Nice work, if you can get it…

It was on June 2, 2012 that the game show world lost one of its biggest stars in English born actor Richard Dawson.  Dawson was all over the American telly in the 60’s and 70’s on shows such as Hogan’s Heroes, Laugh-In, The Match Game and even subbing for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show.  But he will best be remembered for being the original host of the game show Family Feud, where he picked up the nickname The Kissing Bandit for his frequent smooching of female contestants, a practice that was hilariously parodied by John Astin in National Lampoon’s European Vacation.

And Chip and Mitzi in this episode of Shelf Critter Theatre.

Oddly enough, Dawson died sixteen years to the day as his Family Feud successor Ray Combs… whose trademark while hosting the show was borrowing female contestants’ high heels to strut around in during a round.  Yeah, don’t ask if you don’t already know….

And before this intro gets any more awkward, let’s get on with the main event… answering Melanie’s Share Your World questions for this week!

Survey says…..

Has anyone ever tried to scam you?

Of course not!  And if you believe that, I have this bridge I bought a while back that I’d like to sell you…

Would I lie to you?

What’s the best thing about parties?

That they happen somewhere I’m not…

You’ll have to leave, you didn’t RSVP.

Do you listen to people’s advice if you didn’t ask for it?

I have no choice but to listen since I have hearing.  Whether or not I actually follow it is another story…

Why is it impossible to spell funeral without fun?

It’s been way too long since I got to make an SCT skit…..

RICKY: We have gathered here today to pay our final respects to Mr. Buster Possum, who came to earn his heavenly reward yesterday due to an infected paper cut, probably not from reading The Bible….

MITZI: (Sniffles) Mitzi’s, like, totally choked up and stuff!  (Sniff!)  Is Mitzi’s stripper mascara totally running?

SNUGGLE: Here, toots!  You can borrow this slightly used napkin to dry your face!  I was only using it to watch por….

FUZZYWIG: Who schedules these stupid wakes at 4:20 anyway?  If I’m gonna be bored, at least I’d like to be too stoned to know it…

BUSTER: Hey, what’s going on?  Why is everyone crying?

RICKY: I was unaware The Shelf was due for any divine miracles.  You’re supposed to be dead.

BUSTER: Dead?  I’m not dead!  Why, I’ve never felt so alive as I feel right now!

SNUGGLE: Dafuq is this shit!  I only came here to see a dead body!

TROLL: Good news everyone!  The post-funeral spread is ready at Hung Lo’s buffet!  I even raided the condom machine in the men’s room to make us some nifty party balloons!

RICKY: I’m afraid you’ll have to cancel those plans since the deceased has risen from the dead.

TROLL: What!?!?  No way!  You mean I snuck into the dog pound last night for nothing to make sure we had enough meat to feed everyone!

FUZZYWIG: And I have a bad case of the munchies….

BUSTER: Oh, I hate to be such a bother…

SCRATCHY: I got the sound system all set up in the dining area!  What should I play first, “People Who Died” or “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead?”

FUZZYWIG: Forget that now.  Buster fucked up the fun for everyone by surviving.

BUSTER: Aw, I hate to be such a Debbie Downer and ruin everyone’s plans….

SCRATCHY: Gotta always be a party pooper in the crowd!

BUSTER: But I’m ALIVE!!!  Your best friend, Buster Possum, is still around and kicking!  I know you were all looking forward to a big post-funeral bash…. but maybe we can celebrate my being alive instead!

MITZI: That, like, totally doesn’t sound like fun at all!  Mitzi’s going home to watch Dexter with Zeeba…

RICKY: Wait for it…………

RICKY: I put that embalming fluid in myself, so I knew it had to take effect sooner or later.  Party’s on, folks!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!

SCRATCHY: Now this is how you put the FUN in FUNeral!

How was last week for you?

Customers shitting all over the place.  Flooring crew drilling random holes in the new floor they just put down.  Backroom still a fucked up mess.  Just another week in the life of Mecca!