The Good Stuff and The Gooder Stuff.
So what happens when you toke MARIHUANA while popping a Viagra? You get four hours that’s anything but mellow. And on that note, happy 8/20 everybody! Unless you’re in one of those weird, non-American parts of the world that thinks the day should go before the month… in which case, you’ll always miss out on the good stuff.
The Share Your World Harry Potter theme continues this week, with four questions from Roger Shipp and four from Melanie. Let’s see if we can get through all of these before my Bob Dole meets Bob Marley wears off…
Heterochromia globe, see me through this…
Harry Potter can speak to snakes. If you were able to have conversations with any one animal, what animal would you like to speak to? What would be the topic of your first conversation?
TWILIGHT: He’s gonna pick Mr. Fox, I just know it!
APPLEJACK: I hope so, Sugarcube! That fox is such a studmuffin!
TWILIGHT: That’s beside the point, AJ. The Mr. Fox gag gets done to death! Need a talking critter? Get the only one who can’t speak! Hardy har har….
AJ: His handsome face does all the speaking I need to hear!
TWILIGHT: You’re impossible to reason with, AJ! Oh, here it goes….
Well, that’s an easy one! I’d pick this one…
Mr. FOX: …………………………..
TWILIGHT: See, I told you….
AJ: SHHHHHH!!!! I can’t hear those sexy vibes that hunka fox is speaking to me over your big mouth!
TWILIGHT: OK, I give up! Let’s go drool over Mr. Fox together….
The portraits in Hogwart’s dormitories can talk. If your graduation portrait could speak to people passing it by, what would it tell them?
It would say nothing, because I broke the camera. That’s actually true… the local photography studio that leeched off of my school district for generations was taking pictures of each graduate as they got their (fake) diploma so that our families could all have a very expensive memento of this very overrated ceremony. When it got to me, the camera stopped working. Yes, I really broke the camera!!!
That wasn’t a shutter click. That was a shit’s breaking click…
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger use the Pollyjuice Potion for finding new clues for the happenings at Hogwarts. (The Pollyjuice Potion is a magic potion that allows your body to form into that of another and live their life for a few hours.) If you could transform into another being, who would you chose to be? What would you hope to learn?
SHADOW: Pollyjoo…. what kind of nonsense is this? My shapeshifting abilities are beyond compare, and I need no funny looking liquid to serve as a catalyst. Let me show these magician’s apprentice rejects how it’s done…
SHADOW: There! I am now the Shelf’s resident surly skunk female. Allow me to show you how fully I’ve taken over her material body…
RAINY: What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to copycat me, you annoying little jerk? You’re an even worse imitator of my species than that humanoid bitch with the cosplay tail!
SHADOW: You are mistaken, dear…. for I am now YOU!
RAINY: You’re me, huh? Let’s put that to the test….
RAINY: What do you have to say now, fake skunk?
SHADOW: (Cough! Gag!) I should have never wandered into this (Hack! Wheeze!) dimension today…
There was a flooding in the girl’s bathroom where Moaning Myrtle resides. What has been the most dangerous (or comical) ‘flooding’ where you reside?
SNUGGLE: Holy fuck!!! Who knew Harry Potter had erotic scenes in it? Yeah, Moaning Myrtle…. you just keep moaning and flooding the girl’s bathroom with your Pollyjuice! Meanwhile, I’mma start reading with one hand and try not to get these pages too sticky! My teacher was right, Reading is Fucktamental!
RAINY: You inconsiderate prevert!!!
SNUGGLE: Dafuq, bitch!?!? You’re deflating my Moby Dick bookmark!
RAINY: I’m so very sorry to everyone involved in the Share Your World feature for having to witness this inexcusable lewdness!
How do you think you’ll die?
He will get his revenge on me. And it’s unlikely I’ll be able to respawn…
What’s the best on-line screen name you’ve seen? “Best might mean the oddest.
