After reading about my unfortunate incident that happened this past Tuesday right in my own backyard, a couple of my readers commented that it would have been awesome had my squirrels rose up and beat back the scumbags who decided my air conditioner was more valuable as scrap copper than as a machine to ensure me and my cats don’t roast to death. After all, this theft literally occurred right under the tree that serves as the base for their sciurine operations I quite often capture for your enjoyment on my blog.
Well, over the past couple days, I’ve noticed that one squirrel outside my window does seem to be taking this advice to heart, and has been preparing himself to defend the backyard from any other neighborhood terrorists that try to take advantage of me.
I have watched in amazement as this squirrel has put himself through intense backyard basic training that would even make Gunnery Sergeant Hartman bust his perfectly polished buttons with pride.
This versatile solider squirrel can turn any weapon into a lethal killing machine.
In case of a blitzkrieg, this lean, mean, fuzzy machine isn’t afraid to break out the big guns if necessary…
This bushy tailed warrior will fight to the death to protect his turf. He can take a licking, and keep on ticking!
But make no mistake… a little shrapnel under the fur only serves to make G.I. Squirrel really angry. You don’t want any piece of this squirrel when he’s angry.
There’s no letting up for this squirrel, even when his weapons have been exhausted. He’s also an expert in paw to hand combat…
He can take to the trees and fight guerrilla warfare if necessary. Be warned, you are meeting this fierce combatant in his own element. Beware of twig missiles…
….and acorn grenades!
Thank you very much for helping to defend the backyard from threats to our freedoms, Private Squirrel! For your bravery, service, and sacrifice, you have earned the highest sciurine honor this blog can bestow… you are honorably named as this week’s Saturday Squirrel! Keep fighting the good fight making this little corner of the world a safer place for us all!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
I’m glad you have a sense of humor, ES. It’s the only way to roll in this shitacular world.
Yes indeed, I have managed to ward off those asshole with laughter. I think my last three posts have been some of my best work… perhaps its true what they say about artists needing to suffer (Which I will continue to do since the new AC unit isn’t going to be installed until Monday morning!)
I have had my fair share of suffering, and I agree.
That sucks…we have a cool front now…first day of summer and it’s chilly enough for me to be wrapped in a blanket.
Damn, how did that miss us? We’re still expecting highs in the low 90’s all weekend! It’ll “cool down” into the upper 80’s by the time I get my air back…
I think I live in the polar zone.
I know it’s only one squirrel, but I am humming the theme to “The A-Team” now.
Two days in a row now apartment management has been here to fix the AC, and it’s still not working (the fan works, but the air isn’t cool at all). Think your squirrel can arrange for mine to be taken out completely?
Just kidding of course. Hang in there for a little while longer!
I love it when a Saturday Squirrel comes together!
I’ll radio the squirrels in your neck of the woods and tell them Operation Freon is on…
To call the squirrel-calvary is a great idea… they even have an airforce and can throw nuts on the nuts of this nuts, in case they are nuts enough to come back.
Nothing like heat seeking, guided nuts to provide a direct hit on the target. So long as I don’t get any female thieves, I’m confident in our battle plan!
I’m completely charmed by this guy. How lucky you are to have such a defender of the realm!
He regrets that he has but two nuts to give for his backyard…
Reblogged this on Linda's wildlife garden and commented:
Lovely post and thank you for sharing
Terrifying ninja squirrels!! They could probably beat up our coyotes, but maybe they should not take on the skunks. The skunks cheat.
Well, the skunks have nerve gas. Squirrels aren’t that advanced in the area of biological warfare yet…
beware the squirrel who is slow to anger (and his platoon!)
I’d love to have a whole platoon of these guys! The war games themselves would be top notch entertainment!
Great squirrel pics, awesome tale to accompany it!
Thanks! As soon as I noticed the squirrel outside my window playing with sticks Thursday, I was already thinking up how I could take advantage of it for my feature this week!
Wow, squirrel Plus 🙂
Bonus pics! And amazingly, they are all of the same squirrel, all taken either Thursday or Friday afternoon. This guy wanted on my blog really bad!
Beware of the Squirrel! Love it.
I’ll need to get that on a sign! I pity the first fool who chooses to defy it…
Rambo squirrel is my new hero, ES! His cousin Hambone is currently residing in the tree over my bird feeder. He goes through a ton of peanuts a week. Defending my turf from the English Red Squirrel takes a lot of energy! Cute post – and loads of piccies – BONUS!
I have it on good authority that Hambone might want to think about attracting those English Red Squirrels! You know what they say, once you go red, you never go back…
OH MY PIG!! This is great. Something along the lines of Gremlins – it would be a hoot to take over the neighborhood. Unsuspected thieves could be taken down and tortured while one calls 911. Snorts ! XOXO – Bacon
In all my years of squirrel watching, I’ve never seen one do anything like this!
It was so funny watching him play around with all of those sticks… mainly to chew on (Which you can see by looking closely at each of the pictures). When I took a look at what I had after uploading all of them, the “story” they were telling practically wrote itself! That squirrel is my hero!
I love him! So cute, Bill.