Can you spot the dumbass in this picture?
One of this weekend’s biggest stories gone viral (You know, they do have immunizations 
for that) has been brought to my attention by just about everybody on both of my internet communities… which can only mean it features a squirrel. A squirrel who, as you are about to see, is not only a fine representative of its noble species, but a true American hero, and a crusader for common decency and against the digital retardedness that has plagued our society in the second decade of the 21st century.
A true squirrel of the people!
Here is a link to the story as reported by NBC’s The Today Show. Apparently, 17 year old Brian Genest and his mother were on a college touring trip to Tampa, Florida from their home in beautiful downtown Auburn, Maine. While strolling through a local park, Brian came across a squirrel sitting on the handrail of a wooden walkway, and the squirrel didn’t have the good sense to head for the hills. Most people would have thought, “Aw! What a perfect opportunity to capture a cute Saturday Squirrel picture!”
Smile, you bushy tailed fleabag!
Unfortunately, Brian was just like most other 17 year olds, and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get a selfie with the squirrel so that he could be the talk of Evilbook Facebook. However, no sooner had Brian snapped the shot heard round the internet, that the squirrel decided this human needed to be taught a lesson on how to properly appreciate nature. The squirrel jumped in the poor kid’s shirt and then clung on to his back as he ran away like a little girl. To add insult to injury, Brian’s mother didn’t even bother to come to her baby’s rescue…. no, she just had to get out her own phone to get this great shot:
Mom! Help! He’s after my nuts! Mom!!! Mom???? AAAAAAA!!!!!
So, you are probably chalking this up to another case of the Steve Irwin syndrome… a wild animal attacking someone stupid enough to get too close to it. But not me. No, I like to think squirrels have some self respect… and this squirrel was just taking a stand against the ridiculous selfie craze out there. You will never see a squirrel stooping so low as to taking a selfie…
Like OMG! STFU! LOL!
Selfies are one of the most ignorant byproducts of the two absolute worst inventions of the new millennium…. camera phones and Facebook. Back in the good old days, if you wanted to show off to the world how vain you were, you had to fly your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun. Now, kids and immature adults alike can whip out the ol’ smartphone, hold it out at arm’s length, and aim it at their ugly face to get a snapshot that can almost instantly be shared with their “friends” on Facebook so they can pretend to Like it, just as they also were forced to enjoy your dinner you had at Burger King the night before. Or then there are the mirror selfies, where amateur sluts of all ages and genders can let all of cyberspace know how hot they seem to think they are… probably before they’ve even washed their hands after using the restroom.
I’m too sexy for Instagram!
Let us hope that not only did Brian learn his lesson that maybe college might not be such a great idea at this point in his life, but that all of us have gained the important knowledge that this sciurine warrior has taught us…. selfies are stupid. Put away the phone, back away from the social media, and just enjoy nature for what it is… beautiful, free, wild, and of course, hungry for your nuts should you get all up in their grill.
Let’s sum it up, shall we?
Good night, everybody!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
There is not enough cute squirrel here to make up for reminding the world about that Geraldo pic. :-\
Ugh, that really is him? I just skimmed Google for an ugly selfie, and that’s what came up!
I thought of you when I saw that one!
It appears a lot of people did! That’s a good thing, I think! 🙂
Squirrel – 1 Human – 0. The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, with regards to stupid, in that family. Selfies are so obnoxious. I have a coworker who wants to take a selfie with me. Maybe I will share this article with her…yeah. Thanks for sharing!
This should be shared with all selfie freaks out there! Keep your selfies to…. well, yourself!
Exactly. At least it gave good blog fodder to you and me a good laugh, as generally happens, when I read your posts!
I wonder where that guy has his nuts… :o)
In some squirrel’s mouth!
I love good idea, bad idea. I miss Animaniacs….sigh.
Me too… that was one of the best segments on the show. This would have been perfect for it…
I briefly thought about doing my own segment on my blog, but didn’t want to be a plagiarist.
Depending on how it was handled, I’d consider it a tribute, not copycatting. Besides, it isn’t like they’re making any more… someone has to revive Mr. Skullhead!
True. That guy ruled.
The squirrel may not have attacked if he’d have known how much better he looked in the selfie than the goofy kid, ESN.
Ah, but that’s the thing about squirrels, they already know how good they look! They don’t need some goofy teen to photobomb their awesomeness!
I forgot!
A friend said I would get more hits if I joined facebook but I said “nah” “my little shop seems to be doing fine without it”. Also who needs more time suck? Your summary was both elegant and succinct. 😀
Who’d have thought it would be possible to survive without Facebook! If only the rest of the world knew!
I have a new picture of Nutty! I will email it to you, and mayhaps he can be a Saturday squirrel sometime in the future, woot!
Can’t wait to see it!
Please pass the eye bleach…
I am so terribly sorry for adding that picture to this post! Here’s an eye bleach pen…
Hooray for silly!
I would be out of business without it…. or I’d have to blog about mold or something like that….
Mold is fascinating!!
For some people it is a miracle cure (penicillin, etc…) and for others (me included) it is a powerful hallucinogen and allergy touchpoint.
I have the penicillin allergy as well. I’m more of a mildew type, myself…
Ew, mildew smells bad. 😛
That squirrel is my hero.
He deserves the highest civilian honor that can be bestowed upon a squirrel, whatever that is….
On the other hand, selfies are even better than mugshots for highlighting the pezheads!
Ha! Your first day on my blog, and already making me look up new words! I hadn’t heard the term pezhead before (though obviously had some visuals before I looked it up), so thanks for expanding my education!
I wonder if the kid learned anything from this? Probably not. Poor squirrel, having his day upset like that.
That’s right! I don’t see anyone feeling sorry for the squirrel in this story!
That’ll be the next warning added to the signs before you head into parks and whatnot- “Please do not selfie with the animals”
Yes….. or with Geraldo, apparently…
I loved the selfie and the way that squirrel grabbed onto the shirt of someone! This made me chuckle! Smiles, Robin
Love it!