Weekend Threesome – 12/5/21

‘Tis the season for giving, and The Nest has a trio of early presents for you in this Sunday’s Weekend Threesome!  Sorry, but I didn’t save any of the receipts…

Another ad on Mecca Radio that I hear several times a night has caught my ear in a couple of head slapping ways.  It’s for our protection policy that can be purchased with any new phone, and the commercial starts with a few holiday themed scenarios where one may “accidentally” damage their smartphone when they shouldn’t have it out in the first place….. like (I am NOT making this up) while having a snowball fight!

I can’t imagine this was an issue back in Rockwell’s day.

While there’s nothing morally wrong with Mecca taking advantage of criminally stupid people, as a smartphone hater, it irritates me that such a problem exists to even have ads like that in the first place.  But even more WTF inducing is the line it ends on…

“Protect it today
Enjoy it for years!”

Given that cellphones in this day and age are already ticking time bombs of obsolescence from the very moment they’re activated…. who exactly is going to “enjoy” their smartphone “for years” even if it doesn’t get pelted by your bratty cousin with a snowball?

Maybe I do! Trading up is so overrated!

While going through the answers other Share Your World players gave to my questions this past week, I really enjoyed the one Julz provided to the alternative snack for Santa query.  She said her family never put milk out for Santa, but rather a beer or glass of Scotch instead!  This cracked me up because it’s just the kind of oddball thing my family would have done if it weren’t for the fact that my parents rarely drank alcohol (or that my Dad usually had to work that night anyway)…

Overnight secutiry guards don’t get holidays.

And it made me wish I’d asked for any offbeat holiday traditions in the family as Santa’s question instead!  I certainly had one I could relate… and those who’ve followed my blog for a while probably already know what it is, as it used be (and kinda still is) a running gag here.

My Mom never bought gift boxes.  If something couldn’t be just wrapped, it got put into some other empty box in the house and that was wrapped.  The boxes my Dad’s syringes came in (he was diabetic) were a frequently used impromptu gift box.  But with five females in the house, there was another box that got emptied a lot, and it was a virtual lock somebody was getting a gift inside of one each and every Christmas morning…

Take care not to get toxic shock syndrome from your gift!

So for those not in the know, whenever you see me joke about putting things in tampon boxes on my blog, now you’ll know you can thank my Mom’s wacky holiday tradition for that reference!

Friday was the first walk I got in since Thanksgiving (and I was very thankful for the days off where it was in the low 70’s each day!), and I made sure to bring my camera along because I was curious if this guy….

Had gotten a makeover yet.

Yep….

Santa could use more milk and cookies… and scotch.

I hope they keep it up for Valentine’s Day and dress him up as Cupid…

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The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 5

On the fifth day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…

Five golden kids!

SQUIRREL DAD: Aw, aren’t our children so sweet?

SQUIRREL MOM: It’s all an act!  I know they’ve been up to no good.

SQUIRREL DAD: Don’t you think our precious offspring should get the benefit of the doubt, dear?

SQUIRREL MOM: (Whips out her taser) I shoot first and assess innocence later….

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP!!!!!!!

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They Never Learn

Why should I listen to you anyway?

Remember a few weeks ago when I featured some pictures of a squirrel at the park chomping down on one of those spiky sweet gum balls?  And I tried to warn all squirrels not to be tempted by the prickly treats for fear of all the internal damage it seemed they’d so?

Well, this squirrel from my park visit on Thursday either didn’t read that post, or chose not to heed my advice.  There’s a nice close up of him with nature’s landmine between his teeth.

Good luck with your snack, Mr. Saturday Squirrel.  But don’t say I didn’t warn you if your esophagus should spring a leak…

Have a great weekend everyone!

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The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 4

On the fourth day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…

Four calling frauds!

TROLL: …yes and my routing number is 8675309.  Yeah, just like the song!

BUB: Did you just give out your checking account information over the phone?

TROLL: Yeah!  My car warranty is about to expire!  And you know I can’t afford costly repairs on my unemployment wages!

BUB: Since when do you have a car?

TROLL: Obviously I have a car if my car warranty is about to expire, dumbass!  Why else would an unknown number bother calling me in the first place?  Oh, and now that I’ve blown all my jack re-upping the warranty…. mind if I bum a cigarette off you?

BUB: Sorry, but you’re a spam risk.  *CLICK!*

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The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 3

On the third day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…

Three French…. words.

SANTA: Just three!?!?  George Carlin said there were seven of them, and that ain’t even close to enough profanity to get me through this fucking holiday!

SEYMOUR: (blushing) Santa!  You need to mind your French!  There are children out there!

SANTA: The children can kiss my big elfish ass!  Besides, I know what kind of shitty music they’ve been asking for, so I’m pretty sure those little bastards already know all the goddamned naughty words!

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEALLLLLLL!!!!!!

SANTA: Now there’s something that should be fucking censored from our tender ears!

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