This is a news flash from the Evil Squirrel’s Nest News Network!
People all across the world are reporting strange sightings! Social media sites are abuzz with news of bizarre appearances of a mysterious creature that has been dubbed “The Rainbow Donkey”. ESNNN exclusively obtained the following photo the Balzac family took while vacationing in Colorado, one of the first alleged sightings of the rainbow beast.
What is that mysterious being in the background, and why is Rover not the least bit interested in it?
These alarming eyewitness reports of this strange multicolored beast have occurred almost everywhere, from densely populated cities to the middle of nowhere!
Hallucinations, you say? Perhaps the work of the same clever con men who made all of those crop circles appear? So what if people are seeing unicorns, you might think? Well, it was a big deal to the 252 passengers aboard East Southeast Airlines Flight 811, who were diverted to Muddy Runway International Airport for an emergency landing after numerous passengers noticed something peculiar in the friendly skies.
This just in from our correspondent in Pyongyang! North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has claimed that these unicornlike objects being spotted across the globe is in fact a super-secret weapon developed by the evil military of the United States, and he vowed that his country would shoot down any such rainbow stealth bombers that were seen over his isolated country.
Back home in the United States, President Obama is calling for citizens to remain calm. “There is no such thing as a Rainbow Donkey” the President said in a news conference at the White House today. “I urge everyone to ignore these silly reports they are hearing and go on about your lives as usual.”
Here at ESNNN, we only report the facts as we see them. It is up to you to decide just what to make of the information we give you. Stay tuned, as we hope to have further updates on Rainbow Donkey mania….