On the third day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…
Three French…. words.
SANTA: Just three!?!? George Carlin said there were seven of them, and that ain’t even close to enough profanity to get me through this fucking holiday!
SEYMOUR: (blushing) Santa! You need to mind your French! There are children out there!
SANTA: The children can kiss my big elfish ass! Besides, I know what kind of shitty music they’ve been asking for, so I’m pretty sure those little bastards already know all the goddamned naughty words!
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEALLLLLLL!!!!!!
SANTA: Now there’s something that should be fucking censored from our tender ears!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
❤️
oh yeah…..I bet most of the shelf critters are on Santa’s “NAUGHTY” list for sure!
Pam
I’ll bet SANTA is on Santa’s naughty list even!
Oh I have to think Santa does a lot more in some houses than put presents under the tree….if you get my drift……
i etter learn french with da shelf critters, much better than duolingo :o)
The critters will give you a vocabulary that is known the world over…
Goodness me Santa! Don’t you know that the censors are out there in the dark, keeping track of all your ‘French” words (please. French? You could surely come up with a better subliminal title.) Like FOWL language *snicker* Carry on. 🐔
We’re just going along with the song, and there’s nothing fowl about three french hens. Wait a minute…. nevermind!
Cheer up Scrat…there’ll likely be worse words uttered during Shelfmas Days. You can probably bank on it.
Only when the Christmas songs are playing…
Santa – the man behind the beard…
Santa would look really weird without it…. he oughta shave it off and scare the kids.
Why say it when one finger will do?
Or talon.
I’m with Santa. Seven swear words isn’t nearly enough to get through this fucking holiday! And I agree the kids already know them all. One day the little boy next door shouted off a huge, long string of them. And last week I’m sure his mom wanted to when he somehow dented their car door. I’m sure he’s on Santa’s naughty list!
That would have cracked me up. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of the little brats at Mecca swear like that before. It took me until I was in my mid 20’s before I started swearing, because even though I heard those words plenty when I was a kid, I better damn well not say one in front of mom or dad OR ELSE!