Back in the old days of the Millionaire message board (circa Spring of 2001), there was short-lived poster who went by the handle Phil McCracken. That name always stuck with me because of how oddly amusing it sounded…. but it was many years later before I realized it was a very dirty innuendo! Yes, even I can be quite naive sometimes…
You should be careful which screen name you register with, Snuggle…
What’s invisible that you wish people could see?
My busted Giveafuck….
I love this meme, and have used it as an avatar before…
If over time you replace parts on a car, at what point does it stop being the same car you bought? How many parts do you need to replace to make it a new car?
SLIDER: TWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aha, I’ve finally caught you Melanie!!! Reusing past SYW questions…. for shame!!! Right here, almost exactly a year ago! What do you have to say for yourself?
SLIDER: That’s odd…. I have a strange sensation, like I….. maybe should have kept my mouth shut.
RAINY: You may want to keep your nose shut as well, you gaudy looking busybody!!!
Gratitude:
Aren’t you glad that internet scratch and sniff ability hasn’t been invented yet….
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
omg you made my day… it’s sh*tty and rainy and nothing goes like planned but your post relaxed me more than weed….
A few karmic sprayings can help turn around most bad days…
Yep I’m very happy there is no “smellavision” available on computers every time Rainy does her THING. I swear – even the questions about the world of Harry Potter make me think Rowling must have had some pretty good “stuff” when she wrote it. I mean – think about it!!!!!! Yeah……maybe if I’d written a book ilke that instead of the mystery novel I did write, I’d be a gazillionaire by now. ……sigh……..
Pam
You definitely should have written about children pretending to be wizards and coming up with all kinds of insanely named magical thingamabobs. Or perhaps children dating vampires and werewolves. That’s the stuff that sells apparently!
Here in Finland we use that odd way, it is today 20.8. Your 8/20 makes me wonder how do you have so many months. What is the name of the month 20.
In America, the only time you’ll ever hear of a day put before the month is when we talk about our Independence Day, the Fourth of July. Usually, we say July 4th and August 20th… and thus why we write the numbers that way too. I’ve wondered, and never been able to confirm, whether English speaking people outside of the US actually add the extra article (the) and preposition (of) when saying the date, or if they just effectively write it backwards as numbers. I’ll concede the metric system makes much more sense than what we use, but I don’t get the international dating syntax at all!
The Harry Potter meme of “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” comes to mind.
Now there’s something Harry Potter themed that I can actually relate to…
Thought that’d have great appeal for you.
I am glad that scent can’t travel through the internet. I get enough skunky aroma floating through my yard from the weed the neighbor has been smoking lately.
Leave it to Uncle Snuggie to make a Harry Potter scene in to something dirty!
You need to tell neighbor not to bogart the good stuff! Man, that’s one thing I don’t miss about not seeing customers anymore is that damned weed smell that exploded when we legalized at the beginning of the year! Then again, there are a few of my coworkers…
I don’t know where Uncle Snuggie gets that dirty mind from! It’s most definitely not from me, though…
AJ: His handsome face does all the speaking I need to hear! Hahahah!!!
I loved your picture stories.
Thanks for participationg in the Potter questions this week.
The characters are part of something I do here called Shelf Critter Theatre, and I usually work them into a question or two every week…. but I guess this week’s questions inspired their antics more than usual! I know nothing about Harry Potter, but the questions have been quite entertaining nonetheless, so thank you!
Nice to see that arrogant Shadow get his comeuppance! And I’m not sure that the “Moaning Myrtle flooding scene” goes exactly like that…
Snuggle never was much on reading comprehension. His book report on Moby Dick got him expelled from school…
Is 8/20 the police code for someone who’s high in more ways than one? We put the month before the day here too–no weirdness up north!
If it isn’t, it oughta be!
YAY! There’s one thing about Canada that isn’t weird! 😉
I like the question about the screen name. My favorite one was a woman who was: Dr. Laura’s Worst Nightmare. I didn’t know who Dr. Laura was at the time, but I liked how she bothered someone enough to take a stand against her in this way. Very effective way to make a point.
I don’t really know who Dr. Laura is, but if she’s anything like Dr. Phil, I appreciate any nightmares out there for her…