Share Your World – Week 23

It’s that time of the year again when everything in my house is suddenly covered in black and I can’t breathe…

Tuesday is the day The Nest gets awkwardly close to all of our wonderful readers and invades your personal space with more world sharing courtesy of Melanie’s weekly Share Your World questions!  You’re just dying to see what horrible and wretched things you might learn about me today, aren’t you?  No?  Well, too fucking bad!  No… don’t leave!  You’re not going anywhere!

Have a seat!

There, that’s better!  Now that I have my captive audience, let’s roll out the logo!

We’re just the universe’s kickball.

What do fish do all day?   What thoughts do you think they have?

As with most families who have kids that have no concept on the practicality of things, we had a few experiments with keeping aquariums when I was growing up.  Experiments which failed even harder than a nuclear reactor at Chernobyl.  Poor fish.  Poor, poor ick covered fish.  What can those kept in captivity by cruel humans possibly be thinking….?

CHIP: Do I even want to know?

FUZZYWIG: What?  It’s my pet fish.

CHIP: Fuzzy, that’s a mermaid!

FUZZYWIG: It’s half fish.  And the bottom half, so we’ll be able to give a half-assed answer to this question.

CHIP: Why is she in your toilet bowl!?!?

FUZZYWIG: Why not?  Fish swim in their own poop, so why shouldn’t they swim in my poop too?

CHIP: That’s disgusting!

FUZZYWIG: The dog drinks it.  Hey, don’t knock it ’til you tried it, dude.  That reminds me of my favorite poem…

If it’s yellow, let it mellow
If it’s brown, flush it down!

CHIP: What color is vomit?  (Putting paw to mouth) Asking for a friend…

FUZZYWIG: Alright little fishy, tell us what you’re thinking right now.

MERMAID: (Thoughts) My sister gets a lifetime contract with Disney, and I get stuck in Shelf Critter Theatre!  Just put me in a box of crumbs at Long John Silver’s already!

What celebrity would you have as a SPOUSE, if you HAD to choose?

Definitely not Lorena Bobbitt….

Does Mitzi count as a celebrity?  She certainly does around here…

Any time, dear. Any time.

Who wouldn’t want to call a lovable ball of fun like Mitzi their very own?  Well, there’s the whole interspecies love stigma that America has yet to get over… but given their booming popularity, I’d bet unicorns would be the first win the right to marry humans.  And of course, with Mitzi being Mitzi, you’d still probably have to share her…

Everyone <3’s Mitzi!

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken?

Who is that ugly dude in the reflection?

Above is the totality of the damage I did to an SUV in the only at-fault car accident I’ve ever been in.  I T-boned it (with my awesome Neon!) at about 10 miles per hour while trying to make a left turn across three lanes of backed up traffic while 500 miles from home on vacation eight years ago.  The guy (Who was from Texas…. this happened in Oklahoma!) was super nice and we both turned in the claim to my insurance without having to get the police and their book full of tickets involved.  But I’ll bet that little bang up cost thousands of dollars in bodywork.  Or who knows, maybe it was so expensive they totaled the vehicle and I really did break it completely.  I never found out, but it’s a ghost from my past I’d just as soon forget anyway…

When was the last time you slept more than 9 hours in a stretch?  Why?

It’s not uncommon for me to sleep that long on Saturdays, being the day after my first night back to work.  Working overnights, your sleep often comes in lots of short and a few very long spurts…

Though I still can’t sleep 23 hours a day like cats do…

Share something you were really grateful for this year (so far):

Yesterday may have been the first absolutely gorgeous weather day we’ve had this year.  It was sunny, it was only moderately warm, there was a very nice breeze, and the muggy, soupy feeling from all that rain was completely gone!  If I were an outdoors person, it would have been a great day to do something.  At the very least, I’m sure the squirrels enjoyed it…

This is the life…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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22 Responses to Share Your World – Week 23

  1. oooh poor Neon!!! that was not really a sparringspartner you picked for a meet&greet….

  2. “The guy (Who was from Texas…. this happened in Oklahoma!)” you say this like it’s a bad thing? We *cough, cough* Texans are very friendly, unless you piss us off, then it might not be so good. Especially now that brass knuckles are legal to carry (polishing my set of brass knuckles as I type) lol. In any case moving on, I’m glad that you finally had a break in the weather, it’s nice to know your not getting as much sogginess. But we are now having to deal with it, it rained so much yesterday and now the sun is out so now we have fog and humidity to deal with, yuck! Have you seen the series on Amazon called Good Omens? They explain, briefly and in a hilarious manner, why we don’t have unicorns in real life.

