Search terms are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

The Nest is still celebrating like it’s 2021, as in our tenth anniversary extravaganza!  The latter half of our party has been looking back at the Sandy Awards, The Nest’s beloved tribute to all of those silly search terms people have used to find our blog.  We couldn’t do a show last year, so we’re opening up the entire archive for an All Time Sandy Awards spectacular!

This was the time in the show where we usually looked at a handful of search terms that didn’t quite fit into any of the other categories… so for Part 8 of ATSA, it’s a celebration of miscellany!  Search terms that didn’t fall into line with the others, but were still too good not to overlook!  As always, the bolded terms below were really entered by somebody into a search engine that brought them to The Nest in the last ten years!

I hope you appreciate that I had to make a brand new banner for this category full of random oddness!

misplaced toys – Well, you’re not gonna find them by using Google!

made it to tax day – Congratulations!  Now you can start slaving away to pay next year’s taxes…

Give until it hurts!

yay its friday but i work saturday – Welcome to the wonderful world of service work!

I hope you weren’t expecting a corner office.

do and don t for ottoman emperors – If this advice is really online, isn’t it a few centuries too late?

how to play possum –

You’re doing it wrong, Carly!

test it make sure it’s alright – If only the captains of the Titanic and Hindenberg had thought to search for this…

are my buddy dolls from hell – No, but Kid Sister gets like that once a month…

choose your own adventure were-squirrel – No matter which path you take, there’s only one ending…

Kiddie lit, circa 1978!

feliz navidad everyone gets up – Of course they did… that song sucks major ass!

christmas song sung by the wolf and the mouse – As long as it isn’t Feliz Navidad…

who wants to be a millionaire million dollar check –

I’ll sell it to you for $10,000.

press your luck obnoxious contestant – Those were the only kind of people allowed on that game show insane asylum.

press your luck prize – It should have been a taser…

The taser company didn’t sponsor the show, though…

real millionaires don’t use grey poupon – No, they probably use mustard made from soylent green…

big green nut cracker –

HULK…. SMASH…. NUTS!!!!

kids at boring recess – I’d imagine recess is always boring now that they all have smartphones…

26th century car – 500 years in the future, and it still won’t fly…

Well, futurists will always have this dream.

look at his actions and decide – Sounds like the title of Donald Trump’s biography…

koala kiss cartoon pics –

Pucker up, BITCH!!!

evil squirrels nest choking – Oh come on, my blog can’t be doing that bad!

First Spilly, and then YOU, Evil Squirrel!

the skunk who didn’t want to stink – From the author who gave us “The Sloth Who Didn’t Want To Be Lazy,” and “The Female Dog Who Didn’t Want To Be A Bitch.”

1955 webster dictionary value – Given the bastardization of the English language since then, it’s probably not worth much…

possum face – Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my possum face…

P-p-p-possum face!

smartass response to hows it hanging – I don’t remember consulting search engines on the playground in the 80’s when I needed a snappy comeback…

random four guys –

These four lads seem pretty random.

squirrel nests in pokemon go – This was how all those kids got killed playing Pokemon Go…

the cutest goonie – No contest!

Sloth got date with Andi tonight! Borrow Chunk’s Baby Roooooth?

squirrels are people too – Of course they are!  They just prefer to live in trees…

story behind tingle shampoo commercial tingle – Admit it, you just like saying the word “tingle”…

how to draw the last supper – Draw a table.  Draw thirteen guys around that table.  Sign your name.

Or you could just copy off of me…

silly bitch trix are for kids – Poor rabbit had it worse than Wile E. Coyote…

Not even laboratory rabbits getting makeup jammed in their eye suffered as much as the poor Trix bunny…

whataburger squirrels nest – Can you get that with cheese?

the evil purple menace – I’m glad I’m not the only one who hates Prince…

Can’t hear the haters! Cuz, you know… I’m dead.

kentucky fried chicken bitch – You act like a bitch, you end up in the fryer…

vampire possum –

Forget the wooden stake. A pickup truck will do…

having chili instead of turkey for thanksgiving funny comic – What’s so funny about that?

thermometer showing 109 degrees – Glad to see I met somebody’s completely arbitrary requirement…

Courtesy of the Summer of 2012.

i can’t feel my roots – Neither can I…

ussr 1981 na zare music translation – According to Google Translator, it means “This Band Sucks”…

Alyans should be paying my blog royalties…

hawaiian punch guy saying o yea – Someone can’t keep their violent fruit punch mascots straight…

the lion sleeps tonight the tokens version with tuba tuba – The Tokens version did not have Tuba Tuba, you’re thinking of the Little Caesars version…

Wimoweh! Wimoweh!

squirrels nest in dream imagery – It’s your conscience trying to get you for killing that squirrel nest!

everybody must get stoned comics – I’m sure I have plenty of stoned comics, but enough for everybody?

evil moth comics – Imagine, a cartoon closet full of holey clothes…

faulty the clapper tv commercial where the clapper does not go off –

Time to make this post go off…. CLAP! CLAP!

And… you guessed it, none of those searches won the award for this category!  To find out which one did, you’ll have to wait for the All Time Sandys finale on March 22nd!  Until then, tune in next Tuesday for yet another exciting category full of human weirdness!