Da Squarls!

The Super Bowl is such a white hot event, that it can make stars out of just about any space dust that happens to get caught up in its gravitational pull.  This includes heroes like Joe Namath and Adam Vinatieri, goats like Jackie Harris and Scott Norwood, and can even make millionaires out of guys who happen to be in the right place at the right time like Larry Brown.

Thanks Al Davis for that big contract! Oh, thank you too, Neil O’Donnell, for making me your favorite receiver in Super Bowl XXX!

And while The Big Game has become so big now, that even the commercials are getting their own pre-game shows, one team took the reigns of Super Bowl fame to heights not seen before or after during a more modest era in the game’s history.  In 1985, the Chicago Bears managed to put one of the best teams ever assembled out on the football field… fielding a competent offense that was dominated by one of the greatest running backs in NFL history, which was more than good enough given that they were backed up by one of the stingiest defenses to ever set foot on the gridiron.  The Bears quickly began to make mincemeat out of their schedule, winning the first 12 games, and at one point in that stretch, allowing just 29 points in a 6 game span.  This certainly seemed like a team that was destined to win the Super Bowl…

And boy did they know it.  In the midst of that steamrolling run, the team recorded a rap video called “The Super Bowl Shuffle”… and you can see the boys strutting their stuff on this link.

No, we will NOT play “The Night Chicago Died”!

While it wasn’t quite the first of its kind, “The Super Bowl Shuffle” was one of the first songs to be written around a particular sports team… and inspired many, many, many imitations by other teams who thought they were bound for glory in future years.  It was also the first, and really still only sports team song to gain widespread nationwide popularity.  As the Bears stomped their way through two playoff shutouts in January 1986, the Shuffle even cracked the Billboard charts, peaking at #41.  The video that was shot along with the amateur rap made stars of the players involved in it even more than their accomplishments on the field did…

I’m the star of this team… can’t you tell by the shades?

I’m the punky QB known as McMahon
When I hit the turf I’ve got no plan
I just throw my body all over the field
I can’t dance But I can throw the pill

Jim McMahon was a mediocre quarterback with a huge ego who just happened to land on the right team that didn’t actually need his passing skills.  He somehow managed to stay in the NFL for 11 more seasons thanks in large part to the name recognition he got being the signal caller for the ’85 Bears.  If only the Chargers had managed to build a team like that around Ryan Leaf…

Damn, I’m hungry for a McDLT…

But even more ridiculous than the stardom foisted upon McMahon was the idolization of Bears rookie William “The Refrigerator” Perry, who became an even bigger household name in the mid 80’s than their Hall of Fame running back Walter Payton.  Despite his largeness and ultra cool nickname, he won his way into the hearts of America by being the world’s fattest scoring machine.  Apparently the Bears were too overconfident in their talents, and decided to show off by letting their 900 pound defensive lineman do a little rushing and receiving on the side.  He managed to score three touchdowns during the season, and one in Super Bowl XX that featured a Richter Scale triggering spike…

All the stolen video in the world wouldn’t help Bill Belichick stop this…

The big man who became famous for bellyflopping his way into the endzone had a combined nine yards of total offense in his career… which somehow lasted until the 1994 season.  The Fridge still rings bells among those who were alive in the 80’s to this day, and of course, he got to rap the last verse of The Super Bowl Shuffle…

Go for yours, Fridge!

You’re looking at the Fridge, I’m the rookie
I may be large but I’m no dumb cookie
You’ve seen me hit, you’ve seen me run
When I kick and pass we’ll have more fun
I can dance, you will see
The others, they all learn from me
I don’t come here looking for trouble
I just came here to do The Superbowl Shuffle

And speaking of names the ’85 Bears made famous, though he didn’t appear in The Shuffle, we can’t leave out this man….

You just just see the thrill of victory in Mike Ditka’s face…

Mike Ditka oversaw the rise of the Bears, and coached them throughout their dominating run from the mid 80’s through the early 90’s.  Ditka became a coaching legend almost overnight thanks to the success and popularity of the ’85 Bears, and is still a highly regarded and sought after name to this day despite all the failures he had after his Chicago days were over…

Ohhh, this may ruin your manly image, Coach Ditka…

Ditka moved on to New Orleans in the late 90’s and coached the Saints to three miserable seasons before getting axed, while at the same time totally ruining the team’s future by blowing an entire draft on one premier running back out of college who was more interested in scoring hits on the bong than touchdowns on the field.  If The Fridge hadn’t already hung up his defroster, no doubt he’d have been backing up Ricky Williams in The Big Easy, though it would be scary to think of The Fridge getting a case of the munchies…

Jim McMahon, The Fridge, and New Coke. It doesn’t get any more 80’s FAIL than that…

While the ’85 Chicago Bears may have been a little too big for their britches, and made many mountains out of molehills, we at The Nest admire their fun loving arrogance and narcissism that ensured they would be remembered even longer than Joe Montana’s more 80’s dominant San Francisco 49ers teams.  And of course, we are thankful for the awesome retro video memories that are evoked in watching The Super Bowl Shuffle.  While Da Bears may have only enjoyed one season in the sun, the sunburn that year inflicted on many of the personalities from that team lasted a lifetime…

Now before you go, fetch a plate of polish SAHsage and treat yourself to this video of the best of Saturday Night Live’s Superfans…