As REM once sang, Everybody Poops. When we go into the bathroom to do our business, we take for granted that other than a couple billion microscopic specks of bacteria, there isn’t any other living thing between us and the blue water. Of course, that doesn’t stop people from being paranoid that a snake or even an alligator is going to suddenly emerge from the water and nip them in the buns. The last thing we’d expect to find emerging from our toilet is a squirrel… but that’s just what Angela Campbell of Winnipeg, Manitoba discovered about a week ago. Seriously! Here is a link to the story from CBC News.
The photo of the soaked black squirrel trying to get out of the toilet looks like it was taken straight from some cheesy horror movie. I mean, come on…. it honestly looks like a turd came to life, sprouted limbs, and is emerging from the bowl for revenge on the person who tried to flush it.
This story teaches us an important lesson that when faced with a surprise squirrel in the toilet situation, we should all remember to have a pair of barbecue tongs handy. That’s what Campbell used to extract the sewage-covered beast from her commode. Tongs are always a much better choice than using the dog’s teeth for such a delicate operation. Not wanting to send a stinky squirrel back out into the wild, Campbell took the turd burglar straight to the tub for a quick bath.
Once again, the overwhelming kindness of our neighbors to the north shines through in the way Ms. Campbell handled this squirrel turned sewer rat. Most Americans in this situation would have likely hammered the flush handle or picked up the plunger and used it as an epee. But this squirrel is lucky to have tunneled his way into the right bathroom, so that he was rescued, de-fecalized, and is now back to scampering around in beautiful downtown Winnipeg… and will hopefully learn his lesson not to go looking for nuts in septic tanks.
So remember two things, folks! Always check the water before you sit down, and be wary next time you are invited to a barbecue….