The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 3

On the third day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…

Three French…. words.

SANTA: Just three!?!?  George Carlin said there were seven of them, and that ain’t even close to enough profanity to get me through this fucking holiday!

SEYMOUR: (blushing) Santa!  You need to mind your French!  There are children out there!

SANTA: The children can kiss my big elfish ass!  Besides, I know what kind of shitty music they’ve been asking for, so I’m pretty sure those little bastards already know all the goddamned naughty words!


SANTA: Now there’s something that should be fucking censored from our tender ears!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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16 Responses to The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 3

  1. oh yeah…..I bet most of the shelf critters are on Santa’s “NAUGHTY” list for sure!


  2. i etter learn french with da shelf critters, much better than duolingo :o)

  3. Goodness me Santa! Don’t you know that the censors are out there in the dark, keeping track of all your ‘French” words (please. French? You could surely come up with a better subliminal title.) Like FOWL language *snicker* Carry on. 🐔

  4. Cheer up Scrat…there’ll likely be worse words uttered during Shelfmas Days. You can probably bank on it.

  5. draliman says:

    Santa – the man behind the beard…

  6. Kismet says:

    Why say it when one finger will do?

  7. Trisha says:

    I’m with Santa. Seven swear words isn’t nearly enough to get through this fucking holiday! And I agree the kids already know them all. One day the little boy next door shouted off a huge, long string of them. And last week I’m sure his mom wanted to when he somehow dented their car door. I’m sure he’s on Santa’s naughty list!

    • That would have cracked me up. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of the little brats at Mecca swear like that before. It took me until I was in my mid 20’s before I started swearing, because even though I heard those words plenty when I was a kid, I better damn well not say one in front of mom or dad OR ELSE!

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