Sexy And Seventeen

This week’s earworm is Pedobear Approved.

Have you been feeling the crush of your boring and mundane life, hoping for something sweet to put a cavity filled smile back on your face?  Well, forget about Pay Day, because the calendar says Monday, and that’s awesome!  Because it’s the day The Nest prepares to unwrap another expired fun-sized hit out of that malfunctioning vending machine of ear candy we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s doing her best Sammy Davis, Jr. impersonation… ready to give you some sugar that is sure to make you smack your lips, while the Sponkies are busy bouncing off the walls after eating a few too many Skittles.  It’s time to feel like a nut…

The late 80’s were rife with bands that played something resembling heavy metal while looking like they just stepped out of a beauty salon.  While a number of those dudes who looked like a lady are still rightly mocked to this day, perhaps none quite achieved the level of almost instant lameness that an outfit by the name of Winger did.  Forever associated with the wannabe cool kid Stewart Stevenson in the iconic 90’s cartoon Beavis and Butthead, Winger managed to fall out of public favor faster than a member of the Trump Administration… becoming the unofficial whipping boy of the soon-to-be disowned hair metal movement.  Even the person who wrote their Wiki article couldn’t help but get a jab in the second line by stating, “Winger almost gained popularity during the late 1980s and early 1990s.”  Damn, and Justin Beaver thinks everyone hates him…

Hell, even Stewart can’t stand Da Biebs…

Well, we here at The Nest would like to tell all the Winger haters out there to go get themselves fucked with a mascara brush.  They may not have been the second coming of The Beatles, or even Starland Vocal Band… but they at least recorded one of the greatest rock anthems about jailbait to ever put fathers all across America on high alert.  Here’s Winger’s 1989 magnum opus, “Seventeen”…

It’s hard to believe “Seventeen” couldn’t even make it to that spot on the Billboard Hot 100… peaking at a mediocre #26.  While the MTV video helped turn this song into the semi-hit it became… the creepy, ultra bright smile Kip Winger flashes far too often throughout this four minutes of utter schlock while wearing nowhere near enough shirt undoubtedly led to all of the image problems the band would suffer through while they were also getting their asses handed to them by the grunge movement.  At least Kip showed us all that he makes a believable predator…

Why don’t you have a seat over there, loser!

I’ll be back next Monday with another underrated act of lameness, if I can make bail…

Posted in Dusty Vinyl Archive | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments


This picture just says it all, doesn’t it?

I’m, sure when this squirrel was younger, so much younger than today…. he never needed anybody’s help in any way.  But now he’s fallen into this trash can and is feeling not so self assured.  I think you’ll find he’s changed his mind and opened up the door for some assistance from his predicament.

Won’t you come to the rescue of this week’s unfortunate Saturday Squirrel before his tail ends up vanishing in the haze?  I’m sure he’d appreciate you being around…

Have a fab weekend everyone!

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Retro Nest Comic – July 26, 2012

As hot as it has been the last week or so, it’s hard to believe just five summers ago it was even hotter.  A month and a half of daily highs in the 100’s may sound bad, but at least it was dry as a bone in 2012, so the air just baked you rather than suck the life right out of your body.  100 and muggy like we have right now is weather you can’t even breathe in…

And of course, that epic heat wave fried my brain so much that it inspired an early comic or two.  This was lucky Comic #13

Ol’ Winnie the flying squirrel never really caught on as a character.  I think he was last seen as Sully and Wiki’s baseball coach…

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Reeling In The Years

I think I’ll schedule this to post on July 39th…

As you may remember, I celebrated had a birthday on the 13th last week.  I have a sister whose birthday is also on July 13th.  She was born on my fifth birthday.  It is not common at all for non-twin siblings to share a birthday…. think about it.  The average American family has something like 2.1 children, and there are 365.25 possible birthdays out there.  I’m too stupid to try and figure out that kind of probability math, but shared sibling birthdays are obviously a rare occurrence for those who didn’t also share a womb…

Probably at least as rare as having exactly 2.1 children.

