Let Me Clear My Throat…

Today’s guest blogger

Hello everyone.  It’s nice to meet you.  Yesterday, my friend Evil was kind enough to let me be his Saturday Squirrel of the week.  Well, I thought Evil was my friend, but a real friend would never post embarrassing pictures of you on the internet and then tell outright lies and untruths about them!  The rumors are true about Evil Squirrel, he really isn’t anything but a mangy rodent!

I was very happy that Ms. Gentlestitches could see through all of the BS that ES dished out yesterday, and could tell that I was indeed belting out a tune.  You see, like all squirrels, I get a little stressed out all the time sometimes, and I choose to take out my frustrations in a more constructive way than ES has led you to believe.  Whenever I need a little release, I just sing this little song I wrote.  I’d like to share it with you now, and I have No Doubt that you’ll love it just as much as I do!

evil's angels

Strike up the band!

Take this brown doggie off my tail
He’s enraged, and now he’s on my trail
Don’t you think I know exactly where I’ll be
This cur is forcing me right up this tree

Cause I’m just a squirrel, oh little old me
My attackers they just will not cease
Oh I’m just a squirrel, all furry and free
So don’t let me have any peace
Whoa, I’ve had it up to here!

The moment I step outside the nest
My acrobatics will get put to the test
I can’t eat the thistle seed I love so dear
Cause it’s Ms. Grumpypants that I fear

Cause I’m just a squirrel, and I’d rather not be
Cause the birds they get all of the treats
Oh I’m just a squirrel, guess I’m some fuzzy freak
I’m just amusing when I am in heat
Oh I’m just a squirrel, yes they’re coming for me
Just a squished bug lying in the street
Whoa, I’ve had it up to here!

bootsy collins

Time for the intermezzo!

Oh, am I making myself clear?

I’m just a squirrel
I’m just a squirrel in the world
Oh why won’t you just let me be!!!!

Oh I’m just a squirrel, in backyard captivity
Just a living playtoy for your mutts
Oh I’m just a squirrel, with no destiny
They yell at me and they don’t see it cuts
Oh I’m just a squirrel, off’ring no apologies
When I dig through your nice lawn for nuts
Oh I’m just a squirrel, lucky me!
How I’ve yet to get shot in the butt

Whoa, I’ve had it up to…
Whoa, I’ve had it up to…

Whoa, I’ve had it up to…… HERE!!!!

squirrel looking at camera

Thank you, thank you! (bows) You’re too kind!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Squirrel Droppings and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Let Me Clear My Throat…

  1. HaHa. I knew you were singing. I bet all the lady squirrels love your singing. Tell them there is enough of your to go around and not to fight over you.

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