An Army Of One

Enemy spotted!

Enemy spotted at 10 o’clock!

After reading about my unfortunate incident that happened this past Tuesday right in my sqturday squirrel logoown backyard, a couple of my readers commented that it would have been awesome had my squirrels rose up and beat back the scumbags who decided my air conditioner was more valuable as scrap copper than as a machine to ensure me and my cats don’t roast to death.  After all, this theft literally occurred right under the tree that serves as the base for their sciurine operations I quite often capture for your enjoyment on my blog.

Well, over the past couple days, I’ve noticed that one squirrel outside my window does seem to be taking this advice to heart, and has been preparing himself to defend the backyard from any other neighborhood terrorists that try to take advantage of me.

Gasp!  The forces of evil are attacking!  This is a call to arms!

Gasp! The forces of evil are attacking! This is a call to arms!

I have watched in amazement as this squirrel has put himself through intense backyard basic training that would even make Gunnery Sergeant Hartman bust his perfectly polished buttons with pride.

How do you load this thing anyway?

How do you load this thing anyway?

That's more like it!  BAM! BAM! BAM!  I am Rambo Squirrel!

That’s more like it! BAM! BAM! BAM! I am Rambo Squirrel!

This versatile solider squirrel can turn any weapon into a lethal killing machine.

Oh, so you won't surrender, huh?

Oh, so you won’t surrender, huh?

Well, prepare to be knocked into Retro Ad Tuesday with this weapon of mass destruction!  En garde!

Well, prepare to be knocked into Retro Ad Tuesday with this weapon of mass destruction! En garde!

In case of a blitzkrieg, this lean, mean, fuzzy machine isn’t afraid to break out the big guns if necessary…

Long range weaponry loaded and ready to blow off some unlucky enemy's acorns!

Long range weaponry loaded and ready to blow off some unlucky enemy’s acorns!

This bushy tailed warrior will fight to the death to protect his turf.  He can take a licking, and keep on ticking!

Dammit!  I've been hit!  Send in the M*A*S*H unit!

Dammit! I’ve been hit! Send in the M*A*S*H unit!

But make no mistake… a little shrapnel under the fur only serves to make G.I. Squirrel really angry.  You don’t want any piece of this squirrel when he’s angry.

This squirrel's too batshit crazy for even the Marines!

This squirrel’s too batshit crazy for even the Marines!

There’s no letting up for this squirrel, even when his weapons have been exhausted.  He’s also an expert in paw to hand combat…

This fist is courtesy of the Red, White and Blue, infidel!

This fist is courtesy of the Red, White and Blue, infidel!

He can take to the trees and fight guerrilla warfare if necessary.  Be warned, you are meeting this fierce combatant in his own element.  Beware of twig missiles…

Someone's about to experience death from above!

Someone’s about to experience death from above!

….and acorn grenades!

BULLSEYE!!!

BULLSEYE!!!

Thank you very much for helping to defend the backyard from threats to our freedoms, Private Squirrel!  For your bravery, service, and sacrifice, you have earned the highest sciurine honor this blog can bestow… you are honorably named as this week’s Saturday Squirrel!  Keep fighting the good fight making this little corner of the world a safer place for us all!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Dismissed!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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28 Responses to An Army Of One

  1. merbear74 says:

    I’m glad you have a sense of humor, ES. It’s the only way to roll in this shitacular world.

    • Yes indeed, I have managed to ward off those asshole with laughter. I think my last three posts have been some of my best work… perhaps its true what they say about artists needing to suffer (Which I will continue to do since the new AC unit isn’t going to be installed until Monday morning!)

  2. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I know it’s only one squirrel, but I am humming the theme to “The A-Team” now.

    Two days in a row now apartment management has been here to fix the AC, and it’s still not working (the fan works, but the air isn’t cool at all). Think your squirrel can arrange for mine to be taken out completely?

    Just kidding of course. Hang in there for a little while longer!

  3. To call the squirrel-calvary is a great idea… they even have an airforce and can throw nuts on the nuts of this nuts, in case they are nuts enough to come back.

  4. Ally Bean says:

    I’m completely charmed by this guy. How lucky you are to have such a defender of the realm!

  5. Reblogged this on Linda's wildlife garden and commented:
    Lovely post and thank you for sharing

  6. Terrifying ninja squirrels!! They could probably beat up our coyotes, but maybe they should not take on the skunks. The skunks cheat.

  7. beware the squirrel who is slow to anger (and his platoon!)

  8. Great squirrel pics, awesome tale to accompany it!

    • Thanks! As soon as I noticed the squirrel outside my window playing with sticks Thursday, I was already thinking up how I could take advantage of it for my feature this week!

  9. draliman says:

    Wow, squirrel Plus 🙂

  10. Beware of the Squirrel! Love it.

  11. Rambo squirrel is my new hero, ES! His cousin Hambone is currently residing in the tree over my bird feeder. He goes through a ton of peanuts a week. Defending my turf from the English Red Squirrel takes a lot of energy! Cute post – and loads of piccies – BONUS!

    • I have it on good authority that Hambone might want to think about attracting those English Red Squirrels! You know what they say, once you go red, you never go back…

  12. PigLove says:

    OH MY PIG!! This is great. Something along the lines of Gremlins – it would be a hoot to take over the neighborhood. Unsuspected thieves could be taken down and tortured while one calls 911. Snorts ! XOXO – Bacon

  13. Trisha says:

    In all my years of squirrel watching, I’ve never seen one do anything like this!

    • It was so funny watching him play around with all of those sticks… mainly to chew on (Which you can see by looking closely at each of the pictures). When I took a look at what I had after uploading all of them, the “story” they were telling practically wrote itself! That squirrel is my hero!

  14. I love him! So cute, Bill.

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