Letters To Santa – Day 22

Christm….. errr, THIS morning….

EVIL SQUIRREL: Santa not only insults me by not honoring my request, but he re-gifts his Squirreldeer he already gave to Mr. Fox?  I hope that jolly old sack of shit enjoys his new life on the Goodwill counter next to those creepy ass Precious Moments figurines nobody wants…

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER:  SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!

ES: What?  You mean you’ve actually written a skit for me?  I didn’t think squirreldeer even had brains underneath those bingo dauber noses.  Well, let me see it.  Hey, this isn’t bad!  I kinda like it.  You know what, we’re gonna lead off with the letter this time and do the Santa segment as the payoff!

Aaaaaaaaaand ACTION!!!

SANTA: I don’t know what kinky fuck thought I should be tied up to a sleigh like this, but… (CRACK!!!) YEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

SEYMOUR: Santa!  That wasn’t in the script!  Now we’re going to have to re-take the scene from the top!  Please, sir, stick to your lines this time!

(CRACK!!!!)

SANTA: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!

SEYMOUR: Perfect, Santa!  You’re a natural as a squirreldeer!

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: Ho Ho Ho!  Merry Christmas!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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14 Responses to Letters To Santa – Day 22

  1. I should feel deprived. I never believed in Santa because we didn’t believe in Santa. Collectively. So i didn’t get Santa Claus or ever believe in him. So I never wrote him a letter and it never crossed my mind that presents were not bought and paid for by a person. Weird at this season to realize — this isn’t my season. I LIKE it, but it’s not mine. But it’s fun to watch!

  2. Santa’s little oafs finally win the day? 😉

  3. draliman says:

    Scrat finally got a proper line!

  4. perfect!!! ho and ho and ho is always a good line…

  5. Ahhhhhhhhhh……..REVENGE is often the best gift of all !!!

    Pam

  6. Revenge is a dish best served with glee in this case. Merry Christmas to you and the whole Shelf.

  7. Trisha says:

    LOL! Santa totally deserves this after all the crap he’s pulled on the Shelf this year. Is it just me or does Scrat The Red Nosed Squirreldeer appear to have a different, more deranged and gleeful expression on his face in that last photo?

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