    • The gist of my mentioning the states was the strange fact that someone from Illinois (moi) and Texas got into an accident in the middle of Oklahoma! I’m really surprised my insurance company didn’t question the whole thing… though they definitely didn’t forget to jack my rates up the next three years!

      I wasn’t aware brass knuckles were considered a banned weapon anywhere. I guess that means I probably couldn’t carry them here in my blue state… though if I had a pair, I’d probably just use them on annoying customers and/or co-workers… and that might get me in trouble.

      I have heard of that show (and the book before there was a show), but have not seen nor read it. I’ve had a few Gaiman fans rave about it, though…

      • Ha! Great minds think alike, I mean as far as using the brass knuckles on coworkers *ahem* not that I would you understand. But the thought has crossed my mind, lol.
        The show is hilarious, and as previously mentioned, they give an explanation as to why we don’t have unicorns now. I need to see if the show remains true to the book. You know how that can go.

  3. My brother had aquariums and the fish ALWAYS had ICK, whatever that it. Sort of like fungus of the fins?

    My dogs are going wacko trying to get through the glass doors to the squirrels on the deck. The squirrels obviously know the dogs can’t get to them, but it makes the dogs crazy. I decided that polite conversation wasn’t getting the job done, so now I “woof” at the squirrels which oddly enough, works better than saying “Please” and “Thank you.” If I didn’t think The Duke would try jumping over the deck railing (LONG first step down) I’d leave him to guard the deck. Squirrels and dogs are the most amusing combination ever. I suppose they better chow down now. We’re taking down the feeders next week.

    • Most aquariums end up swampy, icky disasters. They’re animal cruelty chambers designed to amuse kids, although humans don’t seem to hold the sentinent being status of fish in very high regard…

      You should try to learn how to chatter at the squirrels. If you click your tongue off the roof of your mouth, you can make a sound that will get a curious look out of them. Some people can get squirrels to come to them doing that, but I seem to annoy them more than anything…

  4. Thanks E.S. for Sharing Your Unique World with the, with the… well heck. WITH THE WORLD! 🙂 Hee hee. Mitzi certainly is popular, isn’t she? Every time I went back to that photo, I found a new ‘critter’ gazing with unbridled critter lust at her. Well a girl must do what a girl must do. Cheers! I’m rather shocked a Neon could make a dent that large, I was under the (mistaken) impression that they were sort of made of sand and fairy tale wishes and would simply disintegrate if you hit a speed bump at just the right angle. Not hatin’ mind you. My PT Cruiser has the chassis (apparently, according to my know it all sibling) that belongs to the Neon class of cars. Sturdy little beasts, aren’t they?

    • My Neon was a ’98, and I drove it until it completely quit on me a year and a half ago (I bought it in 2000). It WAS a beast…. the body was very sturdy, even when it seemed like the entire chassis was on the verge of collapse those last few years. The one problem that plagued those cutesy Dodge cars of the late 90’s was they were built with shitty engine heads that were a ticking time bomb. Mine went in 2002 and it leaked oil like a sieve months before, just a couple months before my warranty expired, I got it replaced for free. It pisses me off that they never issued a recall on it, but that’s why there are so few Neons still on the road today. Oil leaks sent them to an early grave…

      Mitzi definitely has a harem, and I should just be grateful to be a part of it. Not that the girl would turn anyone down…

  5. kyleoyier says:

    Just love your pics and great post

  6. draliman says:

    I won my fair share of goldfish at fairgrounds. I think they were defective or something, the way they kept dying…

  7. Keep continuing to enjoy the high life. As for the fish, no wonder I’m a vegetarian. 🙃

  8. That car of yours was a tank…..good thing the guy you – er – bumped into was amenable to a friendly settling of things. As for weather woes – we had lots of soggy followed by a couple days of teasing sun followed by more soggy – (you get the idea). I think we are ALL getting a case of “ICK” from all the wet. My brother had a fish tank when he was younger and he was happy to watch the fish but apparently had a problem feeding them or cleaning the tank. My Mom always said they were “her” fish since she did all the work. That’s the way these things often wind up!

    Pam

  9. Trisha says:

    I’m glad the other driver was nice after you t-boned them. I hope I could be calm and nice but sometimes when something scares me bad things come out of my mouth before the adrenaline rush subsides. And a dent like that would surely total my 1997 tank and I’m hoping to keep it on the road until after its 30th birthday!

    • I was hoping to keep the Neon that long, but I knew it wouldn’t last. Although I like the fact that my new car actually drives like a new car, I’d take the old tank back in a heartbeat just to get rid of that stupid remote keychain!

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