We have a guy on my message board who goes by the name of AlphaDummy, and one of the creative ways he entertains us is with an occasional Top Ten list, like those some gap-toothed former weatherman from the Hoosier State has made famous. I played off of that schtick when I drew his portrait a few years ago. Anyway, last night he treated us to his latest Top 10 segment, and I was quite honored to find out it was a tribute to my very own venture here!
Ladies and Gentlemen, from the Home Office in Squirrel Hill, PA (They have a great Baskin Robbins there!)… here are the Top Ten Reasons AD Is Endorsing Evil Squirrel’s Nest!
10) ES agrees not to use Where’s George stamp on unmarked $100 bills used to pay AD off
9) AD gets 10% commission on all sales of MBRS® condoms
8) Ratbastards at Nike never returned calls from AD’s agent
7) ES guarantees big-ass bonus if AD agrees to let his scalp be used as a billboard for evilsquirrelsnest.com
6) Promise to AD that he never has to appear with that little prick Buster
5) All disputes over endorsement fees to be submitted for arbitration by Michigan Bar Association
4) AD will agree to just about anything after a few bottles of Point Amber
3) ES promises to never give out AD’s daughter’s phone number to Clem. Ever. (Did we mention the part about “ever”?)
2) Three words: Nekkid Angel Pictures!
1) AD given rights to host the Evil Squirrel Home Shopping Hour on WGAS