Hey! What are you going to do with that glove?
This will be my first attempt at “scheduling” a post… I hope it works!
I will spend much of tomorrow today on the road and watching baseball, so as I did with my last trip…. you’ll get your weekly dose of Retro TV Ad Tuesday, but you’ll have to make do with just a quickie!
Just enough to get the blood pumping!
Actually, today’s featured ad isn’t retro. And it’s also a commercial for a regional entity, so most of you have probably never seen this commercial before. But that’s OK, because we’re going to play a little game in today’s post! I want you to watch the commercial below, and then try to figure out exactly what it is about this ad that is so totally fucked up, I just had to bend the rules to give it The Nest’s infamous Tuesday treatment…
Hemorrhoids have been the butt of jokes (see what I did there?) for a long time, so that alone is no reason for me to showcase this ad and poke fun of it.
The juxtaposition of a friendly backyard barbecue in a multicultural neighborhood with a medical facility that specializes in treating asteroids is rather odd… but there really isn’t any activity you could pair up with a rectal clinic and not have it seem snickerworthy…
The term “infrared coagulation” does sound rather queer odd, kind of like something you’d expect Ripley to be talking about in a bad sequel to “Alien”. But much like “objective bibliography“, it alone is no reason roast this backdoor backyard barbecue.
Infrared coagulation at work.
If your probe into this thirty second bit of surrealism excreted the the fact that the most insane part of this ad was the entire last 10 seconds, congratulations! You get a big celebratory slap on the ass!
SMACK!
It’s OK to be a facility that only treats hemorrhoids. It’s perfectly fine and dandy to name yourself Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Centers… so long as you are actually in the plains states. And regardless of the nature of your business… you have every right to advertise your services to the public at large….
But for the love of proctology, if you are such a company…. DO NOT WRITE A FUCKING JINGLE TO SING IN YOUR AD!!!!!!
♪ Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Centers! ♪
Jingles should be catchy… and nobody wants to find themselves humming a little melody about a place to get your roids blasted. But for having the gall to take a crack at turning a rectal hospital into a creepy little ditty, The Nest gives a rear admiral salute to the Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Centers for trying to come up with an earworm, and instead unleashing an assworm that can make the angels sing… and our sphincters pucker…
The End
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Wow…just..wow.
Blech…
Wow, the song really makes it. Plus after the video, YT recommended some realted video. One was, um, pretty revealing from the look of the cover photo for it. lol
I was afraid of that! I noticed a bunch of rather graphic “recommendations” from YouTube when I watched it, but was hoping it was just because of what I typed in the search box to find that ad… I can’t believe they’d even have videos like that on YT!
It was kind of funny though.
It was kind of GROSS! Ew…..really??
Doesn’t everyone sing about asshole maladies?
I fell in to a burning ring of fire….
the burning BBQ grill describes it best lol… thanks, this post makes my day:o)
Put a little lighter fluid on that…… OW!!!!
Oh wow – most be a popular topic this week. Pull my hoof – snorts. XOXO – Bacon
It is well known in the medical community that excessively pulling hooves leads to hemorrhoids! Now you have to sing the song!
snorts – now I have an ear worm… thanks! Double snorts. XOXO – Bacon
MY EYES!!! OH SWEET JEZUS, MY EYES!!!
I apologize for that… and this time, I really mean it. Shame on YouTube!
I would have just used “Asshole” by Dennis Leary.
LOL!
Nice ends at the end.
LOL. The ending is quite a bummer…. 😉
I remember hearing that a well-known brand of hemorrhoid cream here in the UK wished to use “Ring of Fire” in an advert. The family of the late Johnny Cash, for some reason, objected to this, and so it never went ahead.
Probably a wise move. I can imagine the Man in Black rolling in his grave over his music in a hemorrhoid cream commercial! (Though it would be hilarious to me!)