If you play Christmas gift giving like it’s a zero sum game, then you’ll enjoy the overwhelming unbalance that is the Shelf Critter Secret Santa exchange. Let’s see who’s about to experience then dark side of the holidays today….
SPARKLEPONY: As a hard working mother of two, three if you count my husband, I shouldn’t have to be buying anyone gifts at Christmas. I should be the one receiving everything!
Oh, grow up you old nag and pick a name already!
SPARKLEPONY: Well, I’m certainly NOT going out of my way to shop for some nasty old Troll! I’ll just get him the same thing I’m getting everyone else on my list….
TROLL: So yeah, I got this gift card for Christmas and I was wondering…. where’s the booze aisle?
TWILIGHT: Sir, this is a spa, and there’s only five dollars loaded on that card. That’s not enough to purchase any of our services.
APPLEJACK: (from the backroom) What about our other spa services?
TWILIGHT: You’re right, AJ, he does have enough money for that! And he certainly looks like he could use it. Just follow my assistant, sir, and she’ll take great care of you!
AJ: Right this way, Sugarcube!
TROLL: So, what is this other service I’m getting?
AJ: You gotta strip down, first!
TROLL: Wow, that’s kinda kinky! Is this one of “those” kind of spas? (Starts removing his clothes) Oh boy, I hope I get a happy ending like I did the last time I visited the petting zoo!
TROLL: I hope we’re in a private place right now!
AJ: Don’t worry, nobody in this neck of the woods has a telescope to see anything you got. Now, just go through that door there…
TROLL: OK, now what?
AJ: Now the fun starts, Sugarcube!!!
Applejack flips on the switch…
AJ: So, how would you rate our spa service?
TROLL: Well, I think I lost several wads of hair in the machinery, and some of the soap got in my eyes… but the brushes did tickle my jewels and I’m pretty sure my buttcrack hasn’t been this clean since that time I confused a pressure washer for a bidet! I’ll definitely be coming back when I get another gift card next Christmas!
What a thoughtful gift! I hope someone gives Troll another gift card to that spa BEFORE next Christmas….or maybe his very own pressure washer.
Well, I guess that depends on if he has any friends to buy him a birthday gift….
ooh that’s a super gift… a guy broke up with me with a message on a mc D gift card… no biggy, but the gift card was expired that sucked…
Expired gift cards…. now there’s a nice gift I’ve never thought of giving before!
Next Christmas the five buck job will be fifty bucks.
No, they’ll just cut back to using a spray bottle…
A successful gift at last! No through any effort on Sparklepony’s part, mind…
Troll is easy to please. Now if Rainy had gotten that “spa” gift card, the Car Wash would have shut down…
Nice job on sticking to the monetary limit while making someone enjoy the gift. Well done.
Now I feel like I failed on this one if everything came out right!