Making the birthday match between me and Sis #2 even freakier is the fact that we were both born on a Sunday.  That’s a crazy kind of coincidence there.  So crazy, in fact, that it piqued my interest in how our Gregorian calendar cycles around and around through the years.  How often do certain dates reoccur on the same days of the week, and is there a pattern that guides them as they gradually shift to the right on our calendars each ensuing year?  These are the kind of things that stir about in your brain when you are completely withdrawn from the kind of social life most normal teenagers enjoy…

Yeah mom, I’m smoking in your basement. Just go back upstairs and bring me another fucking Hot Pocket!

I got to thinking about this again this morning because today is Wednesday July 19th… a day/date combination that likely means less than zero to you, but that is indelibly burned into the captain’s log of my mind thanks to the freak storm from hell I had a front row seat to… one of those significant events that locals will still be telling their great grandkids about 80 years from now when you’ll be able to control the weather with an app.  This is the first time July 19 has fallen on hump day since 2006…. 11 years ago.

So wait… me and my birthday sharing sister can be born on the same day five years apart, and yet we have this instance where it takes 11 years to get that same kind of synergy between day and date?  What the fuck is up with that?

My thoughts exactly, Scary German Guy.

I love it when I can reuse an image without having to change the caption

It’s hard to believe that in over five years of blogging that I have yet to share my knowledge of the beautifully symmetrical 28 year cycle our calendar incessantly fails to repeat (at least in our lifetimes) time and time again.  Maybe that’s because I know that drawings of possums getting disemboweled and playing obscurely shitty earworms are the kinds of things that the average person will at least take the time to check out before they carefully scan for the floating unfollow button.  Nobody wants to listen to someone who is extremely geeked up about some subject the rest of the world gives absolutely no fucks about ramble on and on about things like symmetrical beauty and day/date cycles, after all….

Also known as, the Ben Randall phenomenon

Well, that’s just too damn bad then….. because you’re going to listen to my nerdy ejaculations about the calendar cycle today, and you’re damn well going to like it!!!!

Alrighty then…. let’s begin!

There are 365 days in a normal year, which divides into seven with a remainder of one.  This is why, in most years, the dates will universally creep forward one day later.  My birthday was on a Thursday this year… next year it will be on Friday the 13th.  Woohoo!  And, for the purposes of pretty much every adult alive today, every fourth year will have that extra added bonus we like to call leap day.  After each occurrence of February 29th, the next 365 days will all bump forward TWO days of the week due to the additional day.  Are we clear so far?

I’m leaping for higher ground as you speak…

Now, let’s take the year 2017 since it just conveniently happens to be that year right now.  For the sake of this post, let’s pretend you wanted to know what the next year will be when July 19 returns to falling on Wednesday.  Using the information we learned above….

2017 – Wed
2018 – Thu
2019 – Fri
2020 (Leap year) – Sun
2021 – Mon
2022 – Tue
2023 – Wed!

So, in six years we will see the year 2017 repeat all over again.  Well, maybe not the events of this year…. but at least the days will line up all nice and perty again.

Probably won’t make it to see another Wednesday July 19th.

OK, that’s a six year jump.  What about the next time after that when we get a Wed. July 19?

2024 (Leap year) – Fri
2025 – Sat
2026 – Sun
2027 – Mon
2028 (Leap year) – Wed!

Hey, only five years this time!  And this exactly how me and my sister wound up both being born on a Sunday… as I was born in 1975 (a year before a leap year, just like 2023) and she was born in 1980 (A leap year, just like 2028).

Shall we continue?

2029 – Thu
2030 – Fri
2031 – Sat
2032 (Leap year) – Mon
2033 – Tue
2034 – Wed!

And we get another six year jump!  I’ll bet you know what’s coming next…

You only wish…

2035 – Thu
2036 (Leap year) – Sat
2037 – Sun
2038 – Mon
2039 – Tue
2040 (Leap year) – Thu
2041 – Fri
2042 – Sat
2043 – Sun
2044 (Leap year) – Tue
2045 – WED!!!!

Yep, there’s the 11 year jump that was also present between 2006 and 2017.  Once again, it isn’t just dumb luck that both starting years (2006, 2034) were even non-leap years and both closing years (2017, 2045) are years after a leap year.  There’s a definite pattern here…

No, not the test pattern you wish was on this blog instead…

SIX – FIVE – SIX – ELEVEN!  Which number you use to go forward or backward to find the next year with that same pattern of days depends on which type of year you are starting with….

