Cookie Critters

Are you sure the Health Nazis will let us eat these things, Cookie?

Are you sure the Health Nazis will let us eat these things, Cookie?

picture dayIt’s Wednesday, which means it’s time for someone or something to strike a pose and be a part of Picture Day here at The Nest!  Since it’s just a couple days before Christmas, I figured I’d try to actually be seasonally on topic with this week’s entry… and that’s hard since I don’t particularly care for Christmas and certainly don’t whip out the camera to take any awkward holiday photos.  But, I do have a treat for you today that you can have if you’ve all been good boys and squirrels this year… and I would assume that most of you haven’t been…

Christmas and squirrels just go together, don't they?

Christmas and squirrels just go together, don’t they?

2009 was the first year I lived in my very own house, and it actually inspired me to try to do some crazy, independent person type things… like bake fucking Christmas cookies.  Please note, I am not a baker, and my entire experience with making cookies outside of this one-time wild hair up my wazoo involved rolls of Pillsbury cookie dough.  I actually used a mixing bowl, a cutting board, and even a rolling pin…. the whole nine yards.

And of course, what really inspired me to attempt this was the fact that one of my message board friends had sent me a squirrel shaped cookie cutter as a housewarming gift.  I cut out the six sciurines above from the gloppy, sticky dough I forged from nothingness… baked them, frosted them, threw random assorted sprinkles on the frosting, and even topped it off with a single peanut where their paws would be.

I was actually proud enough of my creations to bring them with me to our annual Christmas Eve gathering at Grandma’s house.  A few of my relatives actually had the courage to eat the cookies.  Amazingly, there were no fatalities…

And you thought it wasn't safe to search for "barfing" with Google Images...

And you thought it wasn’t safe to search for “barfing” with Google Images…

My oven kicked the bucket four years ago, and I haven’t missed it enough to bother with having it fixed.  So if anyone was hoping I’d bake you all some cookies this year…. sorry.  You are welcome to share my peanut butter crackers, though…

Choosy ponies choose Jif.

Choosy ponies choose Jif.

I’ll do this one last time for the year next week…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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23 Responses to Cookie Critters

  1. Merbear74 says:

    But how do you cook anything without an oven?
    I am not a baker either. I once made brownies and my brother hit one with his baseball bat.

  2. fanrosa says:

    Right up until the oven revelation, I was going to come to your rescue by telling you that you can roll out your Pillsbury dough loaf and get your squirrelly cookies. Oh well, you can still use your cookie cutter to make festive sandwiches!

    My knowledge comes from making sandwiches attractive to a two year old, but there are probably 48540864833 hacks on the Google for other uses. Cookie cutters, they’re not just for cookies anymore!

    I also never realized that you were a fan of the Oxford comma. That disturbs me…..

  3. Deborah says:

    I’m impressed with your attempts at being seasonal. Good thing I was sitting down. 🙂

  4. draliman says:

    Your cookies are so cute 🙂
    How do you heat up your pizzas without an oven?

  5. Trisha says:

    OMG, squirrel cookies! I’ve never seen a squirrel cookie cutter! I am very impressed that you made them from scratch. Roll out cookies are a bitch. I only make them once or twice a year and only because my kid with the sweet tooth would be terribly disappointed if I didn’t. You did an awesome job decorating the cookies too. I like the dark sprinkles for the face, feet and tail. That’s more detailed a decorating job than I ever do!

    • I’m pretty sure the lady who sent it to me ordered it online somewhere…. it came with a little card with a cute squirrel on the front and a recipe on the back. I had that card sitting in one of the shelves on my computer desk for the longest time, but it seems to have gotten buried among all the other junk and I wouldn’t be able to find it without a backhoe.

      I remember shopping for the sprinkles now! It may have been the only time I became one of those annoying customers who blocked the aisle for half an hour trying to make up my mind over what to buy. Even with cookies it appears I try to be artsy…

  6. Quirky Girl says:

    What? No squirrel cookies?

    Ok, fine. I’ll admit it- I probably have not been good enough for cookies.

    Not even good enough to make my own damn cookies, even though I do have a functional oven…

    Oh well. There’s always next year, right? 😀

  7. Those cookies look pretty good! I think I’m going to try to make a batch of my internationally famous ginger snaps. Then I’m going to sit and EAT them. All of them. Alone. In the dark. Bwahahaha!

  8. gentlestitches says:

    It is ironic that I got distracted and started reading about ellipses and actually burnt the ringlet puffs I was baking for a party tonight. I cant even take the chips because I ate them. Anyone for toast?

  9. Those cookies look amazingly cute.

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