All Time Sandy Awards – So Wrong!

What is wrong with these people!?!?

In lieu of being able to run a proper Sandy Awards show for 2021, The Nest has been treating you every Tuesday to some of the most head slapping search terms from our ten year history.  It’s our All Time Sandy Awards tribute, and if you thought one of my yearly shows ran long… this party’s gonna last for eleven weeks!

For the seventh installment in this series, today we’ll look back at what can truly be called the best of the worst!  These are the search terms that will leave you questioning humanity and just what the hell is wrong with the people who entered them in the first place!  OK, they probably have a lot of the same problems I do, but that isn’t going to keep me from poking fun at their shocking, appalling and offensively hilarious things they were searching for…

All of the bolded terms below were really entered by someone into a search engine who wound up visiting The Nest via that search!

If loving these search terms is wrong, we don’t wanna be right…

squirrel w kidney stones – That’s not nice!  I wouldn’t wish kidney stones on my worst enemy…. even birds.

prayer for hitting a squirrel – Please God, don’t let this squirrel have a good attorney!  Amen.

String him up for hitting that squirrel!

lazy ass welfare people sayings – Sorry, but they were too lazy to come up with any.

the evil politicians are going down election day 2012 – Yeah, good luck with that…

Sam will just keep coming back for more…

pabst spuds mckenzie – Not quite.  Spuds was shilling Budweiser to the kids who adored him in the 80’s…

Kids love their beer mascots!

black and white squirrel from bambi – Someone’s in for a surprise…

Yes sir, I’m a squirrel! Come look at me from behind and see!

thanksgiving in april – Yeah, because we need the Christmas shopping season to start in the Spring…

bah fucking humbug! – The Christmas spirit, ruined by Thanksgiving in April…

eat shit

Mmmmm, don’t mind if I do!

hats that look like squirrels are called what? – Cruel.

rotary cellphone – That will slow down those crazy texters…

WIND! Chicka! Chicka! Chicka! Chicka!

cartoon pictures of squirrels learning how to be evil at squirrel school – You really think a squirrel has to be taught evilness?

i had a dream of trying to kill an evil squirrel and it turned out to be a baby – Don’t worry, that could happen to anybody…

Here comes Mrs. Nosewitch with that meat cleaver again…

i don’t brake for squirrels – That’s fine, I don’t brake for assholes.

when the fuck will winter be over – On March 20th like every other year…

When the fuck will winter be over?

caddyshack squirrel

Calm down, I know you’re really a gopher.

big bucks no whammies jokers wild – Uh…. no.

The contestants on my show have to act civilized…. like me.

how to kill a squirrel in 60 seconds – Does that include the time you spent looking it up on Google?

how to kill a squirrel nest – You could shoot the nest, stab the nest, strangle the nest…. or even wait until the nest dies from old age.

brockport squirrel killing contest – The nadir of human civilization, folks…

And don’t miss the Brockport Possum Grilling Contest for the Fourth of July!

image of spitting up coke – You don’t spit it, you snort it!

space balls darth helmet blows up planet – Dark Helmet didn’t blow up any planet!  He just sucked one off…

Dark Helmet was such a perv…

a world without squirrels – Only around Brockport…

polish squirrel joke – Yeesh.  I’ll have to find a genuine Polish squirrel to tell it…

Why was the Polish squirrel unable to run from the dog? He’d just buried his nuts and got stuck!

beer commercial gave him a six pack – Nobody’s getting a six pack from sitting on the couch watching TV.

i am trying to spare my kids

Squirrel Mom feels your pain.

squirrels nest and white stuff from tree – You really don’t want to know what your squirrels are doing up there…

why do squirrels become active at night? – Because you live in Bizarro world…

bananarama venus song is an evil song – Dude, that’s just a chick in red spandex!

Yeah baby, she’s got it!

different ways to cook squirrel – I’ll answer this only if I can give you some of my favorite recipes as well…

I hope this meal is organic because I just pooped my diaper.

squirrel on meth pic – Why do so many people have a fascination with giving squirrels drugs?

squirrels are douches – They only act like that when someone’s slipped them some drugs.

i hate big butts

Kiss it, haters!

fuck up kids – As much as they might need it, parents tend to frown upon strangers fucking up their kids…

skunk spraying color

Green is a color. I hope you like green…

taco blackface – Let’s see how many demographics we can offend in just one search!

gato microwave – Take Sylvester out of the microwave right now, Speedy Gonzales!

Thufferin’ Thuccotash!!!

the evil of judgmental people – Speak for yourself, Mr. or Ms. Judgmental.

3d fuckface toons – Ohhhhhhhkay.

brown cartoon characters penfold – So this is what it’s come to…. racially profiling cartoon characters?

Brown cartoon characters just can’t keep up with their white counterparts.

picture of squirrel with a middle finger – Sure!

This squirrel clearly has a middle finger.  That’s what you asked for, right?

corn cob in your butt jokes – They’re probably not funny if you have the corn cob in your butt…

What’s so funny?

And yet among all of this wrongness, none of these terms even won the Sandy for the category!  To find out which one did, as well as all of the category winners, you’ll have to wait until the final post in this series on March 22nd.  Until then, tune in next Tuesday for another exciting category in our All Time Sandys extravaganza of the weird!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in 10th Anniversary Squirrels and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to All Time Sandy Awards – So Wrong!

  1. 😱 Oh my virgin ears!! Category: How many times is the word “fuck” used on one post?” You’d think someone might find a more descriptive term….

  2. love the middle finger squirrel it looks more like a statement when you do it with the tail (if you are a squirrel) ;O)))

  3. ghostmmnc says:

    I must be in a silly mood because most all of these got me laughing so much! 🙂

  4. How to kill a squirrel nest? I love your suggestions … 🙂

  5. Willow Croft says:

    *trying not to think about all the poor squirrels and gatos* Ack!

  6. Kismet says:

    What is wrong with birds?

  7. draliman says:

    Oh dear, a lot of people seem to have it in for squirrels. Fortunately squirrels are taught how to look after themselves at the evil squirrel school…

  8. Well a lot of people certainly want to expand their knowledge of the world of squirrels – Their searches brought them to YOU…..the ultimate source. It’s quite a responsibility!

    Pam

  9. Best of the worst indeed! Yikes. Talk about demented people out there.

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