Herb and Edna, the life of the party…

I have an overactive imagination which tends to overrun both my idle and busy time… and I also love brain teasers.  So my brain monkeys conjured this one up while at work earlier this week, and figured I’d run it by my readers to see if you can figure it out (answer in the comments)…

Herb and Edna’s 40th wedding anniversary party was a smash.

“Oh, I can’t believe you two have been married that long!  Congratulations!” Janice said while eating a piece of cake.

“What can I say,” Edna smiled, politely ignoring the glob of blue icing sticking to Janice’s teeth.  “What Herb and I have is true love!”

“Yeah,” Herb muttered, scratching himself in plain view of all, “It’s hard to believe it was 40 years ago today we said our vows to each other.”

“What you have is so special!” Janice proclaimed.  “I can’t wait to see the two of you together on your 50th anniversary!

Herb and Edna’s faces both noticeably frowned as they looked at each other with dismay.  Janice tilted her head a bit at the awkward silence, which Edna finally broke…

“I’m afraid there will be no 50th anniversary for us,” Edna solemnly told Janice.

“Oh, sure there will be…” Janice said with gusto, trying to bring the lively air back into the room that has been suddenly sucked out.  But Herb echoed his wife’s negativity…

“No, Jan, there will be no 50th anniversary for us.  There just….” Herb looked down and scratched himself again… “won’t.”

“Why so sullen and depressing?” Janice snapped up out of her folding chair.  “I KNOW you two will still be around and together for your 50th anniversary, and I will be the first to congratulate you ten years from today!!!”

The happily married couple just shook their heads and went back to drinking their Metamucil punch as Janice got up to mingle with the Kuntzes.

Ten years later, Janice was ready to keep her promise… only to stunningly realize that the couple was right.  There was no 50th anniversary for them to celebrate.

Why?

While you think about that (or roll your eyes at it), allow me to share my world with Melanie’s questions for this week…

Happy first week of Meteorological Spring, everyone!

Is every piece of truth worth telling?

If it has to be told, it’s not unfiltered truth.  We all perceive of that which we call reality, even so-called “truths,” in different ways.  It’s why we’re such a diverse species that is also always at each others throats.  When people are telling me every piece of their truths, I’m usually cranking up the muzak to drown them out…

A little truth can be a dangerous thing…

Whom do you miss more Freddy Mercury or Prince?

It’s Freddie Mercury by default, even though I didn’t know who he was until he died.  I was familiar with “Radio Gaga” from MTV, but was unaware of anything else Queen had done (or Mercury’s stature in the rock community) until I started listening to 70’s music in the mid 90’s.

I never cared for Prince, and that has only turned to utter disdain for him after the endless lionizing of his “musical genius” that has been done since his death five years ago.  All I know is that most Prince songs are just meh, and two of his biggest hits, “When Doves Cry” and “Kiss,” are utterly unlistenable.  Prince can kiss my purple ass…

What was that? I can’t hear the haters!

If you could only email or text people for the rest of your life (no other form of communication), which would you chose?

Since I’ve never texted anyone before in my life (nor do I currently have anything to text with), I guess it’s email…

It would be a shame to miss out on the quality entertainment of junk mail, though…

Would you prefer to work the midnight shift at a really creepy out of the way motel OR work alone for eternity?

Work alone doing what?  I love working midnights and working alone, and am not really fazed by seedy locations… but I need a job that keeps me active.  The motel would provide activity in murdering the guests and burying their bodies behind the pool.  The alone for eternity option is lacking in detail for me to make an informed decision about it…

We don’t need a housekeeping staff, ma’am. The local forensics team cleans our rooms on a regular basis for free!

What’s one secret you’re still keeping from your immediate family?

That I was adopted.  I could never tell my mother, it would break her heart if she knew I wasn’t hers…

Yeah mom, you just imagined those labor pains…

Please feel free to share something uplifting that you’ve experienced so far in 2021

My squirrels always uplift me!  From this year alone….

Yeah, well we don’t find you very uplifting, human! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!