Mega Zillions

It's a bitch, squirrel.

Lottery: (noun) definition-  a tax on the stupid.

Mega Millions, one of the two major nationwide lotteries run in the United States, has not been won in approximately 7 years.  The jackpot has rolled over, and rolled over, and continues to roll over more often than your dog.  The latest estimate for Friday’s drawing now has the jackpot over $500,000,000…… that’s half a billion freaking dollars!  To give you an idea of how much money that is, if you stamped it all and entered it into Where’s George, you would have it all entered and stamped by about the time the sun exploded into a red giant if you hurried.

Enter, Mark, Scritch!

But think about that for a minute.  Sure, everyone dreams of having that much money, but would you seriously want to become one of the richest people in America overnight?  That’s a dangerous amount of money for someone to have attached to their name who doesn’t already live in a fortress way outside of civilization.  One of the members of my forum brought up this point last night, and I came up with a simple solution to break that jackpot down to something a bit more manageable…. find a bunch of your closest friends and claim jointly!

Or else hire this guy to keep away the riffraff...

I am hereby volunteering to help out anyone out there who happens to win Friday night’s jackpot by being a co-claimant of your ticket.  $5,000,000 is fine, I’ll gladly take a 1% split.

ES cares about your personal well-being!

So if you should find yourself half a billion dollars richer Friday night, just hit the Contact Me page up there on the header.  You will thank me and ES later….


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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