Critter Theatre…

My Oklahoma friend’s greyhound Annie HIDING under a blanket.

HISSY FIT sign I bought at a store in Pittsburgh because it reminded me of Spilly.

A HARDWARE store in Squirrel Hill.

And if you made it through all of these H’s without huffing and puffing… then feel free to take a dip in my luxurious HOT TUB that was an unexpected perk of my hotel room in Detroit.  Not all at once now…… people will talk.

Come back next Tuesday to watch me completely fail my I exam…

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Mom Rocks!

Straight outta Hell, mofo!

I hope all you mothers have recovered from that one special day each year where you’re not expected to do everything for everyone.  Just in case you’re still hung over from the wine or possibly poisoned by that breakfast in bed, The Nest is gonna extend your party day with a real rockin’ classic!  That’s because it’s Monday, and it’s time for us to open up that album full of embarrassing memories we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s presiding over Headbanger’s Ball this week as the coolest aunt ever, playing a song the Sponkies’ mom would never let them listen to.  It’s time to tie your mother down….

As a child of the 80’s, it’s a given that I pretty much have to like heavy metal… whether it’s AC/DC grinding out another rocker through the melodic voice of Brian Johnson, or Poison showing us how pretty they can be when they borrow their sister’s Caboodle… the hard rocking sound was alright with my generation and is alright by me.  The more extreme rock that came to be one of the predominant genres of the 90’s though….. it’s more ear bleeding than earworm.  I just can’t get down with that sickness…

At least Disturbed taught these guys how to properly do “The Sound of Silence

But I don’t think there is a musical genre out there that is totally shut out in my collection of tin ear favorites.  My Beavis & Butthead days introduced me to one such bonafide headbanger that despite the explosive guitars and 69,000 decibel shouting of the lead singer has nevertheless become one of my favorite guilty pleasures.  While everyone knows Metallica and Iron Maiden… Danzig was right there with them in the underground movement that redirected the path heavy metal was taking towards glam rock in the 80’s and made it sound more like Black Sabbath on steroids.

Steroids may be the only thing Ozzy wasn’t taking back in the day.

In 1988, the first single Danzig released from their debut album was a poignant little song appropriately called “Mother.”  The original video they shot for it was too controversial for MTV, and that’s what I’m linking to for today’s DVA post.  So be warned, if Satanism disturbs you, you might want to go look up a Pat Boone video instead.

And please remember that famous legal disclaimer… no animals were harmed in the making of this video.  Seriously…

The chicken sacrifice scene was edited out of this video when it got played on VH-1 Classic a decade ago… and I didn’t even know it existed until the first time I watched this on YouTube a few years ago.

Don’t worry…. you’re safe. At least until you end up on my plate at KFC.

Also, props to lead wailer Glenn Danzig for being able to shout at the top of his lungs during a metal song without sounding like fucking Cookie Monster.  Those bands that followed in Danzig’s footsteps could learn a thing or two about getting your message across loud and clear without sounding like a honey badger has its teeth clamped down on your nuts…

Above: Every extreme rock band lead singer of the past 20 years…

The original (and best) version of “Mother” did not chart at all when it was first released.  But it was remixed after a live recording of the song became a minor hit (#43) in 1993.  Fittingly, that was also the same year the song’s inspiration became the second most important person in the free world.  Yep, “Mother” was a response to the infamous parental advisory ratings that started getting slapped on album covers in the late 80’s so that children would not buy a Megadeth CD expecting sunshine and unicorns only to discover it’s the fucking devil’s music.  And the leader of that inconvenient revolution was the wife of this world famous morality enforcer…

Slap an EXPLICIT CONTENT label on this blog! And make sure it’s printed on recycled pixels!

I’ll be back next week with another mother of a lost song…

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