Like me, I’ll bet you can’t wait to wake up each morning to see what’s behind the next door in The Nest’s holiday surprise showcase, the Shelf Critter Advent Calendar! Actually, that wouldn’t be like me since I work nights. But regardless (or irregardless, if you enjoy using ticking off grammar nazis), it’s time to see if there’s heaven on the seventh door, or if it will instead be a day that will live in infamy….
Hey, it’s The Nest’s original fucked up mess, Sparklepony!
SPARKLEPONY: Excuse me!?!?
Nothing personal, of course. Just commenting on your trashy look. So, what does Christmas mean to a high class gal like you?
SPARKLEPONY: Christmas means getting showered in all kinds of expensive and lavish gifts from those who truly love me! Cucci purses. Designer high heels…
Ummmm, Debbie Gibson cologne? A couch pillow? A bar of soap!?!? And is the gaudy bauble on that ring even real? I don’t see anything expensive and lavish there…
SPARKLEPONY: Of course you don’t, because I live around a bunch of ungrateful and cheap bastards who do their Christmas shopping in the last minute gift aisle! My own spawn bought me most of this garbage!
Do you even give the Sponkies an allowance?
SPARKLEPONY: That’s besides the point! Haven’t they heard of credit cards? And that hunk of glass came from my dear, beloved hubby… who will be sleeping with the possums behind the shed all winter to pay for this mistake! And to think I bought them all fancy $5 White Castle gift cards…
Ummmm…. isn’t it supposed to be the thought that counts?
SPARKLEPONY: What are you talking about? These are some of the most thoughtless gifts I’ve ever gotten!