It’s everyone’s favorite surprise game short of waiting until you get home to check your drive thru bag from McDonald’s! The 2019 Shelf Critter Advent Calendar has another tasty treat to offer up since we’ve made it one more day closer to Christmas without the world suddenly ending. Let’s see if there’s anything perfect about number ten today…
D’awww! It’s Mary the cute little lamb! Maybe today we’ll actually have an innocent, family friendly edition of the SCAC…
MARY: And maybe one of these days that bastard Evil Squirrel will let me put breast augmentation on the corporate expense account like he lets Mitzi. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, I doubt it….
Alrighty then. So, what does Christmas mean to a big eyed girl like ewe?
MARY: I see what you did there! Christmas is all about waiting for the visit by Santy Claus! I remember when I was just a cute little bundle of wool, my Mommy would put out milk and cookies for Santa to eat up after he put our gifts under the tree! Now that I’m all grown up, I’ve carried on that tradition!
Wow, this might be a wholesome scene after….
MARY: Oh, there you are, Big Boy! You must be so tired after driving that sleigh all over the world! I’m fresh out of milk, so I’ll be happy to share my booze with you! Oh, and I don’t mind if you want to…. you know… lick the icing off this cute little gingerbread lamb who really wants to get eaten up? I’ll bet you just love us girls on your naughty list, don’t you Santa?
SIGH….. (facepalm) all.
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
LOVE IT!!! cheers Mary & Santa…Will you share marys thoughts about easter too?
She likes to dress up in her bunny costume, if Mitzi isn’t using it at the time to wait tables…
Well at least Mary knows what Santa really needs other than milk and cookies after a rough night of deliveries……booze!
It’s not DUI so long as the reindeer are still sober…
That beautiful face with big eyes doesn’t tell the truth of her true nature. So sad, a little lamb spoiled already in this evil world.
The Shelf has that way with even the most innocent of critters…
Facepalm indeed! Yikes! So much for innocence.🤦🏼♀️
On the Shelf? That word isn’t in our dictionary…
Well *BAM* another illusion shattered. I thought Lambie there was a virgin and the guy in the red suit that allegedly shoots around the world in a single night, dispensing goodies? Was asexual. Um. Yeah.
Nobody could possibly the THAT jolly without ever having a little fun. It’s the only reason the big guy even looks forward to that long ass trip…
Awwww…..how can someone so innocent looking be such a naughty girl? Santa likes that I bet! Gets mighty cold in that sleigh – a little lamb blanket over the lap might be nice.
Pam
You just know every Christmas morning, Mrs. Claus is waiting for the old man to return with a rolling pin in her hand. She knows why he keeps that naughty list!
But, but, she looks so cooot and innocent…
As does her idol…. er, rival, Mitzi….