  • Year AFTER a leap year (Y1)- go forward six years (Y3) or backward eleven (Y2)
  • Even NON-leap year (Y2) – go forward eleven years (Y1) or backward six (Y4)
  • Year BEFORE a leap year (Y3) – go forward five years (Y4) or backward six (Y1)
  • Leap Year (Y4) – go forward six years (Y2) or backward five (Y3)

You need to think of “years” as running from March – February for any calculation involving a leap year to “make sense”…

doctor sprots

Somehow, calculus was much easier than this…

By the way… 6 + 5 + 6 + 11 = 28… which not too coincidentally is also the result of seven (Number of days in a week) times four (The leap year period).  Yes, the calendar repeats every 28 years between 1901 and 2099!  If you aren’t sure what day of the week you were born on, wait until your 28th birthday!  Or, for us mature types, your 56th will do.  And yes, even your 84th birthday is guaranteed to fall on the day of the week you were born!

Happy 112th birthday Aunt Edna! You were born on a Wednesday! The same day the camels got off the ark…

And here’s where that beautiful symmetry jazz I was foaming about comes in…. in ANY span of 28 years during the 20th and 21st centuries, every date in the calendar will fall on each day of the week EXACTLY four times (One time for February 29th, which recedes “backwards” two days with each occurrence).  How cool is that?

Even early 80’s Falco thinks that’s too cool for him!

And now that you know the 6-5-6-11 pattern, you can amaze your friends by letting them know exactly which four years this very day and date will meet up in again!  Or the past years it had previously paired up in!  If you’re one of those people whose grey matter is a vast wasteland of day/date combos from the past, it’s even possible to easily calculate the day of the week any day between 1901 and 2099 happened in your head simply using multiples of 28 and 6-5-6-11ing your way through the years!  With this nifty trick you learned today, it’s a cinch you’ll be the life of the party!

Or (+5) 2004, or (+6) 2010, or (+11) 2021, or (+6)….

Posted in Squirrel Droppings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

Q Is For…

It’s time for Maria to take another letter, as Tuesday is upon us again.  That’s the day The Nest brushes up on the darker side of the alphabet with my Photography A to Z challenge I’ve been torturing myself with this year.  And no doubt, this is one of the editions you have so been waiting for, as I finally have to tackle a letter that Noah Webster must’ve snuck into the ABC’s while he was drunk on phonics…. the letter Q!  You know, that tile in Scrabble that is only useful for watching your little brother choke to death on unless you happen to draw one of the four U’s with it.  Yeah, this is gonna be a blast.  While I go load up some cheat codes, why don’t you take another look at the two simple rules for this contest.  Brush up, because there will be a quiz later on…

  • Only photos I took myself will be used.
  • All photos used will have been taken without any thought given to this challenge.

Sigh…… let’s see how Qute and Qreative I can get with this….

Lovely squirrel QUILT made by one of my friends on the message board a few years ago.  This was actually her second attempt to send it to me…. the first one got lost in the mail, never to be seen again.

My 52 ounce mug from QUIKTRIP, which has been refilled with thousands of fountain sodas over the years, which have added hundreds of pounds to my frame….

QUICKEN LOANS ARENA in Cleveland, Ohio… home to the NBA Cavaliers and probably the World Series of Cornholing.  One of the worst corporate named sports venues out there…

I already used this photo for my K post.  And now, equal time for the QUEEN!

Detroit Tigers left fielder QUINTIN BERRY throws a ball to some fans in the stands.  Q didn’t have much of a career, so it was merely a case of good timing in my 2012 Detroit trip that he wound up in my archive…

QUIET RIOT‘s epic 1983 hit “Cum On Feel The Noize” playing on the satellite radio in my Mom’s truck.  I always knew this waste of pixels would come in handy some day…. and now I think I need to stash it for X as well.

This squirrel is so QUICK that it jumped into another dimension!

This is what they call a trick QUESTIONThey’ve both done it….

Muddy QUAGMIRE my backyard was turned into as collateral damage in the city’s ditch cleaning effort seven years ago.

And if you made it through this post that skirted the borders of what can legally be called Q words, then my merry gang of QUEER little critters would like to give a big cheer for you!  I’m pretty sure they lock people up for posting photos like this… so I better QUIT while I’m ahead.

Come back next Tuesday and we’ll talk like a pirate with the letter RRRRRRRR…

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