They Call Me Febreze

That'll get that possum smell out of here...

That’ll get that possum smell out of here…

The new Fall scents in my air freshener aisle at Mecca have started to come in!!!

It doesn't take much to get me excited...

It doesn’t take much to get me excited…

Yes, I know it’s weird to talk about a Fall themed item when the dog days of Summer have just begun, but remember that in the world of retail, the calendar is always set about two months ahead.  After all, the Back to School counters have been going up for the last week… which really isn’t as odd as it used to be now that the kids here go back to school the second week of August.

And not a moment too soon!

And not a moment too soon!

Anyway, there are three seasons in the air freshener category… Spring (January-July), Fall (August-October), and Holiday (November-December), and since the Spring line had already sold itself out (mainly due to a surprising lack of feature displays this year), I went ahead and threw out the Fall Febreze Air Effects that came rolling in the last two nights.  Above you see one of the “flavors” (Flavor is the catch-all word for different varieties of the same product) that Febreze will have for sale this Fall, Sugared Cranberry.  If you take a good look at the design of the can, you will see why I went ahead and bought one this morning even though I’ll almost certainly never use it…

It also helped that it was clearance priced thanks to a cross-referencing glitch.

It also helped that it was clearance priced thanks to a cross-referencing glitch.

Yes, the artwork on the can features a couple squirrels!  While I do certainly associate squirrels with Fall, I’m not sure I really think of squirrels when someone mentions cranberries…

Plus, squirrels and sugar are a deadly combination...

Plus, squirrels and sugar are a recipe for disaster…

This post also gives me the opportunity to educate all of you out there who spell the brand name of the product wrong.  It’s FEBREZE, with three E’s, but none of them back to back.  Seeing Febreze misspelled as “Febreeze” or “Fabreeze” is a big pet peeve of mine on a par with people who think that those little dusters are called “Swifters”…

I seriously once had a customer get bent out of shape because all we had in stock was Swiffer when he insisted on buying "Swifter"...

I seriously once had a customer get bent out of shape because all we had in stock was Swiffer when he insisted on buying “Swifter”…

This also gave me an excuse to post something on my birthday.  Yeah, I really don’t like the fuss and attention of birthdays, yet I always seem compelled to mention them when they roll around.  Go figure…


Birthdays suck.  One more year, and I’ll have to change the description on my Gravatar…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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36 Responses to They Call Me Febreze

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Fabrice! Wait, that was half of Milli Vanilli. Never mind.

    Happy birthday! I won’t even hold against you the southern rock earworm you’ve given me in honor of this day. Better than “Freebird”, right?

    • I had to look and see if he was the one who had died, and he was not. Such a shame… lip synching was never so fun to listen to….

      Anything is better than Freebird. God, I hate that song…

  2. merbear74 says:

    Happy 39th ES!!! We’re the same age for a short amount of time.
    I use air freshener daily.

  3. maybe the Febreze with cake&coffee smell would be an idea for today? Happy Birthday! I have soda on my keyboard now for the comment about Milli Vanilli hahaha, great one :o)

  4. draliman says:

    Yay, happy birthday-tide!
    There’s nothing like a quick squirt of Farbreetz (TM) to make a room smell like,,, artificial chemicals.

    • LOL, and it always makes my night when a customer goes up the whole air freshener aisle and sprays everything on the counter to get a good whiff of our wares. I have to run and get the oxygen…

  5. goldfish says:

    Happy birthday! Enjoy your cranberry squirrels. 🙂

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    Happy Birthday! You share one with my mom…

    Fall scents are the best. I start thinking about Halloween around the end of July bc Falls things come out. It’s like ( the T word that sends me to spam) to wait three months.

    LOL at the crotchety customer who insisted on buying a Swifter…

    • While I’m not much on artificial scents, I have to agree with you there. The holiday scents are overpowering, and the Spring ones are sometimes just plain goofy (Let’s make up some weird scent, name it after a flower, and call it a Spring scent!)

      Oh, the customer stories I have. And I’m fortunate to get to work while the store’s closed most of the time…

  7. Scout Paget says:

    Happy Birthday! Congrats on your personal New Year & great wishes for the one to come.

    BTW, the post was charming. 😉

  8. Is a Swifter a faster Swiffer? I could use something that cleans super fast, especially if it works on its own without me directing it.

    What do squirrels and cranberries have in common? Nothing. They seem to have less in common than a raven and a writing desk. Maybe that’s the point?

  9. PigLove says:

    Happy birthday dude!!! I ❤ it. Oink – snort – oink – snort. Is there cake? XOXO – Bacon

    • Well, there was cake yesterday…… let’s see if there’s any left……

      Oh, how about that! I saved you a piece!

      • PigLove says:

        HOT PIG! I’m so psyched – so excited. OMP – CAKE – squeal. I don’t even care what kind. I love cake. Can you tell I love cake? Isn’t it your birthday again next week? Cake – squeal. XOXO – Bacon
        P.S. Mom almost got carjacked – you gotta check out my blog today. You will appreciate it… I think – snorts

      • I’m catching up on my reading as we speak. I’ll be there shortly!

  10. Twindaddy says:

    I’d wish you a happy birthday, but that seems like it would be counterproductive, so I won’t.

  11. Hey a late Happy Birthday. Hope all your squirrels come true!

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