The Ty-D Bol Squirrel

I thought I felt a nibbling on my nuts...

I thought I felt a nibbling on my nuts…

As REM once sang, Everybody Poops.  When we go into the bathroom to do our business, we take for granted that other than a couple billion microscopic specks of bacteria, there squirrelsinnewsisn’t any other living thing between us and the blue water.  Of course, that doesn’t stop people from being paranoid that a snake or even an alligator is going to suddenly emerge from the water and nip them in the buns.  The last thing we’d expect to find emerging from our toilet is a squirrel… but that’s just what Angela Campbell of Winnipeg, Manitoba discovered about a week ago.  Seriously!  Here is a link to the story from CBC News.

squirrel toilet

Nothing unusual about a squirrel on a toilet.

The photo of the soaked black squirrel trying to get out of the toilet looks like it was taken straight from some cheesy horror movie.  I mean, come on…. it honestly looks like a turd came to life, sprouted limbs, and is emerging from the bowl for revenge on the person who tried to flush it.

Howdy ho!!!  Prepare to be hung sideways!

Howdy ho!!! Prepare to be hung sideways!

This story teaches us an important lesson that when faced with a surprise squirrel in the toilet situation, we should all remember to have a pair of barbecue tongs handy.  That’s what Campbell used to extract the sewage-covered beast from her commode.  Tongs are always a much better choice than using the dog’s teeth for such a delicate operation.  Not wanting to send a stinky squirrel back out into the wild, Campbell took the turd burglar straight to the tub for a quick bath.

A nice, hot bubbly bath I hope.

A nice, hot bubbly bath I hope.

Once again, the overwhelming kindness of our neighbors to the north shines through in the way Ms. Campbell handled this squirrel turned sewer rat.  Most Americans in this situation would have likely hammered the flush handle or picked up the plunger and used it as an epee.  But this squirrel is lucky to have tunneled his way into the right bathroom, so that he was rescued, de-fecalized, and is now back to scampering around in beautiful downtown Winnipeg… and will hopefully learn his lesson not to go looking for nuts in septic tanks.

pot stirring

Those are dingleberries, dumbass!

So remember two things, folks!  Always check the water before you sit down, and be wary next time you are invited to a barbecue….

Ummm, those tongs look a little funky, Mr. President....

Ummm, those tongs look a little funky, Mr. President….


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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20 Responses to The Ty-D Bol Squirrel

  1. Juliette says:

    Random, unexpected and sort of sweet (the rescue part)! Wow, a squirrel would be just about the last thing I’d expect to find in a toilet.

  2. Trish says:

    Well I have been working hard to make Canada aware of the wonderfulness of squirrels

  3. merbear74 says:

    I always loved Mr.Hanky, the Christmas poo. This has to be one of your “Shittiest” posts…

  4. Next time you think *you’ve* had a shitty day …

  5. We Canadians try to be polite even to God’s furry creatures. 🙂

  6. gentlestitches says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It was fabulous the way the woman rescued the little critter and washed it off and set it free. There are some wonderful people in the world. I can’t wait to show the children and watch their eyes bulge with fascination and horror!

  7. pishnguyen says:

    Oh my goodness! Poor squirrel. I’m so glad his saga had a happy ending. But talk about a shocker of a thing to find in one’s toilet. O.O

    I remember, when I was a kid, reading a book about how alligators were in the sewers. It was a fiction story about a man who had a little pet alligator and it accidentally got flushed down the toilet or something like that … and then it grew up in the sewer. For MONTHS after, I had to inspect the bowl before doing any “business” — you know, just in case there might be a gator or two hanging around down there. LOL

  8. dogfordavid says:

    Wow! That’s something I wasn’t expecting to see. lol

    Juliette and Gentle Stitches already said what I was thinking when I read this so I won’t repeat. I will however repeat the part about being glad the lady that found the little guy was kind enough to help him like she did.

  9. dogfordavid says:

    Just showed the boys. They are insisting on making sure I know it’s a “rat in the potty”. lol And then David asked if it got in there by falling from the tree. lol

  10. reocochran says:

    Just checking in, making sure that you know you are part of my inspiring bloggers award post, I see you liked it, but not sure you saw your name, http on it! Congratulations for being on my list of Very Inspiring Bloggers, Bill.

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