Look What The Squirrel Dragged In

squirrel drivers license

Only 13 more years to go before you can get a legal drink… how long do squirrels live again?

It’s a very special day at The Nest… and no, not just because it’s Music Monday again and you’re about to be treated to another classic earworm from the Dusty Vinyl Archive.  Today also happens to be the 8th birthday of my signature critter Evil Squirrel!  He doesn’t look a day over seven and a half… nor does he look anything like the picture on his fake ID.  Our hostess DJ Scratchy refused to jump out of the birthday cake, but she did have the Sponkies dig up an oldie but a goody to throw on the turntable for our old grey squirrel to help rock out his party at Chuck E. Cheese’s…

dusty vinyl

Before Bret Michaels became a reality show ho, he fronted one of the biggest hair bands of the late 80’s, Poison.  The group that was looking for nothing but a good time were practically a caricature of all that the next generation of music fans would mock about the hair metal genre we were growing our mullets to thirty years ago since there were no musical jeniuses like Justin Bieber or Kanye West around to receive our undying adoration.

More girly than even Taylor Swift.

More girly than even Taylor Swift.

Poison is one of the few late 80’s acts not to get swallowed up by the gaping black hole much of that era got sucked into when corporate radio began to control the playlists of oldies stations over a decade ago.  They still get plenty of hairplay airplay to give the music fans of today a reason to crank their iPhone’s amps up to eleven.  But not quite all of their hits survived the transition from Top 40 to classic rock standard… and maybe my favorite Poison song was one of the unlucky ones.  Here’s their 1988 #12 hit, “Fallen Angel,” which I haven’t heard outside of a music video channel since…. well, probably 1988.

“Fallen Angel” tells the all too familiar tale of the small town girl who leaves behind their family and John Mellencamp records to hop a bus to LA hoping to make it big as the next Ally Sheedy.  Unfortunately, most of these wannabe actresses end up on blank video cassettes hidden away in the back room of your local movie rental shop.  The sleazy producer our heroine of Poison’s video ends up under the thumb of is probably one of these giants of the porn industry…. but he gets his in the end.

Or should I say, he gets it in the front.

Or should I say, he gets it in the front.

While our fallen angel could have used this opportunity to dust off her wings and fly back home with halo still intact… she instead makes the terrible choice of hopping aboard the back of Bret’s motorcycle in the story’s ending.  This just accentuates the hypocrisy of this song being done by a band who probably laid more innocent groupies in its prime than even ball-broken Porno Pete did…

Dammit, Rikki... put the Rocket away, OK?

Dammit, Rikki… put the Rocket away, OK?  You’re scaring people.

I’ll be back next Monday with even more proof that every earworm has its thorn…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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30 Responses to Look What The Squirrel Dragged In

  1. I have to admit that I loved their hairstyle… and a lot of my friends too… and so we destroyed the planet with tons of aquanet :o)

  2. Piglove says:

    Happy birthday!! XOXO – Bacon

  3. Merbear74 says:

    I remember this song. I also remember being jealous of their make-up and hair…

  4. JackieP says:

    Well, apparently we Canadians aren’t allowed to see all that hair. It would be smooshed under our toques anyway. 😉 (video wouldn’t play here)
    Happy Birthday!

  5. fanrosa says:

    Is that a pigladillo in your trousers or are you just happy to see me? Ha!

    I don’t even have to watch the video to remember it, a mash-up of Welcome to the Jungle and Love is a Battlefield with a little bit of Legs thrown in just for fun…..

  6. Trisha says:

    Happy birthday to Evil Squirrel! Eight years is getting up there for a squirrel but he’s still looking good!

    This is embarrassing to admit but I had a Bret Michael’s poster on my wall when I was a teenager and I was a huge Poison fan. This was one of my favorites from them. I probably just about wore my cassette tape out rewinding and replaying it. It will be interesting to see if this week’s earworm can replace last week’s which, as of yesterday, was still gnawing away in my ears!

    • I can take no responsibility should you feel the need to unearth your old cassette and tape those posters back up on the wall!

      • Trisha says:

        Maybe you should have a disclaimer at the bottom of your Monday posts. “The Nest can not be held responsible for anyone reverting back to their groupie ways….” 🙂

  7. ody & biskit…..tell de squirrel we said a most happee 8th !!! heerz ta another 80…..due we hit de play button { half de time sound werks…half de time….. it doez knot…..ear werm ta bee… ore knot ta bee !! 🙂

  8. The 1980s, my missing American decade … the more I hear about it, the less deprived I feel. Does missing a decade in the U.S. make me younger? Can I just deduct it from my official age? No? Why not? Oh well. Never mind.

  9. Quirky Girl says:

    Holy cow! Evil Squirrel and I share a birthday! How cool is that? 😀

  10. Holy Nativity Cow! Happy Birthday to ES and QuirkyGirl! I will make a Pavlova in your birthday honor and then eat two pieces. One for each of you.
    You are most welcome. XX

  11. draliman says:

    Hooray! I mean, oh no, the video won’t play in the UK. What a, um, shame 🙂 That’s licensing laws for you and whatnot. I’m sure it was fab. Turns out I could have done this one at work after all. Speakers not required!
    Happy belated birthday to ES for yesterday. I hope he enjoyed his party at Chuck E Cheese, whatever that is!

    • Damn, Poison is like the Donald Trump of the music industry! They don’t want to share with the world…

      Chuck E. Cheese is kind of a pizza place, carnival and arcade smashed into one that specializes in kids birthday parties and hosting unruly children in general. It is not a place to visit if you want to have a nice, peaceful dinner…

      • draliman says:

        That sounds like my worst nightmare. I thought maybe it was a high-class restaurant which only served connoisseur cheese dishes. Though the name “Chuck E Cheese” kind of puts paid to “high class” I suppose.

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