A Brand New Car!

No, I’m definitely not referring to this thing in the title.

The past couple weeks have been awfully out of whack for me, and a large part of that has been tied up in my car…. the really old antique Neon I’ve been driving around for 17 years now that I’ve written about before.  It spent the majority of my nine-day vacay last week on the repair shop’s parking lot… not because the problem appeared to be massive, but because they got way fucking behind over the holiday (Hint to mechanics out there: Cars break down every day of the year).  So after getting it back this past Friday and everything seeming hunky dory (Or at least as hunky dory as possible given that they have no idea what’s been causing my Check Engine light to be in a perpetual state of “on” for the past 52 weeks), I assumed it was back to business as usual as I returned to work…..

LOL

The official image of LOL

Saturday night’s ride to work was hell on wheels, as the car’s engine shaked shook, rattled and rolled the entire four mile drive while I hung on for dear life.  Then Sunday morning, it wouldn’t start at all.  Despite the cold weather, the starting itself seemed fine… it was the engine that seemed to refuse to crank up at all.

It’s time had come…

Buster knows what I mean.

And so… knowing that trying to salvage the wreck was going to be a lost cause, I knew it was finally time to do the dreaded car shopping that extreme social introverts like me despise.  And not some long, drawn out, let’s run all over the area and take my time picking something out kind of shopping…. my youngest sister was about running out of patience after all the chauffeuring she’d done for me lately.  I was lucky to find what looked like a pretty good deal on a leftover 2017 new car at my local dealer on the internet, and here’s a shitty picture of my newest ride!

Dragging it outside is way too much trouble for me right now…

It’s a bright (and I mean BRIGHT) red Chevy Sonic with entirely way too many gizmos in it that I don’t need or want.  At some point I’ll have an opportunity to take a better photo of it.  The glove box has already eaten my registration paper for lunch (thanks to a very large gap that leads to a void behind the damn thing), and the get up and go in this hamster-powered engine makes the old Neon feel like a dragster.  But I get to be independent again.  And once the junkyard comes to tow the old piece of shit off of Mecca’s parking lot tomorrow, I can finally close this fucked up saga for good and get back to doing the important things… like actually replying to your comments!

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Hey look! They think I’m ignoring them!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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43 Responses to A Brand New Car!

  1. congrats and may it bring you always to the best places… but nevertheless it is a little bittersweet… the cars look as odd as the music is now and REAL cars like the one we had are no longer available… sigh…

    • Yeah, I don’t like all the fancy pants stuff in this car… nor the fact that I’m now pretty much bound to getting everything done at the dealer (Including airing up the plutonium in my tires). But, it runs and I don’t bounce up and down the road anymore even when there aren’t any potholes…

  2. Congrats on the new wheels. I recently crossed 82K on my own 2004 model and dread the mere idea of having to replace it. I think I’d rather set my hair on fire than go car shopping. 🔥 Here’s to a gazillion miles of happy and carefree ownership.

    • I’ve been dreading car shopping for years, and when the reality finally hit…. well, let’s just say Sunday and Monday were NOT the most fun days I’ve ever had. I’ve never been so nervous or unsettled about anything ever…. even when I bought my house!

  3. Congratulations! I feel like I have been following the ongoing saga of your Neon forever, so it is a little bittersweet to see it hauled away. But now we don’t have to worry about you getting stranded or blowed up in the hunk-o-junk. I can relate to your feelings about car shopping. The heater core in my 2008 Kia has died and my solution (instead of car shopping or even just paying $1200 for a new heater core) was to crochet a big winter blanket to keep me warm in the car. So good on you for getting the job done!

    • Oh my… one of the old family cars I used to have to drive had no heater. Those were not fun rides to and from work in the winter! The AC in the Neon had been shot for a decade, and that I can live without. I might still drive with the windows down in the summer just for old times sake!

  4. fanrosa says:

    For a minute I got excited thinking that it was a pink and orange gradient….then I came to my senses and realized who I was talking about here. Ha!

    Pouring one out for the LBN….

    • That red looks weird enough as it is, and the camera flash really made it look even stupider! I should have found a HK pink car on the internet and waited to see how many people would fall for me actually buying something that hideous…

  5. JackieP says:

    I had to buy a new car in 2016 because my 23 year old minivan just wasn’t reliable enough. I dreaded going all over town looking for a car. So I did some research on the internet and went to one dealership and got a good deal on a Honda HRV. Easy peasy, thank the goddess of introverts. 😉
    They will at least see you coming in that new one. LOL

    • Yes, this would have been an almost impossible pain in the ass for me had I not been able to find something online and go to the dealer and point to what I wanted. I think it also helped that the salesmen seemed to be much more laid back since apparently nobody actually buys cars in January and they were tickled pink to be making a sale…

  6. WOW…….now that’s what I call a car that can’t be missed out on the highway…..OR in the parking lot at Mecca. It’s “screamin’ red” but looks great – streamlined like a little rocket ship. I hate car shopping because my husband is one of those who drags me along to 20 different dealerships to see EVERYTHING even though I personally would have been totally happy with the first one we saw. Whateva……I’m just glad to hear your poor beleaguered sister will no longer be your personal Uber….you’ve got your own wheels now!

    Pam

    • It doesn’t look quite as loud and hideous as the flash makes it appear in that picture, but it’s a very bright red nonetheless. If I could shop in peace, I might not mind looking around at all the cars on the lot… but with so many predatory salesmen lingering around, there’s not going to be any peace!

  7. I would congratulate you, but you don’t sound like you’re looking for congratulations, though usually getting new wheels is a good thing. For what it it worth, we had to do it two years ago, though we didn’t get a new car, but a used one because … well … we should have gotten a new one. Better deals, better financing. But I don’t LIKE all those useless gizmos and they confuse the hell out of Garry who does most of the driving and frankly baffle me half the time, too. And what is more, the more gizmos, the more things go wrong.

    What went wrong with your car was exactly went wrong with ours. Exactly. We never figured it out either and the cost of trying to get it fixed was exceeding the price of a better car … and so …

    Be happy. I know it isn’t what you wanted, but it is what you needed. Try to enjoy it. Really. It’s a GOOD thing.

    • Now that I HAVE it, it’s not a bad thing… I was more upset over the idea of having to get a new car than actually having a new car. Once I figure the essentials out and unprogram my brain from just assuming everything is where I remembered it for the past 17 years.

  8. draliman says:

    Noooo – that old Neon (whatever a Neon is) was part of your identity. Then, I’ve never heard of a Chevy Sonic before either so at least you’re keeping to a theme.
    Don’t worry, everything I used to think were “gimmicky gadgets” soon became “must haves”.

    • I still consider the smartphone to be a gimmicky gadget, and the salesman was perplexed at the fact that he was supposed to explain how all the fancy linkup in the car works to someone who still uses an old flip phone. Just tell me where the stuff I need to actually DRIVE it is, and I’ll be OK sir!

  9. Ladybuggz says:

    Nice looking new car! Beats our 2003 Kia Rio that cost us about $2000 in repairs this year. We can’t complain too much, it was way cheaper than buying a new one!

    • If you’re spending less than what you would be paying for a new one, or for car payments, you are still ahead! Nobody seems to understand that when they wonder why you put up with paying a few small repair bills on an old car…

  10. RIP ol’ Neon… Welcome to the new Chevy. I feel that you should nickname it The Hedgehog. Or is that too obvious?

  11. Congrats on the new mode of transport! Last week was another epic fail for Big Guy with his fairly new car, which led to the loss of transportation for me. which reminds me, I need to ask him how he got mango smoothie on the front and back seat floor spaces of my car… ;-(

    • See…. one of the best things about having an old car was I could mess it up and you wouldn’t even be able to tell. Another ding or a scratch was no big deal. A few more french fries underneath the seat could be ignored. It feels wrong to stain such virgin territory…

  12. Quirky Girl says:

    Sorry your Neon kicked the bucket… but congrats on the new car! I, for one, am a fan of that shade of bright red. It’s the color of fun and adventure! 😁

  13. crimsonowl63 says:

    Glad about the new car! Sorry about that Neon, you always spoke so kindly of.
    I used to prefer new cars. I liked just above the base modelsStandard, no power

    • This one has manual windows (YAY!), but just about everything else seems like needless amenities to me… though they may all be standard. I was surprised (and maybe a tad disappointed) that it didn’t have satellite radio, but oh well….

      • crimsonowl63 says:

        I guess everyone else likes that stuff. I have volume for the radio and answer the phone buttons on it and of course I’ve never used them. I accidentally hit one once. My husband has a 1996 truck so all he has is the radio and a cassetted tape deck.

  14. “Out with the old and in with the new”…..my, you really took that saying literally. Nice red car but is it a chick magnet……curious squirrels wanna know.

  15. Piglove says:

    Car problems – shaking my head is disgust. We know that feeling too well here at the Hotel Thompson. Sometimes you have to buy the bullet and say enough is enough – I need my freedom with a car that actually wants to work for me. It was a huge jump I know. But I tell you my friend, it looks sharp. Are you going to name it? Mom named her Jeep Diablo after his latest escapade. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

    • I don’t know if it’ll get a name or not. There were a few Alberts on the dealer’s website that I considered for about one second, and it made me think of you. I wanted a back seat, even if there’s zero legroom for anyone who sat back there…

      • Piglove says:

        Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. Albert was awesome – great gas mileage, could get into some tight places, turned on a dime. BUT Albert did not have shocks. You would have felt every bit of it turning on a dime. Mom has her next car picked out after Diablo in a couple of years. Wait until you see it – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

  16. Merbear74 says:

    Congrats, ES!! Welcome to the ’10’s…man, that’s weird to type.
    Is anyone allowed to use the Official Image of LOL?

  17. Trisha says:

    My condolences (RIP super long-lived Neon) and congratulations! I don’t know cars anymore so I don’t know what a Sonic looks like but it looks pretty cute in the picture and it sure would be nice to have a car that you know isn’t likely to leave you stranded somewhere. My car is the newest car we have (it’s a 2007 that turned 100,000 miles back in June) and it’s been dropping hints that the transmission might be getting ready to go out. The grinding in the rear axel seems to have fixed itself though. For now.

    • I got the sedan version of the Sonic, which at least somewhat resembles a normal car (I’ll take a better picture of it outside of the garage at some point)… but there is a more popular hatchback version which just looks like a 21st century mini station wagon. I parked next to a red truck at the convenience store today and noticed just how different my hue of red is from what seems like a more normal looking red. Even Stevie Wonder would see me coming down the road, I think…

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